Let not the waterflood drown me, neither let the deep swallow me up, and let not the pit shut her mouth upon me. Lord, Thou knowest all my desire, and my groaning is not hid from Thee. Thou knowest, Lord, that I speak the truth in Christ, and lie not. my conscience also bearing me witness that I have great heaviness and continual sorrow in my heart, because I have thus sinned against Thee; that I am a burden to myself, in that I cannot sorrow more; that I beseech from Thee groanings that cannot be uttered, Woe is me! for my dryness, and more and still more bruise, and cleave, and prick, and pierce my heart. Behold, O Lord, that I am indignant with myself on account of the foolish and vain and mischievous and dangerous desires of my flesh; that I abhor myself for the madness and baseness and vileness of those desires, worthy of confusion and reproach; that all the day long my confusion is before me, and the shame of my face hath covered me. Woe is me! that I did not reverence nor dread Thy lovable Goodness. How have I been drawn away by mine own lusts! how have I hated reproof! and have not obeyed the voice of my teachers! Behold, O Lord, that fearfulness and trembling are come upon me, and the fear of death hath fallen upon me! What fear, what terror, what trembling, what agony, what extremity have I yet to see! What confusion will seize me! What darkness will surround me! How terrible is Thy judgment-seat, O God! when the thrones are set, and the Angels stand around, and the thoughts scrutinized, What will be the judgment against me? and the fearful punishment, and the eternal Gehenna, and the pitiless angels, and hell enlarging its mouth, and the roaring river of fire, and the fire unquenchable, and the prison of darkness, and that darkness rayless, and the bed of live coals, and the undying worm, and the indissoluble chains, and the unmeasurable gulf, and the wall that cannot be crossed, and the lament that cannot be consoled, and none to assist, to advocate, to free! Behold, O Lord, I adjudge myself worthy of, and amenable to, and guilty of, eternal punishment; yea, and of all the troubles of this world: From Thee, O Lord, I have merited death, from Thee, the Just One; but yet to Thee, O Lord, I appeal, if Thou dost not, we perish! And, O Lord, carest Thou not that we perish? Thou who wilt have all men to be saved, who art not willing that any should perish? Behold me, O Lord, condemned by my own judgment; Behold me; and enter not Thou, O Lord, into judgment with Thy servant! I am less than the least of all Thy mercies; I am not worthy to be one of Thine hired servants, no, not the lowest; I am not worthy to gather up the crumbs I am not worthy to touch the hem of Thy garment. And now, O Lord, humbling myself I bend my knees to Thee, and fall down to the ground, on my face. I stretch forth my hands unto Thee; my soul gaspeth unto Thee as a thirsty land. I dare not so much as to lift up mine eyes unto Heaven, but I smite upon my breast. Out of the deep hath my soul cried unto Thee. and all that is within me, yea, all my bones, for Thy great mercy, and for the multitude of Thy loving-kindnesses, for Thy Name sake, for the glory of Thy Name, be merciful to my sin : for it is great; for it is exceedingly great. of Thy loving-kindnesses, be merciful unto me, O Lord, a sinner: Lord, let Thy Mercy rejoice against Thy O my Lord, where sin hath abounded, O Lord, hearken and do; defer not for Thine own sake, O my God. |