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the retrograde path, first to Arianism, and then to the received doctrine of the Trinity. Yet this was my case: Dr. Clarke appeared to me so undeniably to establish his argument by express scriptural evidences, and so plausibly to defend his system on both sides, and to back his cause with so many seeming authorities, that I found myself unable any longer to maintain my Socinian principles, and was constrained to relinquish them as untenable; at the same time I was not aware of the flaw in his reasoning, and the unavoidable consequence of his middle doctrine, namely, " that the Son and Holy Spirit, however exalted, or dignified with names and titles, must either be mere creatures, or that otherwise there must be three Gods." Not perceiving this, and my newly acquired reverence for scripture, and my old self-confidence and fondness for reasoning, being by this conciliating scheme both humoured, I cordially acceded to his sentiments, and for a long time could not endure any other doctrine.

Nothing further of any consequence occurred till about December 1776, when carelessly taking up Mr. Law's Serious Call,' a book I had hitherto treated with contempt, I had no sooner opened it than I was struck with the originality of the work, and the spirit and force of argument with which it is written. I mean merely as to his management of the subjects he treats of; for there are many things in it that I am very far from approving; and it certainly contains as little gospel as any religious work I am acquainted with. But though a very uncomfortable book to a person who is brought under a serious concern for his soul, and deep convictions of sin, it is very useful to prepare the way, to show the need we have of a Saviour, and to enforce the practice of that noly diligence in the use of means, which the important interests of eternity reasonably demand.

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By the perusal of it, I

This was its use to me. was convinced that I was guilty of great remissness and negligence; that the duties of secret devotion called for far more of my time and attention than had been hitherto allotted to them; and that, if I hoped to save my own soul, and the souls of those that heard me, I must in this respect greatly alter my conduct, and increase my diligence in seeking and serving the Lord. From that time I began to study in what manner my devotions might be rendered more fervent and pertinent: I transcribed, and committed to memory, scriptural petitions; I employed some time in reading manuals of devotion; made attempts to compose prayers myself; and became more frequent and earnest, and, I trust, more spiritual, than heretofore, in my secret addresses to the Majesty of heaven.

About this time, after many delays, I complied with the admonitions of my conscience, and-disengaged myself from all other employments, with a solemn resolution to leave all my temporal concerns in the hands of the Lord, and entirely to devote myself to the work of the ministry. Being thus become master of all my time, I dropped every other study, and turned the whole current of my reflections and inquiries into another channel; and for several years I scarcely opened a book which treated of any thing besides religion.

The first step I took, after this disengagement, was to keep common-place books: one I had for noting down remarkable passages out of other authors; and another for collecting into one view every text I could meet with in scripture respecting the most important and controverted doctrines of the gospel. Though I held this but a short time (for when my engagements multiplied, I dropt it), yet I found it very useful in bringing me acquainted with many passages of the word of

God to which I had not hitherto much attended; and it prepared the way for writing my sermons on doctrinal subjects, with the scriptural testimonies concerning the point in hand in one view before me.

In January 1777 I met with a very high commendation of Mr. Hooker's writings, in which the honourable appellation of judicious was bestowed upon him. This excited my curiosity to read his works; which accordingly I did with great profit. In his Discourse of Justification' (Edit. 1682, p. 469), I met with the following remarkable passage, which, as well for its excellency as for the effect it had upon my religious views, I shall, though rather long, transcribe:-"If our hands did never offer violence to our brethren, a bloody thought did prove us murderers before him [God]. If we had never opened our mouth to utter any scandalous, offensive, or hurtful word, the cry of our secret cogitations is heard in the ears of God. If we did not commit the sins, which daily and hourly, in deed, word, or thoughts, we do commit; yet, in the good things which we do, how many defects are there intermingled! God, in that which is done, respecteth the mind and intention of the doer. Cut off then all those things wherein we have regarded our own glory; those things which men do to please men, and to satisfy our own liking; those things which we do, by any respect, not sincerely and purely for the love of God-and a small score will serve for the number of our righteous deeds. Let the holiest and best thing we do be considered::-we are never better affected unto God than when we pray; yet, when we pray, how are our affections many times distracted! how little reverence do we show unto the grand majesty of God unto whom we speak! how little remorse of our own miseries! how little taste of the sweet influence of his tender mercies do we feel! Are

we not as unwilling many times to begin, and as glad to make an end, as if, in saying" Call upon me," he had set us a very burdensome task? It may seem somewhat extreme which I will speak, therefore let every one judge of it even as his own heart shall tell him, and no otherwise. I will but only make a demand: If God should yield unto us, not, as unto Abraham, if fifty, forty, thirty, twenty, yea, or if ten good persons could be found in a city, for their sakes the city should not be destroyed; but, and if he should make us an offer thus large: Search all the generations of men since the fall of our father Adam; find one man that hath done one action, which hath passed from him pure, without any stain or blemish at all; and for that one only man's action, neither men nor angels shall feel the torments which are prepared for both: Do you think that this ransom, to deliver men and angels, could be found to be among the sons of men? The best things which we do have somewhat in them to be pardoned; how then can we do any thing meritorious or worthy to be rewarded? Indeed, God doth liberally promise whatsoever appertaineth to a blessed life, to as many as sincerely keep his law, though they be not exactly able to keep it. Wherefore we acknowledge a dutiful necessity of doing well, but the meritorious dignity of doing well we utterly We see how far we are from the perfect righteousness of the law; the little fruit which we have in holiness, it is, God knoweth, corrupt and unsound: we put no confidence at all in it; we challenge nothing in the world for it; we dare not call God to reckoning, as if we had him in our debt-books. Our continual suit to him is, and must be, to bear with our infirmities, and pardon our offences."

renounce.

I had no sooner read this passage, than I acquired such an insight into the strictness and spi.

rituality of the divine law, and the perfection which a just and holy God, according to that law, cannot but require in all the services of his reasonable creatures; that I clearly perceived my very best duties, on which my main dependence had hitherto been placed, to be merely specious sins; and my whole life appeared to be one continued series of transgression. I now understood the apostle's meaning, when he affirms, that "by the works of the law can no flesh be justified before God." All my difficulties in this matter vanished; all my distinctions and reasonings about the meaning of the words law and justification, with all my borrowed criticisms upon them, failed me at once. I could no longer be thus amused; for I was convinced, beyond the possibility of a doubt, that all men were so notoriously transgressors of every law of God, that no man could possibly be justified in his sight by his obedience to any of the divine commandments. I was sensible, that if God should call me into judgment before him, according to the strictness of his perfect law, for the best duty I ever performed, and for nothing else, I must be condemned as a transgressor; for when weighed in these exact balances, it would be found wanting. Thus I was effectually convinced, that if ever I were saved, it must be in some way of unmerited mercy and grace, though I did not clearly understand in what way till long after. Immediately, therefore, I took for my text, Gal. iii. 22. "But the scripture hath concluded all under sin, that the promise by faith of Jesus Christ might be given to them that believe." And I preached from it according to Hooker's doctrine; expressing, as strongly as I could, the defilements of our best actions, and our need of mercy in every thing we do, in order the more evidently to show, that "salvation is of grace through faith;-not of works, lest any man should boast."

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