take Heed of diftinguishing in Publick what kind of Husband he is: Her inward Thoughts muft not hinder the outward Payment of the Confideration that is due to him : Her flighting him in Company, befides that it would, to a difcerning By-Stander, give too great Encouragement for the making nearer Applications to herself, is in itself fuch an indecent Way of affuming, that it may provoke the tame Creature to break loose, and fhew his Dominion for his Credit, which he was content to forget for Eafe. In fhort, the fureft and most approved Method will be, to do like a wife Minifter to an eafy Prince, firft give him the Orders which are afterwards to be received from him.

With all this, that which he is to pray for, is a wife Husband; one that by knowing how to be a Mafter, for that very Reason will not let her feel the Weight of it; one whofe Authority is fo foftened by his Kindness, that it gives her Eafe without abridging her Liberty; one that will return fo much Tenderness for her just Esteem of him, that she will never want Power, tho' fhe will feldom care to use it. Such a Husband is as much above all the other Kinds of them, as a rational Subjection to a Prince, great in himself, is to be preferred before the Difquiet and Uneafinefs of unlimited Liberty.

A little must be added to this Head, concerning a Wife's Behaviour to her Husband's Friends, which requires the most refined Part of her Understanding to acquit herself well of it. She is to ftudy how to live with them, with more Care than how to apply to any other Part of Life; especially at first, that she may not ftumble at the first seting out. The Family into which fhe is grafted will generally be apt to expect, that like a Stranger in a Foreign

R 2

Country,

Country, the should conform to their Methods, and not bring in a new Model by her own Authority. The Friends, in fuch a Cafe, are tempted to rife up in Arms as against an unlawful Invafion; fo that she is with the utmost Caution to avoid the least Appearances of any thing of this kind. And that she may, with lefs Difficulty, afterwards give her Directions, the must be fure, at first, to receive them from her Husband's Friends. Let her gain them to her by early applying to them, and they will be fo fatisfy'd, that as nothing is more thankful than Pride, when it is complied with, they will strive which of them fhall most recommend her: And when they have helped her to take root in her Husband's good Opinion, she will have less Dependance upon theirs, tho' the ought not to neglect any reafonable Means of preferving it. She is to confider, that a Man governed by his Friends, is very eafily inflamed by them; and that one who is not fo, will, yet, for his own Sake, expect to have them confidered. It is eafily improved to a Point of Honour in a Husband, not to have his Relations neglected; and nothing is more dangerous, than to raise an Objection, which is grounded upon Pride:. It is the moft ftubborn and lafting Paffion we are fubject to, and where it is the firft Caufe of the War, it is very hard. to make a fecure Peace. A Wife's Caution in this is of the laft Importance to her.

And that he may the better fucceed in it, fhe should carry a ftrict Eye upon the Impertinence of her Servants; and take heed that their ill Humour may not engage her to take Exceptions, and their too much affuming in finall Matters, raife Confequences which may bring her under great Difadvantages. She thould remember that in the

Cafe.

Cafe of a Royal Bride, thofe about her are generally fo far fufpected to bring in a Foreign Intereft, that in moft Countries they are infenfibly reduced to a very fmall Number, and thofe of fo low a Figure, that it does not admit the being jealous of them. In little and in the Proportion, this may be the Cafe of every new-married Woman, and, therefore, it may be more adviseable for her, to gain the Servants she finds in a Family, than to tie herself too fast to those fhe carries into it.

A Woman is not to over-look thefe finall Reflexions, because they may appear low and inconfiderable; for it may be faid, that as the greatest Streams are made up of the small Drops at the Head of the Springs from whence they are derived; fo the greater Circumftances of her Life will be in fome degree directed by these feeming Trifles; which having the Advantage of being the first Acts of it, have a greater Effect than fingly in their own Nature they could pretend to.

A

CHAP. XIII.

Of the HOUSE, FAMILY and CHILDREN.

Woman is to lay this before her, that there are Degrees of Care to recommend her to the World in the feveral Parts of her Life. In many things, tho' the doing them well may raise her Credit and Esteem, yet, the Omiflion of them would draw no immediate Reproach up

on

on her: In others, where her Duty is more particularly applied, the Neglect of them is amongst thofe Faults which are not forgiven, and will bring her under a Cenfure, which will be much a heavier thing than the Trouble she would avoid. Of this Kind, is the Government of her Houfe, Family, and Children; which fince it is the Province allotted to the Female Sex, and that the difcharging it well, will, for that Reafon, be expected from the Woman; if fhe either defert it out of Lazinefs, or manage it ill for want of Skill, instead of a Help the will be an Incumbiance to the Family where the is placed.

No Refpect is lafting but that which is produced by our being in fome Degree ufeful to thofe that pay it. Where that fails, the Homage and the Reverence go along with it, and fly to others where fomething may be expected in exchange for them: And upon this Principle the Refpects even of the Children and the Servants will not stay with one that does not think them worth their Care; and the old House-Keeper fhall make a better Figure in the Family, than the Lady with all her fine Cloaths, if the wilfully relinquishes her Title to the Government. Therefore, let her take Heed of carrying her good Breeding to fuch a Height, as to be good for nothing, and to be proud of it. Some think it has a greater Air to be above troubleing their Thoughts with fuch ordinary things as their House and Family; others dare not admit Cares for fear they should haften Wrinkles; mistaken Pride makes fome think they must keep themselves up, and not defcend to thefe Duties which do not feem enough refined for great Ladies to be employ'd in; forgetting all this while, that it is more than

the

the greatest Princes can do, at once to preferve Respect, and to neglect their Bufinefs. No Age ever erected Altars to infignificant Gods: They had all fome Quality applied to them to draw worship from Mankind; this makes it the more unreasonable for a Lady to expect to be confidered, and at the fame Time refolve not to deferve it. Good Looks alone will not do, they are not fuch a lafting Tenure as to be relied upon; and if they fhould ftay longer than they ufually do, it will by no Means be fafe to depend upon them: For when Time has abated the Violence of the first liking, and that the Napp is a little worn off, tho' ftill a good Degree of Kindness may remain, Men recover their Sight which before might be dazzled, and allow themselves to object as well as to admire.

In fuch a Cafe, when a Hufband fees an empty airy thing fail up and down the Houfe to no kind of Purpose, and look as if she came thither only to make a Vifit: When he finds that after her Emptinefs has been extremę bufy about fome very fenfelefs Thing, fhe eats her Breakfaft half an Hour before Dinner, to be at greater Liberty to afflict the Company with her Difcourfe; then calls for her Coach, that he may trouble her Acquaintance, who are already cloy'd with her; and having fome proper Dialogues ready to display her foolish Eloquence at the Top of the Stairs, fhe fets out like a Ship out of the Harbour, laden with Trifles, and comes back with them: At her Return fhe repeats to her faithful Waiting-Woman, the Triumphs of that Day's Impertinence; then wrapped up in Flattery and clean Linnen, goes to Bed fo fatisfy'd, that it throws her into pleafant Dreams of her own Felicity. Such a one is feldom ferious but with her Taylor; her

Children