The ufual trafh of compliment and flattery, with which that contemptible order of mortals, commonly called fops, are wont to entertain the ladies, is equally fhameful to thofe who utter, and thofe who receive it. And none but the most fuperficial part of the fex are to be impofed upon by it; nor can any thing fhew a man in a more ridiculous light, than to be convicted of attempting to flatter, without fufficient address to conceal his defign. The whole of it is mean and difingenuous, and unworthy of the open plainnefs and fincerity, fo graceful in our fex. At the fame time, as the ladies are but little accustomed to hear the plain truth, much less disagreeable truths, a man of prudence will avoid contradicting or blaming them too bluntly, knowing, that by fuch behaviour there is nothing to be got but their ill-will. Toying or romping with hand fome women, however diftant it may be from any direct defign upon them, being yet unfuitable to the delicacy of genteel behaviour, and tending naturally to promote levity, if not to excite irregular defires in young minds, is what I would with wholly difcouraged.

As there is no accomplishment more agreeable in a companion, when people want to relax, than a knack at telling a story; there is no part of converfation, in which men expofe themselves more egregioully. The entertainment, and inftruction, which companies receive from a well-told story, of which history and lives furnish the beft materials, naturally make people defirous of being thought to poffefs a talent fo agreeable. And thofe whom nature has not fitted out with the proper abilities, cannot mifs to execute what they undertake in an awkward manner. The chief of the errors in telling a story, are the following, viz. Tediousness in dwelling upon infignificant circumftances, which do not intereft the company. And, on the other hand, curtailing too much, and leaving out fuch circumftances as tend to characterize the perfons in the ftory, or are otherwife effential. Over-running the proper conclufion, or catastrophe of the narration. Over-acting the humourous or lively parts; or drawling on the narration in an unanimated manner.

The

The moft witty and facetious companion in the world, may make himself as thoroughly difagreeable as the moft infipid mortal that can go into company. Let fuch a one labour to be witty, and ftrain for fine things. Let him ftun the company with noife and forward impertinence; or let him fhew a contempt for them by a fullen filence; and he fhall be as heartily defpifed as ever he was admired.

I do not think it would be easy to invent a fillier cuftom, than that which univerfally prevails at present, of vifiting where there is no real regard or esteem. There is no keeping up a correfpondence of this kind, without being guilty of infinite diffimulation. And they muft fet politenefs at a high rate indeed, who will give up integrity for it.

But to confider this matter only in a prudential light, which is the bufinefs at prefent, I fhould be glad to know wherein appears the wifdom of throwing away time (which one may always apply in fome manner agreeable to one's felf) upon people, whom one heartily defpifes. Where intereft obliges people in business to fhew civility to their customers, or thofe they have connexions with in life, there is fome pretence of neceflity for keeping up fuch a commerce. But why people in high and independent ftations, fhould think it neceffary to spend fo many hours in vifits, to themfelves infipid and difagreeable, is to me wholly inconceivable. When there are fo many noble employments, and elegant amufements, to fill up the time of people of figure, it grieves one to fee them make themselves ufelefs to their country, and unhappy in themfelves, by wafting their hours in the flavery of difagreeable vifits, and the endless drudgery of the card-table. To fee people of rank defcend to fuch low foolery, as vifiting those whom they hate or defpife; denying themfelves by their fervants, when they are really at home, to avoid the vifits of thofe themselves have invited, making pretended vifits to those they know to be abroad, and even fending their empty coaches to perform thofe mock ceremonies; to obferve all this hypocritical farce, carried on by people

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people of high rank, how does it degrade them in the eyes of their inferiors!

SECT. IV.

Of Swearing and Obfcenity. Of Complaifance. Of Overbearing. Of Paffion. Of acknowledging Faults. Of wrangling in Converfation. Of the Importance of Circumftantials in Behaviour.

NE may lay down the following, as a maxim, which will never fail, viz. That fo long as his converfation is entertaining, and behaviour affable and modeft, he will be fure to be treated with refpect, thơ' his difcourfe be quite fober and chafte.

Swearing and obfcenity are offences not only against all that is facred, but against all that is polite. They are fins without temptation, without alleviation, and without reward. Swearing is an affront to all fober and well-behaved people. It confounds and interrupts, inftead of gracing converfation; as the continual repetition of any fet of unmeaning words from time to time ncceffarily muft.

As for obfcenity, every one knows it muft fhock and ftartle every modeft ear. It gives no real pleasure; but on the contrary, if it has any effect, must excite and irritate the paffions, without gratifying them, which is pain and torment. If obscenity is fit converfation only for public ftews, it cannot be proper among genteel people; and no perfon deferves the appellation of a gentleman, who accuftoms himfelf to the behaviour of whore-mafters and proftitutes. For it is manners, and not drefs, that form that character.

If the definition of true good manners be, That behaviour, which makes a man eafy in himself, and easy to all about him; it can never be good manners to be troublesome by an excefs of ceremony, by over-preffing to eat or drink, or by forcing one's favours of any kind, upon thofe one converfes with. Nor can it be faid to be confiftent with good behaviour, to over-do the complimenting part, fo as to border upon infipid flattery; nor does politenefs by any means require that we ex

ceed

ceed our inclination, or crofs our particular tafte, in eating and drinking what may be preffed upon us, to our own difguft; much lefs to the prejudice of our health or temperance.

No one can be long at a lofs, as to behaviour, who obferves the two following directions, and is in earnest refolved to regulate his conduct upon them, viz. first, That the way to be generally agreeable in conversation, is to fhew, that one has lefs at heart the humouring his own inclinations, than thofe of the company, and that he is not fo full of himself, as to overlook or defpife others; and, fecondly, That the grace of behaviour is to be learned only from the imitation of the judicious and polite.

But care must be taken, that your imitation be not fo flavish as to ftrip you of your natural character and behaviour, and difguife you in thofe of another, which, being affumed and artificial, will not become you. For nature in Ruffet is more agreeable than affectation in Embroidery.

There is nothing that cofts lefs, and gains more friends, than an affable and courteous behaviour. One may always obferve, that thofe, who have been accuftomed to the best company, behave with the greatest freedom and good nature. People of figure and real worth, having reafon to expect that others will treat them with fuitable refpect, do not find it neceflary to affume any airs of fuperiority. Whereas, the vain and conceited, who fancy no fubmiffion whatever is equal to their dignity, are ever endeavouring, by a haughty carriage, to keep up that refpect in others, which their want of real merit cannot. But how ill they fucceed, is eafy to obferve, from the univerfal contempt and difguft fuch a behaviour meets with among all judicious people.

The truth of the matter is, that the differences between one perfon and another are, in refpect to every circumftance, but that of virtue, fo very inconfiderable, as to render any infolent fuperiority on the one hand, or mean fubmiffion on the other, extremely ridiculous; fince, according to the elegant expreffion of Scripture, "Man is but a worm, and the fon of man a worm,"

Nothing fhews a greater abjectnefs of fpirit, than an over-bearing temper, appearing in a perfon's behaviour to inferiors. To infult or abufe thofe who dare not anfwer again, is as fure a mark of cowardice, as it would be to attack with a drawn fword a woman or a child. And wherever you fee a perfon given to infult his inferiors, you may affure yourfelf he will creep to his fuperiors; for the fame bafenefs of mind will lead him to act the part of a bully to thofe who cannot refift, and of a coward to thofe who can. But though fervants and other dependents may not have it in their power to retort, in the fame tafte, the injurious ufage they receive from their fuperiors, they are fure to be even with them by the contempt they themfelves have for them, and the character they spread abroad of them through the world. Upon the whole, the proper behaviour to inferiors is, To treat them with generofity and humanity; but by no means with familiarity on one hand, or infolence on the other.

And, if a fiery temper and paflionate behaviour are improper to inferiors, they are more fo among equals; for this obvious reafon, That the only effect of a choleric behaviour on your equals, is expofing you to the ridicule of thofe who have no dependence upon you, and have neither hopes nor fears from you.

There is indeed no greater happiness than an even natural temper, neither liable to be extremely eager and fanguine, nor ftoically indifferent and infenfible; neither apt to be worked up to a tempeft with every trifle, nor yet buried in a continual lethargic ftupidity; neither delighting in being always engaged in fcenes of mirth and frolic, nor to be wrapped in the impenetrable gloom of a fixed melancholy. And after all, what is there in life that may be juftly reckoned of fufficient importance to move a perfon to a violent paffion? What good grounds can there be for great expectations, for gloomy apprehenfions, for immoderate triumph, or for deep dejection, in fuch a ftate as the prefent, in which we are fure of meeting with innumerable disappoint ments, even in the greatest fuccefs of our affairs, and in which we know that our afflictions and our pleasures

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