Church, He had supposed, that a strict and self-denying regard to the duties which he owed to God and man, would produce in him the true Christian faith. In this he was painfully disappointed. He told me, that, together with those fruits meet for repentance, he had given himself a fortnight to root out of his heart each of the spiritual evils which he discovered therein,—pride, anger, self-will, &c.; but found, at the end of the prescribed time, that his enemy still retained possession, and seemed even to increase in strength. He well noted this in his sermon before the University, on Salvation by faith. "Can you empty the great deep, drop by drop?" &c. No: our present salvation depends much more on what we receive, than on what we do. He now began to feel something of this poverty of spirit.

He now went to see his brother Samuel and some other friends, and afterward took a longer journey. He returned to Oxford. Here he again conversed largely with Peter Boehler, and by "him" said he, "in the hand of the great God, I was clearly convinced of the want of that faith, whereby alone we are saved."

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Immediately he felt an inclination to leave off preaching 'How," thought he, "can I preach to others, who have not faith myself?" He asked his friend, whether he should leave it off or not. "By no means," said he, "preach faith till you have it; and then because you have it, you will preach faith."

But a difficulty still remained: How is this faith given? He had now no objection to what his friend said of the nature of Christian faith; that it is (to use the words of the Church of England,) a sure trust and confidence which a man hath in God, that, through the merits of Christ, his sins are forgiven, and he is reconciled to the favor of God. "Neither," said he, "could I deny either the happiness or holiness which he described, as fruits of this living faith. Those passages of Scripture, The spirit itself beareth witness

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with our spirit that we are the children of God?' And 'He that believeth hath the witness in himself,' fully convinced me of the former: As Whatsoever is born of God doth not commit sin;' and Whosoever believeth is born of God,' did of the latter. But I could not comprehend what he spoke of an instantaneous work. I could not understand how this faith should be given in a moment; how a man could at once be thus turned from darkness to light,-from sin and misery to righteousness and joy in the Holy Ghost. I searched the Scriptures again, touching this very thing, particularly the Acts of the Apostles; but, to my utter astonishment, found scarce any instances there of other than instantaneous conversions; scarce any other so slow as that of St. Paul, who was three days in the pangs of the new birth. I had but one retreat left, viz. Thus, I grant, God wrought in the first ages of Christianity; but the times are changed. What reason have I to believe he works in the same manner now?""

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But," proceeds he, "I was beat out of this retreat too, by the concurring evidence of several living witnesses; who testified God had thus wrought in themselves; giving them, in a moment, such a faith in the blood of his Son, as translated them out of darkness into light, out of sin and fear into holiness and happiness. Here ended my disputing. I could now only cry out, Lord help thou my unbelief?"

He proceeds, "I asked P. Boehler again, Whether I ought not to refrain from teaching others? He said, 'No; do not hide in the earth the talent God has given you.' Accordingly I spoke clearly and fully at Blendon to Mr. Delamotte's family, of the nature and fruits of Christian faith. Mr. Broughton and my brother were there. Mr. Broughton's great objection was, 'He could never think that I had not faith, who had done and suffered such things.' My brother was very angry, and told me, 'I did not know what mischief I had done by talking thus.' And indeed it did please God

then to kindle a fire which I trust shall never be extinguished."

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He now declared every where "the faith as it is in Jesus :"

a strange doctrine," says he, "which some, who did not care to contradict it, (for indeed how could they without both denying the Bible and the Church of England?) yet knew not what to make of it. But some who were thoroughly bruised by sin, willingly heard and received it gladly."

March 27, 1738.-About this time he began to pray extempore. On a certain occasion; he says, "We prayed first in several forms of prayer, and then in such words as were given us in that hour."

Mr. Wesley again observes, that on Saturday, April 1, being, at Mr. Foxe's society, he found his heart so full, that he could not confine himself to the forms of prayer they were

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accustomed to use there. Neither," says he, "do I propose to be confined to them any more; but to pray indifferently, with a form or without, as I may find suitable to particular occasions." When God gives the spirit of prayer deliverance is near.

Mr. Wesley and Mr. Broughton having returned to London, Mr. C. Wesley began to read Haliburton's life. It produced in him great humiliation, self-abasement, and a sense of his want of that faith which brings " righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost." But these effects soon passed away as a morning cloud. A degree of conviction, however, that possibly he might be wrong, had taken hold of his mind, and continued to make him uneasy. This uneasiness was increased by a return of his disorder on the 28th, when he arrived in London. Here Peter Boehler visited him again, and prayed with him. Mr. Charles Wesley now thought it was his duty to consider Boehler's doctrine, and to examine himself whether he was in the faith; and if not, never to rest till he had attained it. Still, however, there was a secret wish within his heart that this

new doctrine, as he then thought it, might not be true; and hence arose a joy when he imagined he had found an argument against it. This argument was from his own experience, and he deemed it unanswerable. Having received benefit by bleeding, he attended the sacrament on the first of May, and felt a degree of peace in receiving it. "Now," said he to himself, "I have demonstration against the Moravian doctrine, viz. that a man cannot have peace without assurance of his pardon. I now have peace, yet cannot say of a surety that my sins are forgiven." His triumph was very short: His peace immediately left him, and he sunk into greater doubts and distress than before. He now began to be convinced, that he had not that faith which puts the true believer in possession of the benefits and privileges of the Gospel. For some days following, he had a faint desire to attain it, and prayed for it. He then began to speak of the necessity of this faith to his friends; and he determined not to rest till he had the happy experience of it in himself.

May 17.—Mr. C. Wesley first saw "LUTHER on the Galatians," which Mr. Holland had accidentally met with. They immediately began to read him: "And my friend," adds Mr. C. Wesley, "was so affected in hearing him read, that he breathed sighs and groans unutterable. I also marvelled that we were so soon and entirely removed from him that called us into the grace of Christ, unto another Gospel. Who would believe, that our Church had been founded on this important article of justification by faith alone?" I astonished I should ever think this a new doctrine; especially while our Articles and Homilies stand unrepealed, and the key of knowledge is not yet taken away. From

* Mr. C. Wesley did not then see the nature of Antinomianism in that work,-the infernal shadow that has ever followed the true faith. Of this, Luther was not himself conscious when he wrote that book.

this time I endeavored to ground as many of our friends as came to see me, in this fundamental truth,-Salvation by faith alone-not an idle and dead faith, but a faith which works by love, and is incessantly productive of all good works, and all holiness."

Mr. C. Wesley's knowledge of himself, and conscious want of peace with God, on a foundation that cannot be skaken, furnished him with a key which opened the true meaning of the Scriptures. He saw the gospel contained ample provision for all his wants, and that its operation on the mind is also admirably adapted to the human faculties. He now lost the pride of literature, and sought the kingdom of heaven as a little child: He counted all things as dung and dross in comparison of it; and all his thoughts, his desires, his hopes, his fears, had some relation to it. He was now brought to the birth. On Whitsunday 21st, he waked in hope and expectation of soon attaining the object of his wishes, the knowledge of God reconciled in Christ Jesus. At nine o'clock his brother and some friends came to him, and sung a hymn suited to the day. When they left him, he betook himself to prayer. Soon afterward a person came and said, in a very solemn manner, "Believe in the name of Jesus of Nazareth, and thou shalt be healed of all thine infirmities." The words went through his heart, and animated him with confidence. He looked into the Scripture, and read, “Now, Lord, what is my hope? truly my hope is even in thee." He then cast his eyes on these words, "He hath put a new song into my mouth, even a thanksgiving unto our God; many shall see it and fear, and put their trust in the Lord." Afterward he opened upon Isaiah xl, 1, "Comfort ye, comfort ye my people, saith your God, speak ye comfortably to Jerusalem, and cry unto her, that her warfare is accomplished, that her iniquity is pardoned, for she hath received of the Lord's hand double for all her sins." In reading these passages of Scripture, he