power to live on an estate near any residence of Mr. Cressingham's. I was therefore compelled to relinquish to strangers the home of my fathers, and am ashamed to say, that from the hour I did so, it became inexpressibly dear and precious to me. I thought of it as the birthplace of all my natural connexions living or dead, and as the grave of all who were or could be related to me, as my own last home too, though in life I could never approach it. The days of my childhood came back to my memory with a vividness and force which they had never before put on. I mused on the scenes in which they were passed, till events, well nigh forgotten, stood out, as so many present realities-one in particular, and which I cannot permit myself to pass over in silence. I had once a sister, whose death had happened when I was about nine years of age. I had loved her fondly then, but her image had for many years faded from my memory without being once recalled. Strange to say, though provided with so many deeply absorbing subjects both for thought and memory, all her graceful movements and childlike frolics rushed back upon my remembrances, and she was again to me for a time as a living being. I remembered the wild flowers that she had more especially loved, and the crimson spots at the bottom o' the cowslip' had for me, Hamond, a dearer association than even the name of Shakspeare. Yes, in the willingness to lose all thought of myself, I have eagerly grasped at the slightest thing that brought back her image to my fancy, and mused upon her as she was, and imagined what she would have been, till I so far forgot that death had snatched her from me, as to lay down schemes for her earthly happiness. "Strange and inexplicable delusion! I can understand why we should soar into the future for ourselves or others, and forestall our destiny, or imagine one too perfect to be realized-but, so thoroughly to descend into the past, that the soul should seem to take its station on some by-gone point of time, as if it were the real now, and image scenes of enjoyment for a being long since removed, seems too wild, too chimerical for any thing short of insanity of mind. Yet, in such reveries have I been often plunged, my dear Hamond; and at the sad waking from these delusive dreams, more delusive than those of sleep, if I have for one moment regretted that this dear girl was no more, I have the next been compelled to rejoice in her death; for would she not, must she not, have blushed and been miserable for me? -This is indeed a digression, but, I hope, not a useless one. My dear son! let it impress on your mind this incontrovertible fact, that immoral deeds not only cast a baleful shade on all that is to come, but they imbitter the recollection of all that went before. When all beauty is banished from the past, and the voice of hope is silent, it is sad indeed for the murmurs of memory to be alike painful to the conscience and to the heart." CHAPTER XII. -Words of truth Come to the self-condemn'd in heart, MR. LANGHAM'S MS. CONTINUED. "YOUR mother's wish for retirement was more than equal to my own. With her, indeed, all desire of obtaining a footing in society had expired long before she was convinced of the impossibility we were attempting in seeking one. My change of name, in one or two instances, proved of temporary service to us, but no more; and we were so often slighted where we had been received at first with cordiality, that I cannot wonder at the sincere rejoicings of Mrs. Langham, when I at length resolved to seclude myself entirely from the world. "It was a trifling circumstance which led to this determination on my part, but one that makes my cheek crimson yet, to think of. Your mother one day held out her hand to greet a lady of her acquaintance, who, since she had last seen her, had learned her history: the lady-(is it not a profanation of the word ?) put both her hands behind her; yet, your poor mother always generously dreaded rebuffs more on my account, than on her own. "We neither of us regretted society for ourselves, and, during the nursery-days of our children, we could not re gret it for them. But the period of infancy passed rapidly away, and we were obliged to commence some settled plan of education. I decided on a public school for you, my boy; and because the family which I most ardently wished my girls to resemble had been brought up at home, I engaged an intelligent governess, with whose aid, and that of efficient masters, I proposed making them treasures of moral and intellectual worth. I have, I fondly believe, been eminently successful in the end I proposed, but I was destined to be disappointed in the means by which I wished to effect it. Miss Leonard, the name of the lady I had engaged as governess to my daughters, I have said, was intelligent,—she was more, she had that fearless integrity with regard to the charge she had undertaken, without which, no degree of talent can be of much avail, and with which, the smallest portion will effect wonders. We did not hang her half-way between ourselves and our servants, but really did what is so often professed and so seldom performed-we treated her as if her fortune and position in society had been equal to our own originally. We thus became acquainted with and attached to her, and she, I am convinced, loved us, and was most grateful to us. "She was accustomed to exercise her pupils' minds on most subjects, and to elicit important instruction, apparently from the most trifling. There was an energy in her manner, an animation in her applause, and so much eloquent fire in her indignation, that her youthful hearers, while gazing on and listening to her, seemed to receive conviction into their very souls. It was only on rare occasions that moral lessons were required to be thus imparted, and then she was careful to deduce them only from subjects of vital and palpable importance. The want of truth or honour, and such instances of selfishness as were best adapted to create abhorrence in a young and ardent mind, were points upon which she dwelt with peculiar force. Such was Miss Leonard's mode of fixing, or rather implanting, the 'generous purpose' and singleness of intention in the breast of youth. I was more delighted with her methods and her mind than I can express; but she had one fault, Hamond, that could not be forgiven-she was ignorant of the peeuliar situation of your mother and myself. I did not know this, and unfortunately the conversation one day turned, in the presence of Miss Leonard and her pupils, on conduct so similar to our own, that it was by no means extraordinary it should call forth remarks from her, painful and distressing to us. The unfortunate woman, whose name was now be fore the public, had formerly been known to Miss Leonard, and she mentioned the case as one of peculiar aggravation, her parents having been guiltless of a wish except for securing the happiness of their child. And now, she said, she returns to those parents covered with shame that cannot end, a reproach and blot upon their nature,-a pain and punishment to their hearts! "Neither Mrs. Langham nor I attempted to speak; but Matilda, whose compassion was strongly excited, asked with her usual straight-forward simplicity, if by becoming very, very good, Lady Anne might not put an end to her shame, and make her parents once more happy? "In this world, my dear little girl, never!' replied Miss Leonard, as she placed Matilda on her knee. 'It is sad to think of, but it is nevertheless true. You are too young to understand the nature of Lady Anne's fault, and cannot therefore judge if the world is right or wrong in condemning her. But one part of it you can now understand, and of this you may now judge, Matilda,-she has deserted five young children.' "Like the ostrich,' said her auditor, of which I learned this morning.' - "Too like, indeed, my child: few comparisons are better, the ostrich! which, to use the words of Scripture, leaveth her eggs in the earth, and warmeth them in the dust, and forgetteth that the foot may crush them, or that the wild beast may break them, for she hardeneth her heart against her young ones, as though they were not hers.' "This was not to be borne. Mrs. Langham was entirely overcome; and Miss Leonard, unsuspicious of the application that had been made of her words, with active kindness and much presence of mind endeavoured to restore her. I however felt that to be alone was the restorative most needful to both, and I requested her for a time to retire with her pupils to her own apartment. "I hoped to have convinced your mother that the words. spoken by Miss Leonard were purely accidental; but all I could say was in vain,-she was firmly resolved never to see VOL. I.-4 Miss Leonard again. I could not urge it. Against my judgment, against every feeling of justice and gratitude, and of anxiety for the welfare of my children, I parted with this excellent and right-minded woman." CHAPTER XIII. There is a power upon me which withholds, If it be life to wear within myself MR. LANGHAM'S MS. CONTINUED. "In order to avoid the recurrence of a circumstance so disagreeable, I resolved that Miss Leonard's successor should not come to us in ignorance of our history. But let no man imagine that by any degree of forethought or prudence he can prevent or parry the slings and arrows' to which any peculiarity of destiny exposes him. Some evils may be ill endured, but they cannot be avoided; and the will of man is made sorely to feel its own want of power, when it determines on escaping from their thraldom. How often have I resolved and reresolved, but again and again to be humbled, —how often have I prepared my mind and heart (as I have thought) for every possible contingency, only to feel the more acutely the first breath of censure that the least significant of human beings durst utter ! 66 "I have again wandered, though, as you will see, not from my subject, but in consequence of it. Miss Leonard's successor was in all things her reverse: she had acquired a certain quantity of knowledge, and had a competent share of accomplishment; yet mind she had none, or, if any, it was of the most vulgar description: delicacy and consideration for others were not at least among its attributes, for she made us feel hourly that she exulted over us. I tried |