vity in Bengal,) form the total of the whole, as Dr Hume hath it, of the domestic life of a Calcutta writer. While these gentlemen are amusing themselves as best they may, with eulogiums on their steeds, complaints against Dr Lumsden for not allowing them to quit college before they have learned any thing they have been sent there to learn; ; admirin admiring drawings, or rather daubs of horses and dogs by a Hindoo Stubbs, and French prints of a less innocent nature, I shall endeavour to give you the natural history of the animal called a writer. Writers are the sons of families in the higher and middle ranks of life, who have interest sufficient to procure them their appointment, and in this interest consists their great, if not sole qualification, as they take their station among their brethren of the same year, according to the seniority of the director by whose patronage they were placed there; and no inattention or misconduct, short of what is sufficient to remove them entirely, can depress them one step in the books of the service; and conversely, no ability, however splendid, no assiduity, however unwearied, no cond conduct, however irreproachable, can raise them in the comparative scale in which they are unalterably fixed. After spending a year or two at a catch-penny school, which they dignify with the title of a college, and learning not enough of Hindoostanee to hold the commonest conversation in thatlanguage, they are shipped off for the higher college of Calcutta, with this animating assurance, that they have only to behave themselves tolerably, and live long enough to arrive at the highest offices in the Honourable Company's service. A voyage of half-a-year's duration, spent in total idleness, and under no superintendance or control, to a young man, emancipated for the first time from discipline, and the salutary awe inspired by a consciousness of being in some degree under the eye of his parents and guar guardians, with a prospect of pleasure uncontrolled by any of the checks that thwarted them at home, forms the most appropriate prelude for their life in India. There the languor induced by the climate, and the want of incitement to industry, soon inclines them to indolence; and the example of their superiors, and appro bation of their equals, confirm this dis position into a habit. Add to all this, an unlimited command of moneythe opinions of society forming no check upon the indulgence of the passions-the total want of religion as a guide of moral conduct; for in India it either falls off into apathy and scepticism on the one hand, or assumes the form of the most disgusting bigotry and fanaticism on the other; and the wonder will be, not that they are thoughtless and dissipated, but that they are not wholly profligate and worthless. Yet such is the power of early instruction, that I must do them the justice to say, that though prudence and propriety are rarely to be found in the list of their virtues, I have never known or heard of a single instance of one of them being guilty of a mean, dishonourable, or ungentleman-like action. Could the honourable Court of Directors be brought to lay these truths to heart - could they be brought to sacrifice the interests of the few blockheads the service contains to the general good of the whole-could they be got to forego the unenviable prerogative of making dulness and stupidity supersede genius and intellect, and make rank and emolument the certain reward of conduct, abilities, and application, there can be no doubt that they would make the civil service of India, excellent as the materials are they have to work upon, equal to any body of men on the face of the earth. When tiffin was announced, an immediate change took place in the visages of my friends, from languor and ennui to life and gaiety. It is not to be supposed that they were particularly hungry, but any one who has been so long at sea as I have, must know that eating supplies occupation, and drives away the listlessness of inaction; and in a country like India, where our pleasures of every kind are so very limited, those of the table, which can be enjoyed equally well as in a better climate, form a most prominent part. To this cause the tendency to gormandism, so generally observed in gentlemen long resident in the east, is to be ascribed, rather than to what people are facetiously pleased to denominate the luxuries of India; a term which must be applied in irony, as any luxuries I have ever seen there, are only bad substitutes, procured at great expence, for what every one enjoys at home for nothing. During the meal we had a deal of lively rattling talk, which could not be called conversation, but is to me as pleasant, and, I am ashamed to say, sometimes as edifying. The truth, since I must own it is, that I have had but few opportunities of witnessing that sharp encounter of the wits," which Dr Johnson is of opinion can alone be dignified with that title, except at the Circuit, where I once had the happiness to listen to a good deal of it, from some young Edinburgh lawyers. The subject was either politics or literature, and alternate orations, of from five to fifteen minutes duration, were made by the Whigs or Tories, much as in the House of Commons. I no longer wondered at the unrivalled eloquence of the Scottish bar, when I found that such was their zeal to acquire that talent, that even the convivial board, where others waste their time in idle chat, and heedlessly blunder out whatever comes uppermost, was by the processes of their well-disciplined minds-by weighing carefully every sentence before they uttered it-by using no arguments but those which, by having stood the test of ages, have come to be considered self-evi tions of their reason (if any they might happen to have) would incline them more to one side than another, the indulgence of such improper feelings is checked in the bud, and the use of brains in forming an opinion for ever after set aside. But though I was lost in admiration of the brilliant things they uttered, so defective is my taste, that I received no great pleasure from "the feast of reason, and the flow of soul." In fact, it was like treating a ploughman to claret and olives, whose taste being brutalized by ale and gingerbread, thinks these higly flavoured luxuries insipid and nauseous. But habit reconciles every thing; and should it ever be my good fortune to reside in Edinburgh, I have no doubt but that, by a daily dose of such fare, I may come to relish it mightily, as acquired tastes are always the strongest. But to return from this digression, on rising from the table, the company retired to sacrifice to the graces. My oblations to these goddesses taking but little time, I contented myself with bathing, and exchanging my heavy uniform for a suit of light muslin, with which one of the gentlemen was kind enough to accommodate me. But the process was by no means so simple with my friends, for on returning to the large hall where we had dent axioms-converted into a gym-dined, I had full three quarters of an try, as, from reasons which will appear in the sequel, I thought myself much safer on his back than at the tail of many a more spirited charger. Another said he would tool me in his curricle; a third recommended his dennet, as the most varmint; and a fourth, whose offer I accepted, pressed me to take the lower cushion of his tandem, which he assured me he cou fan along with any man on the course. So off we set for the evening parade of Calcutta. nasium, to train them by (wordy) warlike exercises for the real conflicts in which they were to be engaged as the champions of some oppressed client in the lists of the Parliament House. There is another cause, I have been informed, from which this superiority arises-their early education in the Edinburgh Speculative Society, a debating club where questions are given out for discussion, and parties appointed to support and oppose them after the manner in which the men of Kent make up a match at cricket. This gives them a habit of making long speeches whether they have any thing to say or not, an immense advantage in an argument, as those who have not listened (and who can command attention for three hours together) cannot impugn the reasoning. It also begets a sturdy pugnacious temper, highly conducive to logical attain ments, and as the impertinent sugges hour for meditation before they were ready. At last they entered in all the conscious splendour of hunting frocks, striped waistcoats, cord breeches, and top boots, which, with their well-stiffened starchers and ear-cutters, were in a style of ultra dandyism, most probably copied from the caricatures of the day, and stylish enough, but not, I should suppose, the costume the best calculated in the world to yield comfort in a climate +95° of Farenheit. They in one breath pressed upon me the means of any mode of conveyance I might prefer. One recommended his horse Knocknagrogherry, who, he assured me, being naturally endowed with a sweet disposition, and having arrived at the years of discretion, could be ridden by a child. Though my fears prevented me from accepting him on this occasion, I was under great obligations to that good-natured steed, and his equally good-natured master, during my stay in the coun could seen of a Sunday at one of the gates of Hyde Park, which, from the multitude of that elegant but unsafe vehicle which crowds its entrance, has of late received the appropriate and descriptive appel lation of Tilbury Fort. Here, per ceived for the first time, to my no small alarm, that my friend was not his crafts master" as a whip. His shafthorse, probably unaccustomed to that duty, was by no means free to the road; and to remedy this defect, the only shift his driver could fall upon, was to push the leader, who, by that arrangement, had not only to drag the carriage, but his unwilling yoke-fellow also, so that, though we came on but slowly, it was by no means surely. By great good luck we got through theit throng without doing or receiving much damage; and, as we were clearing it, the young gentleman began to flourish his whip and square his elbows with considerable address; but his triumph was only of short duration; for, in at The City of Palaces really deserves that appellation. Nothing can be more imposing than the splendid houses of Chouringhee, viewed from the course, which is a broad carriage road on the esplanade of Fort William, adjoining the race course, from which, presume, it derives its name. I think I have heard Edinburgh also called the City of Palaces, but the title does not apply nearly so well. There a number of houses form a grand architectural mass-great when taken as a tempting to turn at the end of the whole, but comparatively diminutivein fashionable part of the drive, the leadits parts; and by the regular recur- er alone came round, and that with a rence of street doors, you have it continually obtruded upon you that the habitations of a great many individuals are clubbed, without consulting either their individual taste or convenience to produce the effect. The Chouringhee houses generate a perfectly different feeling-cach stands solitary, surrounded by its own garden and court yard, and each is approached through large folding doors, in the dead wall in front, like the houses of the richer nobility in London These houses are of brick, flat roofed, and ballustraded, but covered with a composition that may easily be mistaken for Portland stone. The front is of great extent, and wings are often added. In the centre there is a pediment, supported by pillars of anomalous orders, within which is the front verandah. Though the details of all this are apt to be in the most barbarie architectural taste, the tout ensemble never fails to exhibit an air of grandeur I never saw equalled elsewhere' After driving for nearly a mile along the front of a succession of these splendid residences, we suddenly turned to our left into a crowd of carriages of all descriptions, such as you may have VOL. XI. jerk, so that both horses were brought to a stand-still, looking each other in the face, as if engaged in earnest conversation. This unexpected manœuvre put our Jehu rather to a non-plus; but as the good people seemed to mark us out as fit subjects whereon to exercise their wit, he adopted the most spirited course, and laid in the silk profusely on both steeds. This only made bad worse, for the shaft horse lashed out, and the leader bolted, and nearly capsized us. We found ourselves now under the necessity of alighting, and by the assistance of the native grooms, who very properly attend their masters on such occasions, we succeeded in placing the horses in a longitudinal direction; and my friend not being anxious to receive the condolence and congratulations of his acquaintances, proceeded round the course, and so home, without encountering any one who was aware of our disaster. Once safely landed, I made a resolus tion never again to sport my figure in such a conveyance; and, though not a better horseman than most gentle-301 men of his Majesty's navy, I ever after d stuck to Knocknagrogherryal The dinner was splendid the table groaned under a profusion of dishes 31 Pal and the wines were excellent and came animated, and he expressed himabundant. I found, however, that this self with fluency and to the point, diswas only of a piece with other people's playing an acuteness which I little sets out; for, in Calcutta, a man can hardly go amiss for a good dinner, and it is a toss up whether the best is to be found at the Palace of the GovernorGeneral, or the house of a trades man. The whole of the young civilians at table bore a strong resemblance to each other in manner and appearance, and, making allowance for circumstances, had much the air of young men of equal rank at home; but I particularly remarked two who formed a kind of species to the genus. The first of these was Mr Tudor Anson, who seemed to rise much above his brethren; he had the same dandyism which all affected, but it was quite clear at the first glance that there was more in him. Through that cover flashes of genius burst, which, "like unexpected light," surprised us, as a dandy is the last man on earth from whom we expect intellect. And so he seemed to think; for, though obviously superior to the surrounding mass, he waived his claim on that account, and rested it solely on his excellence in the science of the toilette, a ground where there was some chance at least for his competitors. I have since seen a little burlesque essay of his on tying neckcloths, written while at college, which would have done credit to an older man, and gives great promise of excellence as a writer, if he will only bestow as much attention on the style of his future performances as he does on the precepts of his past. The other was a gem of a different kind-a rough diamond, in short; his name was Whitebrook, but his companions addressed him by the familiar diminutive of Jemmy. He was fat and indolent in his appearance; and, except in offering me the use of his horse, I had not before heard the sound of his voice. After dinner, he sat and smoked his hookah, with his chin resting on his breast, and seemed, after every monosyllabic reply extorted from him, by the interrogatories of his friends, to express, by his manner, "leave me, leave me to repose;" however, he by and bye was forced from this state of stupor by repeated contradictions, and then he seemed a new man; his face, which before seemed to realize the idea of "fat contented ignorance," be expected from so heavy an exterior. He brought forcibly to my mind what Dr Johnson might have been, when girding up his loins for a controversy. I found he had been educated at Oxford, and had made a good use of his opportunities; he was, out of all comparison, the most intelligent of his class I ever met with. After the cloth was removed, the gentleman, in whose company I had suffered the martyrdom of "the world's dread laugh," was much quizzed by his comrades for his want of skill, but he soon silenced them, by quoting worse blunders of theirs; indeed, few nights pass without some such catastrophe as I have described, so that such a joke against one man has soon to make room for a similar one against another. Conversations among men engaged in the same pursuits, and often in each other's company, are apt to run into localities. Every body of men, "however high their rank, or low their station," have their own particular slang, and allusions to their own particular jokes, which are unintelligible to strangers, and the writers of Calcutta certainly do not prove this rule as exceptions. I found, also, that in many instances their habits of acting had given a wrong bias to their habits of thinking, and some opinions sported with perfect confidence, and admitted as established beyond question, struck me, as not a little at variance with my preconceived opinions of the moral fitness of things.-One of these was, that a young gentleman mentioned, who had been an unusual length of time in college, and from indolence had never been able to pass his trials, had, on that account, a strong claim for a good appointment-this appeared to me to be a non sequitur; but prepared me for another not unlike it, viz. that those who studied diligently to get through their probations, and lived within their means to keep out of debt, were a mean, despicable set, who made use of unworthy artifices to ingratiate themselves with their superiors, and to get over the heads of better men. So true is the observation of the most moral of our modern poets, the epigrammatic force and justice of whose verses always atone for the carelessness of their composition-that "Faults in the life breed errors in the brain, And these reciprocally those again." pompous peer in Miss Edgeworth's tale of Patronage. It may perhaps shock the delicacy of your fair readers to hear of such a tender subject being discussed in such a style in India; but let them remember, that in that country, marriage is a much less romantic arrangement than A great many stories were told, too, of the feats performed by these worthies against their professors and creditors, two classes of men whom they seemed to look upon as their natural enemies. One of these being charac-here-one great and understood object teristic, I shall repeat it. In the college there were two young gentlemen of the name of Whitebrook. Jemmy (my fat friend,) having got some hundreds of rupees in debt to a livery-stable keeper, a writ was issued and served against him. The bailiff found him reclining on a sofa, smoking hishookah, and and administered the tap on the shoulder, said to produce an electric - effect on unfortunate gentlemen. Jemmy responded to the well known symbol, by asking at whose suit? and, on being informed, " with infinite promptitude," told the grab he had mistaken his man, as it was the other Whitebrook who owed the money, and, at the same time, called to his servant to run to his name-sake, and warn him of his danger. Off set the servant, and the nab-man at his heels; and Jemmy, - following at his usual moderate pace, shut the door and secured it, while they were competing for the honour of being the first to arrive at his friends house. A proper vidette was then posted, and the minions of the law kept at staff's-end till Jemmy could make an arrangement with his agents. The party bantered a Mr Fanning most unmercifully, about his having been that morning jewaubed a phrase which was explained to me to signify, refused by a young lady. He admitted the fact; but said it was a matter of total indifference to him. Some one hinted that he had not shewn the same philosophical composure when he received the lady's note. This he also allowed; but said, that it was the manner, not the matter of it, that offended him, as it was written on China paper -an insult, in his eyes, equivalent to sealing with a wafer, in those of the of it, on the lady's part, being an establishment; and that there, mammas and aunts fish for husbands to their daughtersand nieces a practice which, as it never obtains in Edinburgh, will, I fear, gain neither forgiveness nor belief. Mr Odoherty says, that the present is a delicate age. In this instance, delicate either the walking cornet, more patriæ, has been speaking without reflectingout of the face, as he himself would term it-or does not display his usual acumen. I do not think this a more delicate age than that of Queen Anne. Equal indelicacy of matter is allowed; all the difference is, that we have got a neater mode of saying it. So far as my limited opportunities have gone, I would say, that nothing indelicate, in the present day, ever will be tolerated, that is not delicately expressed. Some elderly single gentlewomen rated me soundly, t'other day, for mentioning Adam Blair in presence of their nieces. What is improper in it I know not; but those who have been in the habit of looking for that sort of game, acquire a faculty of finding it inconceivable to the unpractised; as I have seen a sly old poacher discover a hare lurking in her form, where the less experienced sportsman could only see a bunch of withered fern. "It may be doubted, however," as Mr M'Leod says, whether those who have swallowed the camel so often when lubricated by the oily sophisms of Tom Moore, shew much consistency in straining at the gnat, because it wants such a luscious condiment. Bute, 1st April, 1822. C. B. |