FAMILY MEMOIRS. 23 of proud spirit from appearing pale before the scaffold of the morrow, they involuntarily burst into a loud and frightful fit of laughter: a nervous electricity triumphed for one moment over the bitterest anguish of the soul. The effort they had so long made to conceal from each other their feelings, had irritated the fibres of the brain: they were thus suddenly overcome by a sense of the ridiculous, the only emotion doubtless for which they were unprepared; and in spite of their efforts, or rather in consequence of their efforts to remain calm, their laughter became inordinate, and speedily degenerated into frightful spasms. The guards, whose revolutionary experience had enlightened them on the nature of this phenomenon, had pity on my mother greater pity than, on a similar occasion, four years before, the less experienced populace of Paris had for the daughter of M. Berthier. The unhappy wife was carried away in convulsions: such was the last interview of this young couple, and such were the recitals that nursed my infancy. My mother had commanded these subjects never to be named to me, but the common people love to recount the catastrophes they have survived. The servants scarcely spoke to me of any thing but the misfortunes of my parents; and never shall I forget the consequent impression of terror which I experienced in my earliest intercourse with the world. My first sentiment was that of a fear of life, a sentiment which must be more or less participated in by all for all have their measure of woes to fill up. It was doubtless this sentiment which taught me to comprehend the Christian religion, before even I had been instructed in it. I felt from my infancy that my lot had been cast in a place of exile. 24 FAMILY MEMOIRS. To return to my father: - After he had regained his composure, he occupied himself with preparing for the stern trial that impended, and towards morning wrote to his wife a letter admirable for the fortitude which it displays. It has been preserved in the Memoirs of the Times, together with that of my grandfather's to this same son; whose death is to be attributed, first, to à sense of duty, which would not permit him to remain a refugee at the Court of Berlin; secondly, to the part he took in the defence of his parent; and, thirdly, to his refusal to save himself at the risk of the life of a young and unknown female. If his enemies could not speak of his memory without respect, what must have been the sentiments of his friends! M. Girard, his old tutor, preserved for him the tenderest affection. On being suddenly apprised of his fate, he was seized with an apoplectic fit, and died almost immediately. My father had a simplicity of manners and a modesty which disarmed envy, at a time when it reigned without control, and which account for the admiration his merits inspired. He must doubtless have thought more than once during his last night, of the predictions of his friends at Berlin; but I do not believe that he even then repented of the part he had taken. He was one of those with whom life, however bright its hopes, appears little compared with the testimony of a pure conscience. That land is not to be despaired of which produces men in whose hearts the sense of duty is stronger than the sentiments of affection. MADAME DE CUSTINE. 25 CHAP. III. CONTINUATION OF THE LIFE OF MADAME DE CUSTINE. HER ARREST.- PROVIDENTIAL CONCEALMENT OF HER PAPERS. DEVOTION OF NANETTE. SCENE AT THE TOMB OF MARAT.MADAME DE BEAUHARNAIS IN PRISON. - ANECDOTES OF PRISON LIFE. INTERROGATION OF MADAME DE CUSTINE. INSPIRES ONE OF HER JUDGES WITH THE DESIRE OF SAVING HER. THE MEANS WHICH HE USES DURING SIX MONTHS TO RETARD HER EXECUTION. END OF THE REIGN OF TERROR. CHARACTER OF ROBESPIERRE. THE PRISONS AFTER HIS FALL. PETITION OF NANETTE.EXTRAORDINARY DELIVERANCE OF MADAME DE CUSSICKNESS AND POVERTY. TINE. -RETURNS TO HER HOUSE. As I have begun to relate the misfortunes of my family, I will finish the recital. Perhaps this episode of our revolution, as recounted by the son of two individuals who performed conspicuous parts in it, will not be found altogether without interest. My mother having lost all that could attach her to her country, had now no duty to perform but that of saving her life, and watching over the welfare of her child. Her situation was, in fact, much worse than that of the other French fugitives. Our name, tainted with Liberalism, was as odious to the aristocrats of that period as to the Jacobins. The prejudiced and intolerant partisans of the old régime, could as little 26 MADAME DE CUSTINE forgive my parents for the part they had taken at the commencement of the revolution, as could the Terrorists for the moderation of their republican patriotism. The Girondists, who were the Doctrinaires of this era, would have defended the cause of my father; but that party was annihilated, or had, at least, disappeared since the triumph of Robespierre. My mother, therefore, found herself in a more isolated position than most of the Jacobin victims. Having devotedly embraced the opinions of her husband, she had been obliged to renounce the society in which her life had been passed, and she had not sought entrance into any other. The remains of those circles which had constituted the world of that period -the world, that is to say, of the Faubourg Saint Germain-were not propitiated by our misfortunes; and high aristocrats had well nigh come forth from their hiding-places to join in the chorus of the Marsellaise, when they heard cried in the streets the condemnation of the traitor Custine. The moderate reform party—the men whose love of France exists independently of the form of government adopted by the French-this party, which is now a nation, was not then represented in the country. My father died a martyr in the cause of that unborn nation; and my mother, when only twenty-two years old, had to undergo all the fatal consequences of her husband's virtue a virtue too lofty to be appreciated by men who could not understand its motives. The energetic moderation of my father was ill understood by his cotemporaries, and his wronged memory attached to the person of his wife, and followed her even to the tomb. Identified CONCEALING HER PAPERS. 27 with a name which, in the midst of a world torn by conflicting passions, represented the principle of impartiality, she was abandoned by all parties. Others had the consolation of mourning over their wrongs in company, my mother could only weep alone! Soon after the catastrophe which rendered her a widow, she became aware of the necessity of leaving France. This, however, required a passport, which it was very difficult to obtain. By means of money she procured a false one, under the name of a dealer in lace about to visit Belgium. It was arranged that my nurse, a faithful servant of our family in Lorraine, and who had brought me to Paris, should proceed with me by way of Alsace to Pyrmont in Westphalia, where we were to meet my mother, and from thence journey together to Berlin, in which city she expected to join her own mother and her brother also. To no other servant but the nurse herself was this plan confided. All preliminary arrangements having been made, Nanette departed with me for the office of the Strasburg diligence, leaving my mother, who was to set out immediately after us on her journey to Flanders, at her lodging in the Rue de Bourbon. She was employing the last minutes that were to precede her departure, in her cabinet, assorting papers and burning such as might compromise others; for among these papers were letters from officers in the army, and from parties already suspected of being aristocrats, of a character that would have sufficed to bring to the guillotine, in four and twenty hours, herself and fifty other individuals. Seated on a large sofa near to the fire-place, she was busy burning the most dangerous letters, and |