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After we were fixed at Cochin, where we found several children, descendants of European parents, who were well able to pay for their education, but were much in want of some one to conduct it, she projected, in order to save as much as possible the public money, the plan of taking charge of the education of these children; and of discharging, with whatever remuneration she might receive, the expenses of a Native Girls school. Her plan was on the point of being put into execution, some notice of it having been given to the inhabitants, when He who ordereth all things according to the counsel of his own will, saw good to put us to the very great and painful trial of leaving our interesting and encouraging Station, by rendering it necessary for us to return to England, as, humanly speaking, the only means likely to preserve our lives : yet it was not expected by our medical attendant that we should live till the vessel reached the Cape. Our departure took place when we had been only about eighteen months in the country, and had been fixed at Cochin but about ten.
Though disappointed thus of her desired object of labouring among the Heathen, Mrs. Dawson retained to the last her love to that work in which she had attempted to engage. Mr. DAWSON writes
I need not say how much her heart was frequently rejoiced, on her death-bed, on hearing of the efforts now making in India, for the benefit of her own sex, and of the success attending them.
After lingering several years in a state of great debility, Mrs. Dawson became, at length, unable to leave her bed. Of her long and painful confinement there of nearly thirty-two weeks, and of the scene which closed her sufferings, her Husband gives the following affecting and instructive account:
She had very restless nights for a long time before her death; in which it was her custom to employ her time, as much as possible, in communion with her God. After one of these seasons, she said to me, “I would not be without my restless nights for a great deal : they are the best of my time.” At another time, admiring the compassion of God to his wandering sheep, she said, How great must be the
mercy of God, that, when we have sinned and strayed from him so much, AFTER ALL, EVEN AFTER ALL, HE WILL RECEIVE US!"
Oct. 19, 1823.---After recovering a little from a severe paroxysm of coughing, and great consequent exhaustion, during which she was quite unable to speak, she said, “I shall not be long before I am at home!” I asked her how she felt her mind, when she replied, “ Unspeakably happy!” Having seen her weep much during her great exhaustion, 1 inquired why she had been weeping. She said, “They were tears of joy.” Her mind had been filled with a sense of the love of God to her soul. I then noticed a little occurrence that had just transpired, which I said I was afraid
had hurt her mind : she replied, “If you felt what I do, you would not be so troubled about these little things.'
I was once speaking to her of her great sufferings, when raising her eyes toward heaven, she said, “I wish to suffer bis will in all things." She was, indeed, remarkably patient under very severe pain; always looking forward to the time of her departure, with great composure and fervent desire for its arrival.
Dec. 21, 1823.- I was prepared for Church; but my beloved wife became so ill, that it appeared my duty not to leave her: besides, I remembered that saying, I will have mercy, and not sacrifice. When she was a little relieved, I made a few remarks on our Saviour's promise, Lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end: afterward, also, on the words, He is altogether lovely, and the chief among ten thousand : she seemed much revived by this conversation : and, feeling the comfort of such a Saviour said, “ The Lord is all to me that I need."
Dec. 22.-My dear wife was very feverish and restless in the afternoon; when she said, “I have been thinking what a mercy it is that I can find rest in Christ. I have no rest, but I can rest in him."
Her medical attendant came; and when he was gone, she, as usual, asked what he had said respecting her. I told her, that he said, unless the symptoms abated, she could not continue long. “That is good news; is it not ?" was her reply-adding, “I have derived comfort from that passage, Let him take hold of my strength, that he may make peace with me; and he shall make peace with me." Is. xxvii. 5. I remarked that Christ was the strength of God, against the law, sin, the flesh, and the devil: she said, He is the end of the Law for righteousness to every one that believeth.
I asked her if she repented of having gone to India. “Oh, no, no,” said she : "it would be the first thing that I should think of doing, were I to get well. Had I a thousand lives, I should wish to spend THEM ALL in the work.”
Dec. 23.- In the evening the fever returned, when she again became very restless, suffering also a great deal from spasms. She said, "I hope it will soon be over.” I answered, "Well, my dear, you must look to the Lord for strength; you know His grace is sufficient for you.” She replied, 'Oh yes, it is sufficient! I find it sufficient! but I long to be with Jesus: 1 long to leave this world of sin and death !" On my going to her bed-side, after a little while she said, “I am very poorly.” I replied, “I hope the Lord will give you strength according to your day." She then spoke in a manner that strikingly expressed her feelings
"He will! I do not distrust Him in the least. I have proved Him again and again : does he not give me strength ?” Looking on me with a smile, she added, “Oh, if you felt what I feel, you would long to be in the full enjoyment of God.” When I took
leave of lier for the night, she wished me to pray that God would give her patience; and observed that, being in great pain, she was very much afraid of being impatient. I remarked to her that the Apostle says, He giveth more grace: how much soever we have been indebted to Him, we have not exhausted his goodness.
Dec. 24.In much pain she said, “I hope the Lord will give me patience !-Ah! if I had to seek Him now, how short I should come! It is a time to exercise grace, and not to seek it.”
Dec. 25.---About seven in the evening she became delirious ; but it was easy to discover where her mind was fixed, her eyes being often raised toward heaven, while she whispered something in the way of prayer. About eight o'clock, she was much better, and spoke to me of the love of God in a manner in which I do not recollect to have heard any one speak. Laying her hand upon her heart, she said, “It is Christ that is here! Oh, he hath loved me-He hath loved me with an everlasting love! Oh, how great is His love! it is unfathomable: nay, Angels cannot fathom it! It is unspeakable! Oh, that I could preach it to all!" After expatiating thus on the love of God, and noticing the value of a single soul, she spoke most feelingly of the numbers that are constantly sacrificing themselves in India'; and then said, “If I had a thousand lives, and could spend them all in a day, I would spend them all in that work.”
After taking a little refreshment, all her converse was respecting the love and preciousness of Christ. “The Lord knows that I love Him,” with other expressions of like nature, dropped from her lips, followed with very uncommon bursts of praise and ecstacies of holy joy, through the whole evening. Sometimes she repeated texts of Scripture; and, at others, verses of favourite Hymns; as
Tis Jesus, the first and the last ;
His Spirit will guide us safe bome, &c.-and,
Jesus, lover of my soul !
Let me to thy bosom fly, &c. Dec. 30.-In extreme pain, she said, as near as I could collect, "It will soon be over.” At another time she said, “It is painful; but it will cease before long.” When at any time I asked her the state of her mind, her answer always was: “Very happy." In the afternoon, from great pain she again became uncollected, yet her mind was on Jesus: once I heard her repeat
Thou brightest, sweetest, fairest one,
That eyes have seen or angels known! and they say, “I shall have done with this body of sin : I long to be freemI long to be with Jesus.
Jan. 7. 1824.She was perfectly sensible and evidently dying. I spoke to her on such portions of Scripture' and of such things
as seemed to me suitable; to which she always answered affirmatively. I remarked that Christ was a precious Saviour now, &c. “ Yes,” was her reply. I observed that the morning was very likely to be the morning of eternity to her; at which I supposed she rejoiced, when she bowed her head, meaning “Yes.” She said to her Mother, “I go shouting victory, victory, victory, through the blood of the Lamb!”-After a short prayer with her, she said, “I AM HAPPY NOW, ," which were the last words that she spoke-then she stretched herself out, closed ber eyes, placed her right hand on her breast, and, smiling most sweetly, slept in Jesus about half past twelve on the morning of Jan. 8. 1824, being two months short of completing her thirtieth year. Thus triumphant was the closing scene of my beloved wife's Christian warfare. Oh that my last end may be like hers !
Her death was improved by the Rev. John Mitchell, in her native Parish Church, on Sunday the 25th of January, from 1 Cor. xv. 57, when a very numerous congregation seemed much affected with the account which the Preacher gave, chiefly from his own observation, of the influence of the grace of God on the soul of the deceased.-- American Missionary Register.
(We submit the following remarks without pledging ourselves for their correct. ness. Our readers must judge for themselves. The author has certainly dissented from all the Commentators we have consulted on the passage; and though we do not approve of bold and novel criticisms, especially when made to support a partic. ular tenet susceptible of honest controversy, yet too great a tenacity in adhering to human authority in matters of theology, may be equally deleterious with a rage for novelty. The author's remarks on the absurdity of supposing that Moses prayed for his own eternal destruction, a thing quite impossible, it being contrary to all experience, as well as to that scripture which authorizes the belief that God willeth all men to be saved, will have their deserved weight, as being founded in Truth. EDITORS.)
Communicated for the Methodist Magasine.
EXODUS XXXII. 31, 32. This is one of the most difficult passages in the Holy Scriptures. Some have supposed that Moses here expressed a willingness that himself and
his posterity might never reach the land of promise rather than Israel should fail of it. So by God's book they understand that register of names which had been made under God's direction, in which his own name, and those of his sons were doubtless inserted. But it does not clearly appear that such a register did exist. Some have supposed he prayed that his name might be blotted out of the page of history and his memory
perish should Israel be destroyed. But to this it may be answered, the page of history is not written by God, but by man. Others suppose that he asked God that he might die with them if they should die in the wilderness. But this view seems to express a contempt. of the offer which God had made him, “I will make of thee a great nation.” But some have considered God's book in this passage
the same as the book of life mentioned in Rev. iii. 5: and that to be blotted out of God's book is the same as to be blotted out of the book of life; and that Moses here expresses a willingness, yea a desire, to be damned for the glory of God and the salvation of Israel. They have thus been led to conclude that a man must be willing to be damned for the glory of God or he cannot be saved. But this supposition is highly absurd, and the passage,
if carefully examined, will afford it no support.
This notion that a man must be willing to be damned for the glory of God or he cannot be saved is highly absurd; for 1st. it supposes a desire of God's favour to be an unpardonable offence, and a contempt of it to be a recommendation to his regard. 2dly. That God will banish those from his presence who long for it; and bring those to dwell in it who desire it not. 3dly. It requires a man to be willing to that which God himself is not willing; for it intimates that the moment he becomes willing to be damned he becomes the child of God; but can it be supposed that God is willing that a child of his should be damned! And 4thly. It supposes that a man must be willing to have his love to God turned into everlasting hatred, and his songs of praise turned into horrid blasphemies to all eternity!
God cannot require any of his creatures to be willing to be damned; nor could any of God's creatures comply with such a requirement. It would be to require his creatures to sin against him, to hate him, and to eternally blaspheme his holy name. It would require them to divest themselves of the involuntary and inherent desire of every human soul, viz. a desire of happiness; to be willing to dwell in everlasting burnings. Now it is impossible for any rational being to be willing to this. And to say that a child of God must be willing to be damned is to subvert every just idea of true religion.
But how are we to understand Moses' prayer to be blotted out of God's book which he had written? If we attend carefully to the passage and the occasion upon which it was uttered, we shall find no reason to believe that Moses designed to imprecate any evil whatever on himself or his family; for no sacrifice which he could make or suffering which he could endure, could have atoned for the guilt of Israel. Besides, to imprecate divine judgments when one is not called to be an atoning sacrifice (and none has been but Jesus Christ) is expressive of petulance and presumption rather than piety.