In the FireThis my second book of my 4 in a bibliotherapy series. Like war veterans who have either taken a life or seen life taken, my young life was ruined after my forced, horrible abortion in 1977. This is my story to overcome and affirm my damaged emotional reality. No one or anything else around me does. I stand alone. Like young, formerly moral soldiers returning from Iraq with ruined lives, I was not equipped to deal with the aftermath of abortion and PTSD. The Lord Jesus Christ above counselors, doctors, drugs, natural healing methods and addictions helps me with His powerful, sharp, two-edged sword, His Word. I am crucified daily, surrendered to God, waiting on Him, and listening for that still small voice. I failed. Jesus never fails. Struggling to get in touch with herself, to integrate her emotions into her life, Patricia G. Ella retired in 2001. She left her breadwinner job of 25 years, her home area of 50 years in a metropolitan suburb, and moved to the country. She found excruciating loneliness, sleeping 15 hours a day on SSRIs, while drinking 5 cups of coffee a day. Incontinence, severe adrenal fatigue and a lower back injury had been minimized before retirement. She pursued "natural healing"...fasting, B vitamins, nutritional support, walking in the grass barefoot, etc. She needed to do whatever, whenever. For recovery, she needed to be inner directed by God, internal controlled. Purchasing a computer, she recreated her work environment as a part of her recovery. Her cats, Obadiah and Queen Ester "Ebbie" Puff Tail of Williams Street, who is currently battling cancer, provide pet therapy for her. She also feeds the birds. |
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Contents
Pre Abortion My Background | 13 |
What Happened to Me After Running Away | 31 |
My Legal Divorce | 47 |
My First Job Ever and a Single Mom | 49 |
My First Apartment | 51 |
Making It Sort of | 57 |
Another Relationship Stumbling Again | 59 |
Moved Because I Thought That I Had To | 65 |
Extreme Emotional Suffering and Pain | 121 |
Root of Anger and Bitterness | 123 |
The Gift of Repentance | 127 |
How I felt immediately After the Abortion | 129 |
Moving Towards Resolution | 135 |
The Old and New Testament | 139 |
Hysterectomy | 141 |
Silent No More Division of Heart | 149 |
Further Education a Higher Paying Job and a Boyfriend | 67 |
The Wedding ReMarriage | 71 |
Baptism | 77 |
My Criminal Tragic Abortion | 79 |
A WakeUp Call | 81 |
The Mental Health Worker Consult | 85 |
The Church Parking Lot | 89 |
Serving the god of MONEY | 93 |
My Criminal Tragic Abortion | 95 |
The Gift of the Locket | 101 |
Aftermath of Abortion After Affects | 105 |
Child Sacrifice | 107 |
My Second Child from My Second Marriage | 111 |
Secret Shame | 115 |
Battling Self Hatred | 117 |
A Coverup for Moral Destruction | 119 |
Victory Healing Journey | 151 |
No One Said That It Will Be Easy | 153 |
The Power of Forgiveness Choosing to Believe that I am Forgiven Loving Myself Accepting My Losses | 155 |
Grief Work | 159 |
My Turning Point | 161 |
Cleansing and Purifying | 163 |
Chastisement | 167 |
Healing for Self Hatred | 171 |
Truth | 173 |
My Healing for My Despondency | 175 |
Recognizing My Cross and Taking It Up Daily | 177 |
Overcoming | 181 |
End Notes | 183 |
Bibliography | 189 |
Common terms and phrases
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