fictitious names, of aristocratic sound, like De Forrest, Montmorency, and the like. Some of them strive to excite the manager's pity; one is a "poor orphan," and pines for sympathy and encouragement; another is fading under the blight of a stepmother's cruelty, &c. One young man, whose early education has evidently been neglected, sends a half-page of scrawl, in which he sets forth his histrionic experience in a local dramatic club, and encloses his tin-type, so that his physical advantage may have due weight with the manager. The picture represents a man of thirty-odd, fully six feet high, and weighing about 190 pounds, his face composed to a meant-to-be-dignified, but actually silly expression, and his right hand extended across his ample breast, clasping a roll of manuscript. All the writers beg for an immediate answer, and not a few seem to assume that the manager will jump at the chance of securing their services. One girl of sixteen sends the following:

DEAR SIR-You Will Pardon the Presumption of an Inexperienced young girl in thus Addressing you But Sir What I Wish to Say to you is this, I have Become Completely Infatuated With the desire to become and Acttress and Sir, thinking your Experiance would give me an Answer I have applyed to you I Would Not Wish to Be Connected with the Ballet troupe, But assume the Charicter at first of Page or some Lover in Connection with Some Comedy or farce. I flatter Myself I am Very well Read and have A Very good Memory Witch I Presume is Requisite, for A New Beginner Now Sir I Shall Expect a Reply to this at the Earleyest opportunity and Direct to

P. S.-Discription-Highth, four feet five inches light Auburn hair Blue Eyes and Some Say good looking age Sixteen Summers-Answer Soon.

A young gentleman, in Springfield, Massachusets, evidently expects to be engaged at once:

DEAR SIR-Thinking of adopting the Profession of an actor i take this meathord of assertaining if you would wish to receive eney new men i

UNIT

OF
CH

SUPERB SELF-CONCEIT.

165

should wish to enter as a walking Gentleman if this meets with your approvel pleas address and oblige

HARRY

PS) pleas state the salery that you give to new Hands and all the partickulars if yoo can reletive to a new beginner.

A girl who is "smart," and knows it, writes from Fitchburg:

I now write to see if you do not wish for two smart girls to act upon the stage. I am A good speker and am not afraid to speeke before ten thousands. I can tell you we are real smart girls and are good looking and we would like to come first rate and can raise ned and keep folks A laughing besides put on A long face that would reach from here to Boston and we could be as sober as noah when he went into the ark in the time of the flood just sey come and tell us where and we will be there and I will now say that our names are soon and drect it to Fitchburg-good evening.

and

plese write

A young Bostonian expresses his sentiments at length, with various personal remarks, as follows:

SIR-I hope you will please excuse me for thus addressing you in a manner so abrupt and intruding upon common politeness. But Sir the emotions and impulses that prompt me to pen these thoughts to you would consider that any formal rules or services were mere secondary and not primitive in a case like this. (A few introductory remarks if you please Sir before we come to the subject) It should be the aim of every human being (as we are stepping upon the threshold of manhood or womanhood and see before us the great arena of life diversified with hills and mountains of misfortune and adversity and also interspersed with plains and valleys of fortune and prosperity and the many paths some smooth and more rough that lead and tend in different ways) to try and find such a path among the many that we could do bonor to. One that would be coincidence with our nature and thought or as we are preparing our ship of human existence to sail over the sea of life, we should go as the inward chart of human nature would guide us if we want to arrive on the bright shore of success. How many of us are nuisances to ourselves and to humanity by not following out our natural feeling we do not know. But undoubtedly there are a good many. Now Sir, I think I was inwardly made for a stage actor. Don't think but know that I was, I have often had it said to me that I had ought to go on the stage, and I am bound to go. I am a young man 17 years old, and am fast verging on to the day when 18 years will have rolled over my head, and

166

UNCONSCIOUS NUISANCES.

it is now time I should commence if ever. I always make a. practice of committing to memory a certain amount of poetry or prose, and can commit it very easy. I have an Aunt in the city that keeps three boardinghouses and with her I live. Excuse me, sir, for thus relating to you my pedigree but thought that you would want to know something about me. I have not been from school a great while, and that is the reason I want to commence know, when my mind is active. I take the liberty to write this to you to see if you had any chance at the or should have soon

when you could afford to pay me fair wages. If Sir you would like to know any more about me I would be happy to give it verbally or through letters, Most any time verbally from 3 to 5. Yours, truly,

A man in Haverhill desires to secure a star engagement for a performer evidently fitted by nature to shine in the sensational drama:

SIR-I have got a pig that has got 5 legs I dont think there ever was one like him before I have had old men here to see him that say thay never see such a sight before they advise me to send to you and see if you would like him he waighs about one hundred and 25 pounds I send this by express and if you would like it I should like to have you write as soon as you get this.

In former days I knew a young man, belonging to an excellent pious family in Philadelphia, who had reared their son in the most careful manner, only to see him unhappy, restless, discontented.

What was the matter? It soon came out, he was stage-struck. Prayers, commands, remonstrances, were alike unavailing. His mind was made up-he would be

an actor.

He appeared, under an assumed name, at the Chestnut Street Theatre. He made a favorable impression at once. He was good-looking, well-dressed, and had gentlemanly

manners.

These qualifications were quite sufficient to make him entirely successful in the "Dear Fredericks" and "Darling Henrys "-lovers' parts of small calibre-in which he first appeared.