In proposing the scheme to you, Mr. Inspector, I have not only had in view the wounds which our fair country-women, if trained to the use of arms, might be enabled to inflict upon their opponents, I would likewise wish to employ them in a warfare more congenial, perhaps, to their natures, and which, if pertinaciously adhered to, would doubtless contribute nearly as much to the discomfiture of our enemies. The propensity to loquacity, which it is generally understood they possess, might, I think, under proper direction, be rendered fully as dreadful to an hostile force as the Grecian wildfire, once so commonly resorted to. There is reason to suppose, however, that this would not be the case indiscriminately;-to the French it would, perhaps, give little annoyance, but I should conceive that to the grave Spaniard, or phlegmatic Dutchman, an army thoroughly disciplined in this respect, would be more formidable than double the number armed in the common way with muskets and bayonets. That such would be the fact, as regards the Turks, in case of any hostilities with them, is proved from the remarks of Mr. Campbell, who, in his entertaining Travels overland to India, observes, "A Turk meeting a woman in the street, turns his head from her, as if looking at her were criminal: and there is nothing they detest so much, or will more sedulously shun, than an impudent audacious woman." The proposed plan, would, no doubt, judging from its effects on our sex, make the females "impudent," and "audacious" enough. He adds,-"To get the better of a Turk, there is nothing further necessary, than to let slip a Virago at him, and he instantly retreats." Should this idea, which, I believe, is exclusively my own, be approved of, I shall insist that the use of the ducking stool be discontinued in these realms,-and that a new species of recreation be adopted in the army and navy, for the exclusive use of the female warriors. Instead of firing at a target or floating cask, scolding at a mark should be adopted, and prizes given to those who excel in Zantíppean abilities. Prisoners of war, I think, might be compelled to stand as butts for this exercise; and this would, perhaps, spread the terror of our new artillery more effectually among the enemy; since these men, if ever they should live to be exchanged, would doubtless, give a full recital of their sufferings to their wondering countrymen. If this should be looked upon as an infringement of the law of nations, I would propose that the throwing of rotten eggs at convicts sentenced to be pilloried, be prohibited by act of Parliament,—and, instead thereof, that they shall be compelled to stand a certain number of these wordy vollies, proportioned to their crimes. This would be promoting the true ends of punishment-chastisement of the offenders, and benefit to the community. But this, Mr. Inspector, by the bye. It may, perhaps, be objected by some of those malicious souls who delight in thwarting the wisest plans, if not the offspring of their own brains, that the constitutions of our fair countrywomen render them incapable of undergoing the fatigues consequent upon the profession of arms: to such I would oppose the high authority of Dr. Buchan, who, in his treatise on Domestic Medicine, gives it as his decided opinion that women are more fitted for sedentary occupations than men. Now as confinement in tents or on board of transports, for a few months, frequently forms one of the principal events in a military life, the futility of the above objection must be evident to every reader. Besides, it is easy to adduce numerous examples from our history, by which the competency of women to equal the military performances of the other sex will be rendered apparent. Lest I should be accused of acting invidiously, I shall not select my instances from the annals of the present times, but refer your readers back to the middle of the last century; and at the same time corroborate my sentiments by the respectable testimony of the author of the IDLER, as delivered in the following quotation: "The troops of Braddock never saw their enemies, and perhaps were defeated by women. If our American General had headed an army of girls, he might still have built a fort and taken it. Had Minorca been garrisoned by a female. garrison, it might have been surrendered as it was, without a breach; and I cannot but think that 7000 women might have ventured to look at Rochefort, sack a village, rob a vineyard, and return in safety." AMICUS. MISCELLANEOUS POETRY. THE CONSOLATION. SAY, Damon, why, in mournful guise, Indulge the melancholy strain; And spurn the pleasures life supplies, Of cares and anguish to complain? Far as the mental eye can reach, Dost thou no blissful traits discern? Attend to what the muse shall teach, And wisdom from the lesson learn. When Spring, the landscape to adorn, M m |