In the Fire

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Xulon Press, 2008 - Biography & Autobiography - 192 pages
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This my second book of my 4 in a bibliotherapy series. Like war veterans who have either taken a life or seen life taken, my young life was ruined after my forced, horrible abortion in 1977. This is my story to overcome and affirm my damaged emotional reality. No one or anything else around me does. I stand alone. Like young, formerly moral soldiers returning from Iraq with ruined lives, I was not equipped to deal with the aftermath of abortion and PTSD. The Lord Jesus Christ above counselors, doctors, drugs, natural healing methods and addictions helps me with His powerful, sharp, two-edged sword, His Word. I am crucified daily, surrendered to God, waiting on Him, and listening for that still small voice. I failed. Jesus never fails. Struggling to get in touch with herself, to integrate her emotions into her life, Patricia G. Ella retired in 2001. She left her breadwinner job of 25 years, her home area of 50 years in a metropolitan suburb, and moved to the country. She found excruciating loneliness, sleeping 15 hours a day on SSRIs, while drinking 5 cups of coffee a day. Incontinence, severe adrenal fatigue and a lower back injury had been minimized before retirement. She pursued "natural healing"...fasting, B vitamins, nutritional support, walking in the grass barefoot, etc. She needed to do whatever, whenever. For recovery, she needed to be inner directed by God, internal controlled. Purchasing a computer, she recreated her work environment as a part of her recovery. Her cats, Obadiah and Queen Ester "Ebbie" Puff Tail of Williams Street, who is currently battling cancer, provide pet therapy for her. She also feeds the birds.

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Contents

Pre Abortion My Background
13
What Happened to Me After Running Away
31
My Legal Divorce
47
My First Job Ever and a Single Mom
49
My First Apartment
51
Making It Sort of
57
Another Relationship Stumbling Again
59
Moved Because I Thought That I Had To
65
Extreme Emotional Suffering and Pain
121
Root of Anger and Bitterness
123
The Gift of Repentance
127
How I felt immediately After the Abortion
129
Moving Towards Resolution
135
The Old and New Testament
139
Hysterectomy
141
Silent No More Division of Heart
149

Further Education a Higher Paying Job and a Boyfriend
67
The Wedding ReMarriage
71
Baptism
77
My Criminal Tragic Abortion
79
A WakeUp Call
81
The Mental Health Worker Consult
85
The Church Parking Lot
89
Serving the god of MONEY
93
My Criminal Tragic Abortion
95
The Gift of the Locket
101
Aftermath of Abortion After Affects
105
Child Sacrifice
107
My Second Child from My Second Marriage
111
Secret Shame
115
Battling Self Hatred
117
A Coverup for Moral Destruction
119
Victory Healing Journey
151
No One Said That It Will Be Easy
153
The Power of Forgiveness Choosing to Believe that I am Forgiven Loving Myself Accepting My Losses
155
Grief Work
159
My Turning Point
161
Cleansing and Purifying
163
Chastisement
167
Healing for Self Hatred
171
Truth
173
My Healing for My Despondency
175
Recognizing My Cross and Taking It Up Daily
177
Overcoming
181
End Notes
183
Bibliography
189
Copyright

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