God preferved my fpirit, when his glory was fresh in me, and when the dew lay all night upon my branch;" and wept, fighed, whined, and fobbed, after the milk and honey. But the Holy Spirit, at fuch times, would produce fubmiffion and refignation in me to the will of God, and suggest to my mind that, when I had finished my course, I fhould have my heart full of that fweet fare, and that for evermore; which made me long for death. At these times" I have behaved and quieted myself as a child that is weaned of his mother: my foul was even as a weaned child." Pfalm cxxxi. 2. About that period I was working in the coal barge, and fuffering hunger, cold, and almoft nakedness; befides the conflicts within, perfecutions without, and the lofs of that which to me was dearer than life. It pleafed God to pity and vifit me again. I had an old lumber-room, where I often withdrew when my burden was too heavy for me to bear; and as fure as I entered that place, fo fure did the Lord of all lords vifit me. He would "come down as rain upon the mown grafs, and as fhowers that water the earth;" till I could compare it to nothing but what I had read of entering into the holy of holies, when" the glory of the Lord had filled the house of the Lord." O what condefcenfion for the Moft High to humble himself to take notice of fuch worms of the duft!

After

After many of these foul-reviving and foulestablishing visits, those trials, which are peculiar to the miniftry, came on, attended with legal bondage, and various temptations and oppofitions; and befet I was with every class of heretics, till I went, like the woman the Saviour healed, bowed together for several years; till, what with trouble, real want, and hard labour, I was at the brink of the grave, and longed for it; but it came not. At length it pleased God to renew my youth like the eagle's; and he supplied me with temporal neceffaries, equipped me with truth and fortitude, and gave me a great defire to be useful; and he foon let me fee that I did not labour in vain. And now this became my food; it was my meat and drink to do his will, and to fee his work profper. And this led me to walk steady with my God in peace and equity; and, having obtained help from him, I continue to this day. Thus, Delilah like, your three fucceeding epiftles have drawn the fecret out of my heart. And, after all, what is it? Why, divine power lodged in a lock of human hair; or, to speak in New Teftament language, it is God's ftrength made perfect in man's weakness. Adieu. I must attend the household; but cannot help fubfcribing myself

The Defert.

Ever yours,

NOCTUA AURITA.

LETTER

LETTER XVI.

T. NOCTUA AURITA, in the Defert.

I RECEIVED fafe your very valuable epiftle; and I hope you will excufe my not acknowledging the receipt of it before this time. I affure you it has not been for want of inclination, but want of time. My hands have been fully employed in nurfing, which hath been to me a fore trial. The Lord, has vifited my dear little boy with a diforder which we feared would prove fatal. And under this trial the Canaanites, which are left in the land to be as thorns in my fide, made me feverely feel their power, affifted by Satan their ally, who appeared at their head, and who made fuch an inroad upon me as greatly dif heart quieted my fpirits. The rebellion of my was ftirred up, and hard thoughts of God followed. I could not give up the child; and Satan fuggefted fuch things to my mind concerning the eternal state of the boy, fhould he die under the curfe of God's righteous law, as I believe I never shall let come out of the doors of my lips. But I affure you they were fuch as rent the caul of my heart; and, though I could not give the child

up, yet I trembled at the thoughts of afking for his life. I was preffed beyond measure. I could only fay to the Lord, "Thou knoweft my heart, what I am by nature; and that nothing but thefe rank weeds will ever be produced by me, unless thou art pleased, by the operations of thy Spirit, to work in me that fubmiffion and refignation to thy will which fhall glorify thee." The Lord appeared for the child, and hath restored him to us again. But fubmiffion and refignation were not found in my heart. His Excellency sent me your epiftle, which you directed to be left with him, with the following direction on it: "To her Majesty the Queen of the Beggars, value a thoufand pounds." But, when I had read the contents, I was constrained to enhance the value; for I found the price of it to be far above rubies. I thank you kindly for it. I thought of an old proverb, viz. "To be fore-warned is to be forearmed."

I think there can but little befall me in the path of tribulation but what you have fhewed me already. You seem to intimate that you think I may be a stumbling-block to those whose joys do not rise so high as God is pleased to raise mine. Indeed, it is true that fome envy me, and fome are filled with jealoufy. But envy and jealousy seem to me to be two different things. Where the latter is working, I believe it will be a means, under God, of bringing the fame bleffings into their 6

fouls.

fouls. Thefe will not rejoice when I am brought low, but will be the firft that will help me, by their prayers, that I may be raised up again. But where envy works, nothing would gratify these more than to fee me down. But this is like to bring nothing into their own fouls. To the former I feel my whole heart and foul going out; but to the latter I cannot find a union.

put far from me,

Something in your letter quite furprised me, and that is, to think that, after you had been led in such a sweet path for ten months, and under fuch manifestations of divine love, you fhould again be brought into fuch darkness as to doubt of the work on your foul being real. Had you not related it as experienced by yourself, I should have staggered at it. But, if God has dealt fo with you, I fear I fhall not escape. But it is fuch an evil day as I would wish to Should fuch a time ever come, I think I fhall find your epistle to be of great ufe to me. But I should never have thought there was a probability of any thing like it befalling me. To be fure at present my mountain seems to stand strong; the place of my defence is the Munition of Rocks; and God is truly gracious to me; for I have not had one day of real darkness in my own foul fince the time we all met at Gaffon's Bower, where the Lord met me by the way, as he did the difciples in their journey to Emmaus. I faw his Excellency yesterday. We are reaping the fruits of his