thou forfaken me?—I'll remember the inexorableness of divine juftice, that would not fpare him one ftripe, bate him one farthing of the debt, nor one drop of the cup; fo that he drank till he cried, It is finished, and gave up the ghoft, Glory to him for his love in finishing the work.

MEDITATION XI.
From Philip. i. 23.

For I am in a ftrait betwixt two.

AS the Apostle was in a strait whether to chufe to die or to live, so am I in a strait whether to go to the Lord's table, or to ftay back. Now, thou calleft me, Lord, to celebrate the memorial of thy death, yea, to feast with thee at thy holy table, and I know not what to chufe; I am in a strait betwixt two. My heart is fo unholy, and my unworthinefs fo great, I tremble to go forward to feaft with a God fo holy, and whofe purity is infinite; and yet my wants are fo many, and my neceffities fo great, that my cafe is hopeless if I ftay back: Lord I can go to none elfe in all the world to supply my needs, but to thyfelf alone.-But oh, when I think of going forward, my guilt ftops my mouth, and fills me with blufhing. Lord, if the holy angels,thefe pure and unfpotted feraphims, who burn in zeal for thy fervice, must even cover their faces before thee; how fhall I venture into thy prefence, I whose zeal is fo languishing, whofe love is fo cold, whofe mind is fo earthly, and prayers fo dull? Shall I approach fo near a holy God in fuch a cafe? But what then fhall I do? Shall I join with thefe worldlings who were bidden to the feast of the great King, refufe, and make my excufe? Then I fear the King will be angry, declare me unworthy to taste of his fupper, yea, fwear in his wrath that I fhall never enter into his rest

Lord, I abhor myself for my unworthiness and vilenefs, my guilt and pollution; but where fhall I go to get help and remedy for it, but unto thee alone? Haft thou not bidden me come, though my fins be red as crimfon? Have not many fuch come to thee, and found re

D

lief and help? Surely, O Lord, thy goodness is greater than my finfulness, and thy mercy furpaffeth my mifery; for though my fins reach even to the clouds, yet thy mercy is above the heavens. O merciful Father, extend thy free, boundless mercy to a miferable, helpless finner: Surely mifery is the proper object of mercy. Holy God, if thou help me not for the fake of my miferies which I have deferved, yet help me for the fake of thy mercies which thou haft promifed in Chrift, thy dear Son. Wherefore I plead, for Chrift's fake, that thou wilt hear the cry of my miferies, and not the cry of my fins. O doth not his precious blood cry louder for pardon, than my fins for punishment? Lord, hear the cry of that blood, and let it not be as water fpilt upon the ground. For the fake of that prevalent blood, pity, pardon, and accept a poor unworthy creature, that defires to obey thy call, and prepare his heart to feek thee, though he be not cleansed according to the purificationof the fanctuary.

O Lord, though I may be afhamed to come to thee, my needs are fo preffing and pinching that I cannot stay away. To whom shall I go but unto thee, for thou haft the words of eternal life? The whole creation cannot supply my wants. Thou only art my fun, from whofe beams I must receive faving light: Thou art my head, from whom I must get fpiritual life; thou art the root, from which I must receive fap and growth: Thou art the fountain, from which I must draw living water: Thou art the treasure, from which I muft obtain the riches of grace. So that without thee I am nothing, I have nothing, I can do nothing.-To thee then must I go for all fupplies, and out of thy fulness receive grace for grace. -Lord, thou haft enough to fupply many worlds of needy fouls, for the fun is not fo full of light, nor the fea fo full of water, as thou art full of grace and mercy to needy creatures: And as thou art full, so I am affured thou art free, and willing to cummunicate thy fulness. In fpite then of all objections and difficulties, forward to thee I will go, and caft myfelf down at thy feet; IfI perifb, I perifh. Oh did ever any perish at mercy's

door?

in

Lord, I have heard of thy mercy to the very chief of finners, and cannot this mercy reach the like of me? Surely the viler finner I am, thou haft the fairer opportunity to fhew the riches of thy mercy, the freenefs of thy love, and the efficacy of thy blood; and if I be allowed to fhare therein, the sweeter and louder will the eternal halelujahs be, that will be fung to the lamb of God on my account, that he would glorify his mercy, his love, and blood, my relief. O where fhall a poor heavy laden finner go, but to him that can free him of his burden? Where fhall I go with a multitude of fins and miferies, but to thee who haft a multitude of tender mercies? Where fhall I go with my deep and heinous guilt, but to thee who haft a deep fountain to wash it away? Behold one depth calleth to another, the depth of my mifery to the depth of thy mercy! My wound is great, but thy balm is excellent! My fore is broad, but thy plaitter is answerable! O Lord be merciful unto me, heal my foul, for I have finned against thee.

Lord, is not the gospel-feast I am invited to a feast of charity, to which thou calleft not the rich, but the poor, maimed, halt, and blind, who cannot make any return for thy bounty? And may not fuch a miferable object as I am take encouragement from fuch a free extenfive invitation, Luke xiv. 21.-My bleffed Redeemer, while he was on earth, did not difdain to eat with publicans and finners, nor to dine with Simon a leper. And tho' he is now exalted in the higheft heavens, yet he still retains the bowels of a man, and all the pity and charity to perishing finners, he had while here in this state of humiliation Wherefore, fenfible of my unworthiness, loathing myself for my vilenefs, and truiting to my Saviour's compaffion to the miferable, I defire to go forward to his holy table: O that he would direct and ftrengthen me to go about fuch a weighty work! Let not that ordinance, which God hath initituted for a bleffing, be made a curfe to me through my unworthy partaking. Lord, rebuke all unfeaionable thoughts and wanderings that would mar the duty; excite and actuate in me every proper grace, and enable me to manage fo,

that I may not difhonour, but glorify thee; I may not increase my guilt, but augment my grace; I may not bring more hardness, but foftnefs into my heart. Lord, defcend into my heart by the influences of thy Spirit, that I may afcend up to thee by the actings of grace; and when the King fits at his table, let my fpikenard fend forth the fmell thereof, Lord, I look to thee for ftrength, conduct, and through-bearing, in every ftrait. I truft not in my preparations, but in thy free mercy, for acceptance; I truft not in my faith, but in thy faithfulnefs, who haft promised to give power to the faint; I truft not in my repentance, but in thy free pardoning mercy; I trust not in my doings, but in Chrift's doings. O take away my filthy garments, and clothe me with the best robe, THE LORD OUR RIGHTEOUSNESS. I will go in the ftrength of the Lord God, I will make mention of thy righteoufnejs, even of thine only. Awake, O north wind, and come thou fouth, blow upon my garden, that the spices may flow out. If thy prefence go not with me, carry me not up hence.

The Lord made a breach upon the Ifraelites for not feeking him after the due order, 1 Chron. xv. 13.-He fmote 50,cco of the Bethfhemites for an irreverent look into the Ark, which typified Chrift; and what cause then have I to fear a ftroke, fhould I rafhly touch the fymbols of his body and blood?-Seeing this ordinance is intended for doing honour to the King of Zion, O fave me from doing indignity to him, by betraying him with a kifs, or by throwing his picture, or great feal, into a puddle. May I fo prepare for this feaft, that the bleffed mafter of it may fee I am watchful of his eye, ten. der of his honour, and fearful of his anger. Lord, awake my heart, fir up my graces, and prepare me for a meeting with my Saviour; and let not my foul, whofe only hope is to be faved by Chrift's blood, be fent away from his table with the guilt, inftead of the benefit, of that blood upon it.

MEDITATION XII.
From Philip. iv. 19.

But my God ball fupply all your need, according to his riches in glory, by Chrift Fefus.

H

EAVENLY Father, out of thy rich bounty thou waft pleased once to lay up a great stock for me in my progenitors hands, but they very foon fquandered it all away, fo that I am become extremely poor and needy. Oh! what can I do in this indigent condition, but come back to thee for pity and new fupplies?-For ever bleffed be thy name, for the reviving news thou haft publifhed in the gospel; that thou haft now laid up a new stock for bankrupt finners in the hands of a furety that cannot fail, and haft erected a throne of grace for such as I am to come to in time of need, where Chrift Jefus my furety fits, as commiflioned by thee, with glorious riches to fupply my wants -Many are the needs which thou thinks fit to leave upon me, that I might have the more errands unto this throne, and that thou mayeft the oftener hear my voice. O pour out upon me a spirit of grace and fupplication, and caufe me to delight in approaching to thee, and pouring out my wants before thee.

Behold, Lord, a needy creature, an object of pity, approaching to a liberal Saviour, whose fulness is infinite! O how fuitable is it to my wants, which are great and innumerable! I am ftarving, and have no bread; I am naked, and have no clothing; I am wounded, and have no cure; I am in debt, and I have no money; I am polluted, and have no fountain; I am burdened, and have no reit; I have destroyed myself, and can find no help in myself. -But yet there is help for me elsewhere: I have heard of the mercy of the King of Ifrael, and of the remedy he hath provided for thofe who are helplefs, lolt, and miferable. Wherefore, though I be poor, I will not defpair, for thou art the Lord of the whole world, and haft. opened thy treasures to the needy: Though I be polluted, I will not defpond, for thou haft the fountain of alvation: Though I be naked, I will not with Adam rum