In justice you cannot refuse
To think of our distress, When we for hopes of honour lose
Our certain happiness ; All those designs are but to prove Ourselves more worthy of your love.
With a fa, &c.
And now we've told you all our loves,
And likewise all our fears, In hopes this declaration moves
Some pity for our tears ; Let's hear of no inconstancy, We have too much of that at sea.
With a fa la, la, la, la.
JOHN Philips was bum at Bampton. in Oxfordshire, in 1676, anel was eclucated at Oxford He died in 1708.
He is remarkable for his attachment to tobacco, which he mentions in all his pieces but one. His best poem is written “On Cyder," in imitation of the Georgies of Virgil: the following, which is a parody on the style of Milton, has always been very popular.)
HAPPY the man, who, void of care and strife, In silken or in leathern purse retains A Splendid Shilling : he nor hears with pain New oysters cried, nor sighs for cheerful ale ; But with his friends, when nightly mists arise, To Juniper's Magpie, or Town-hall repairs : Where, mindful of the nymph, whose wanton eye Transfix'd his soul, and kindled amorous flames, Chloe or Phillis, he each circling glass Wishes her health, and joy, and equal love. Meanwhile he smokes, and laughs at merry tale, Or pun ambiguous, or conundrum quaint. But I, whom griping penury surrounds,
And hunger, sure attendant upon want, With scanty offals, and small acid tiff, Wretched repast ! my meagre corpse sustain : Then solitary walk, or doze at home In garret vile, and with a warming puff
Regale chill'd fingers; or from tube as black As winter-chimney, or well-polish'd jet, Exhale mundungus, ill-perfumed scent : Not blacker tube, nor of a shorter size, Smokes Cambro-Britain (versed in pedigree,
Sprung from Cadwallader and Arthur, kings Full famous in romantic tale) when he O'er many a craggy hill and barren cliff, Upon a cargo of famed Cestrian cheese, High over-shadowing rides, with a design To vend his wares, or at th’ Avonian mart, Or Maridunum, or the ancient town Yclept Brechinia, or where Vaga's stream Encircles Ariconium, fruitful soil ! Whence flow nectareous wines, that well may vie With Massic, Setin, or renown'd Falern.
Thus, while my joyless minutes tedious flow With looks demure, and silent pace, a dun, Horrible monster! hated by gods and men, To my aërial citadel ascends : With vocal heel thrice thundering at my gate ; With hideous accent thrice he calls ; I know The voice ill-boding, and the solemn sound. What should I do? or whither turn? Amazed, Confounded, to the dark recess I fly Of wood-hole ; straight my bristling hairs erect Through sudden fear : a chilly sweat bedews My shuddering limbs, and (wonderful to tell !) My tongue forgets her faculty of speech; So horrible he seems! His faded brow Intrench'd with many a frown, and conic beard, And spreading band, admired by modern saints, Disastrous acts forebode; in his right hand Long scrolls of paper solemnly he waves,
With characters and figures dire inscribed, Grievous to mortal eyes (ye gods, avert Such plagues from righteous men !) Behind him stalks Another monster, not unlike himself, Sullen of aspect, by the vulgar call'd A catchpole, whose polluted hands the gods With force incredible, and magic charms, First have endued : if he his ample palm Should haply on ill-fated shoulder lay Of debtor, straight his body, to the touch Obsequious (as whilom knights were wont), To some enchanted castle is convey'd, Where gates impregnable, and coercive chains, In durance strict detain him, till, in form Of money, Pallas sets the captive free.
Beware, ye debtors ! when ye walk, beware, Be circumspect; oft with insidious ken This caitiff eyes your steps aloof, and oft Lies perdue in a nook or gloomy cave, Prompt to enchant some inadvertent wretch With his unhallow'd touch. So (poets sing) Grimalkin, to domestic vermin sworn An everlasting foe, with watchful eye Lies nightly brooding o'er a chinky gap, Portending her fell claws, to thoughtless mice Sure ruin. So her disembowell'd web Arachne, in a hall or kitchen, spreads Obvious to vagrant flies: she secret stands Within her woven cell ; the humming prey,
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