men. On these accounts I trembled for his salvation, and did not feel that gratitude for the blessing vouchsafed me which I ought. I suspect I greatly displeased God by my distrust of his goodness, and that he saw it meet to adopt this method of chastising me. May it be sanctified as a means of making me humble, heavenly, and submissive. It is a very solemn consideration, that a part of myself is in eternity; in the presence, I trust, of the Saviour. How awful will it be, should the branch be saved and the stock perish! Pray for me, my dear friend, that this may not be the case; but that I may be truly sanctified, and permitted to walk in the fear of the Lord, and in the consolations of the Holy Ghost. Mrs. Hall has been very ill, occasioned in a good measure by the shock she has received, but is better. She is looking forward, with considerable anxiety, to her confinement, which she expects in less than three months. She is so extremely weak and delicate, that I have very painful apprehensions respecting the issue. My wish and endeavour is to leave her, myself, and my dear children, in the hands of God. But how difficult it is to do so! Let me, once more, entreat an interest in your prayers. XLI. TO THE REV. W. BUTTON. My dear Sir, Leicester, Feb. 3, 1815. I am much concerned to hear of your disorder in your eyes it is, indeed, a great affliction, and demands the exercise of much submission to the wise Disposer of all events. I am afraid it has had, and will have, a great effect in depressing your spirits. Remember, my dear brother, the Lord means to do you good by all his several dispensations. He has already given you his Son; and how "shall he not with him freely give you all things?" He has conferred upon you spiritual discernment and heavenly light: how infinitely more important than the "light of the body," which in all eyes must soon be darkened! I hope, however, if it is a cataract, you may get relief; that is a disease which, I understand, has frequently been cured. Say, then, my dear friend, with David, "Why art thou thus disquieted within me? I shall yet praise him who is the health of my countenance, and my God." It will be, and has been, my habitual prayer that you may be strengthened, comforted, and relieved. With respect to the reviewing Mr. -'s sermon, I must be excused. I have entirely done with reviewing: it is an occupation, of all others, I dislike, and shall entirely give it up. If you wish me to publish, you should never wish me to review; for you are not aware what a serious interruption it is. I compose very slowly; and what I have written in the Review has been a very great interruption. I have read Mr.'s sermon with much pleasure; it is judicious, serious, and affecting: but I am well aware how extravagantly his friends at have always overrated his talents; and were I to review, and express myself in such terms only as the occasion would justify, I should mortify, instead of gratify. In truth, reviewing at the request of particular friends is a snare for the conscience. I never wished any person to review for me. XLII. TO THE REV. DR. FLETCHER OF BLACKBURN, NOW OF STEPNEY. Dear Sir, Leicester, Feb. 21, 1815, I duly received the five-pound bill which your friend has been so kind as to appropriate to the Baptist Mission. He may depend upon its being faithfully applied to the purpose for which it is intended; and you will be so good as to thank him in my name for it. I most sincerely beg your pardon for not having replied to your kind letter: the truth is, not sitting down to reply to it immediately, the impression I had upon my mind afterward was, that you did not wish or expect me to reply. I recollected only that it contained a pretty pressing remonstrance with me for not publishing more; a subject on which I have often been urged, much to my concern and vexation. It pains me, my dear sir, to be condemned and reproached upon a subject which is sometimes a source of more internal uneasiness than is generally supposed. I am far from being satisfied with my own conduct in this particular, but know not how to remedy it. It is not indolence, I can truly say, which prevents me; but a certain fastidiousness and difficulty of being pleased, which really rises to the magnitude of a mental disease. I feel myself, in all my performances, so short of that standard which I have formed in my own mind, that I can truly say I contemplate my little productions with a kind of horror. If I could dismiss this feeling, I should much oftener try the patience of the public. That what I have written meets with your approbation cannot fail to encourage me; it is "laudari a viro laudato:" but permit me to express my surprise that you should express yourself in terms so extremely disproportioned to my merits. I shall be happy to hear from you, whenever you are disposed to write; and remain, Dear Sir, with high esteem, Your affectionate Friend, XLIII. TO THE REV. DR. FLETCHER. Dear Sir, Leicester, May 26, 1815. With respect to Mr. Fuller's last moments, I have very little to communicate, His complaint was of a nature that left him very little opportunity of conversing with ease and composure. He was oppressed with a prodigious load of corporeal misery. He said, I believe, more than once, "All misery centres in me, and I cannot die." In a letter he dictated to Dr. Ryland a few days before his death, he expressed himself thus:-"My state of mind is, in one word, this; no despondency, no raptures." He said to his friends, he felt that trust in Christ, that he could plunge into eternity. He was a prodigious sufferer during his last illness. He said to Dr. Ryland, "I have written much, and said much, against the abuse of the doctrine of grace; but that doctrine is all my support in the prospect of eternity. I have no hope of being saved, but through the free sovereign grace of God, flowing through the atonement of Christ." I recollect nothing very particular respecting his first introduction into the ministry. Dr. Ryland will, I believe, compile a pretty extensive memoir of him. He has been strongly urged so to do. He was in many respects the most memorable man it has ever been my happiness to know; and his loss will be deplored as irreparable. He possessed good sense in a more perfect degree than any person I ever knew, embraced every object with a clearness, facility, and precision almost peculiar to himself. He certainly possessed genius in a very high degree; but it was more a modification of intellect than a vigour of imagination; though in the latter faculty he was not defective. I loved and esteemed him more than I can express; and how his loss can be supplied in the mission I am at an utter loss to conjecture. But God is all-sufficient. Let me entreat your prayers to God that he would provide. I feel much gratified at your intention of improving the death of our most lamented and venerable friend. Wishing you much of the blessing of God in your important engagements, and begging to be remembered to Mrs. F., though unknown, I remain, dear Sir, Your affectionate Friend and Brother, XLIV. TO DR. RYLAND. Leicester, June 17, 1815. My dear Brother, I am sorry you should continue to importune me about that wretched oration, which it is my unalterable resolution never to print. It was not fit to be delivered, much less to be presented from the press. I may be mistaken: but I always conceive that it is a respect due to the public, whenever we appear before them, to do our best; and not to put them off with the weakly or more deformed part of our intellectual progeny. I laboured under an extreme depression of spirits; I was perplexed, between an imperfect written composition, a sort of funeral sermon delivered the last Sunday, and an attempt at extempore speaking. It would neither be respectful to Mr. Fuller nor to the public, nor justice to myself, to publish such a wretched piece of inanity. In delivering the oration at all, I performed a service for which scarce any money would have bribed me; but to have the publication of it demanded, under pain of the displeasure of Mr. Fuller's friends, is intrenching rather too much upon the independence of private judgment. Do not understand me, my dear sir, as at all displeased with you for urging the matter: I am speaking only upon the supposition that Mr. Fuller's family or friends demand the publication. As you have intimated a willingness to publish memoirs, I would strongly recommend publishing neither the sermon nor the oration. They are utterly unnecessary if the memoirs are published; not only so, but they would stand in each other's way. When a biography is promised, it is not, I think, usual for the same person to publish a funeral sermon previously. It is slaking the public curiosity prematurely. If you persist in your intention of publishing memoirs, I should feel no objection to taking an opportunity of testifying my profound esteem and friendship for dear Mr. Fuller, in some form which you may deem most eligible; but let me, my dear sir, hear no more of the oration. My resolution is unalterable upon that subject. As far as my acquaintance with sober Calvinists extends, they do not object to the doctrine of disinterested love, so much as to the naked and abstracted form in which some of the American divines have presented it. A portion of love to God, resulting from a spiritual perception of his intrinsic beauty, enters, I have no doubt, into the essence of true religion; but some of the Americans have given a prominence to this subject, as appears to me, beyond what exists in Scripture. My work on mixed communion will be out, I trust, in about a fortnight. It is written, I hope, in a Christian spirit, and is calculated to do good rather than harm. I am most perfectly convinced that the Baptist sentiments will never prevail upon the opposite system. My sincere wish is, that truth and candour may be promoted in the church. I remain, Your affectionate Brother, ROBERT HALL. Dear Sir, XLV. TO MR. JOSIAH CONDER. Leicester, Sept. 1815. I owe you many apologies for not sooner noticing the letter you were so good as to address to me a considerable time since. The only reason I can plead for my silence is, the pain it necessarily gives me to put a negative upon wishes warmly and, as I believe, sincerely expressed. After having so frequently stated my repugnance to writing reviews, I feel myself at an utter loss to express the same sentiment in terms more strong or more efficacious. There is no kind of literary exertion to which I have an equal aversion, by many degrees; and, were such things determined by choice, it is my deliberate opinion I should prefer going out of the world by any tolerable mode of death, rather than incur the necessity of writing three or four articles in a year. I must therefore beg and entreat I may not be urged again upon a subject so ineffably repugnant to all the sentiments of my heart. From what I have seen of the recent execution of the work especially, I am convinced my assistance is not in the least needed. It is, I believe, growing daily in reputation, and I hope in circulation; and I have no doubt but that, under your skilful management, and that of your coadjutors, its reputation will not only be sustained, but will be sufficient to engage far superior assistance to mine. I admire the Bible Society inexpressibly but how is it possible to say any thing in its praise or vindication, which has not been said a thousand times; or where would be the safety of depicting in their true colours, the character and conduct of that whited sepulchre? Besides, let me add, my dear sir, that my other engagements are such, that the business of reviewing is incompatible with them, unless I were to form the resolution of having nothing to do with the press, or others for me. I feel myself much honoured by the expression of your kind regard, and beg leave to assure you that I am, with the truest esteem, Your sincere Friend, And obedient Servant, |
