very

fered some poor prayers for divine teaching, I undertook to preach upon it; but I talked very darkly, employed a considerable part of my time in declaiming against visionaries and enthusiasts, and reaped little benefit from it. Yet I was so well satisfied with my performance, that, in the course of my correspondence with Mr. N., I sent him these sermons for his perusal: and he, in return, sent me some of his own upon the same subject. But, though sincerely desirous to understand our Lord's meaning in this important point, I was too proud to be taught by him; I cast my eye therefore carelessly over some of them, and returned the manuscript without closely attending to any thing contained in it.

Nothing material occurred after this, till the next spring, 1776: when I was induced, by what I had learned from Bishop Burnet, to establish a lecture once a week in one of my parishes, for expounding the Scriptures. This brought many passages, which I had not before observed, under attentive consideration; and afforded my reflecting mind abundance of employment, in attempting to reconcile them with each other, and with my scheme of doctrine.

Little progress however had been made, when, in May 1776, I heard a dignified clergyman, in a visitation sermon, recommend Mr. Soame Jennings's "View of the internal evidence of the Christian Re

ligion." In consequence of this recommendation I perused it, and not without profit. The truth and importance of the Gospel revelation appeared, with convincing evidence, to my understanding, and came with efficacy to my heart, by reading this book. received from it more distinct heart-affecting views

I

of the design of God in this revelation of himself, than I had before; and I was put upon much serious reflection, and earnest prayer to be led to, or established in, the truth, concerning the nature and reality of the atonement by the death of Christ: for hitherto I had been in this respect a Socinian, or very little better.

But, to counterbalance this advantage, Dr. Clarke's Scripture Doctrine of the Trinity," and the controversy which ensued upon its publication, became a favourite part of my study. The Arian scheme is so inconsistent with reason, that when reflecting men, in order to avoid those mysterious and, as they imagine, unreasonable, conclusions, which, according to the true meaning of words, the Scriptures contain, have become Arians, it is wonderful they do not, for the same cause, embrace the Socinian system. This is the natural progress of unhumbled reason; from Arianism to Socinianism, from Socinianism to Deism, and thence to Atheism. Many and awful have been the examples of reasoning and learned men, who, under the name of Philosophers, arrogating to themselves the prerogative of superior discernment, have manifested the propriety with which they claimed this pre-eminence, by treading this down-hill road, almost, if not quite, to the very bot

tom.

But, when a man has fallen so low as Socinianism, not merely for want of information, or by blindly and implicitly adopting the sentiments of other men, but by leaning to his own understanding, and preferring the conclusions of his own reason to the infallible dictates of the Holy Ghost; it is not

common for him to return gradually, by the retrograde path, first to Arianism, and then to the received doctrine of the Trinity. Yet, this was my case.—Dr. Clarke appeared to me so undeniably to establish his argument by express scriptural evidences, and so plausibly to defend his system on both sides, and to back his cause with so many seeming authorities; that I found myself unable any longer to maintain my Socinian principles, and was constrained to relinquish them as untenable: at the same time I was not aware of the flaw in his reasoning, and the unavoidable consequence of his middle doctrine; namely, "that the Son and Holy Spirit, however exalted, or dignified with names and titles, must either be mere creatures, or that otherwise there must be three Gods." Not perceiving this, and my newly acquired reverence for Scripture, and my old selfconfidence and fondness for reasoning, being, by this conciliating scheme, both gratified; I cordially acceded to his sentiments, and for a long time could not endure any other doctrine.

Nothing further of any consequence occurred, till about December 1776, when carelessly taking up Mr. Law's "Serious Call," a book I had hitherto treated with contempt, I had no sooner opened it, than I was struck with the originality of the work; and the spirit and force of argument with which it is written. I mean merely as to his management of the subjects of which he treats; for there are many things in it that I am very far from approving; and it certainly contains as little gospel, as any religious work I am acquainted with. But, though a very uncomfortable book to a person who is brought un

der a serious concern for his soul, and deep conviction of sin; it is very useful to prepare the way, to show the need that we have of a Saviour, and to enforce the practice of that holy diligence in the use of means, which the important interests of eternity reasonably demand. This was its use to me. By the perusal of it, I was convinced that I was guilty of great remissness and negligence: that the duties of secret devotion called for far more of time and attention, than had been hitherto allotted to them; and that, if I hoped to save my own soul, and the souls of those who heard me, I must in this respect greatly alter my conduct, and increase my diligence in seeking and serving the Lord. From that time I began to study in what manner my devotions might be rendered more fervent and pertinent; I transcribed and committed to memory, scriptural petitions; I employed some time in reading manuals of devotion; made attempts to compose prayers myself, and became more frequent and earnest, and, I trust, more spiritual, than heretofore, in my secret addresses to the Majesty of heaven.

About this time, after many delays, I complied with the admonitions of my conscience, and disengaged myself from all other employments, with a solemn resolution to leave all my temporal concerns in the hands of the Lord, and entirely to devote myself to the work of the ministry. Being thus become master of all my time, I dropped every other study, and turned the whole current of my reflections and inquiries into another channel; and for several years, I scarcely opened a book which treated of any thing besides religion.

The first step I took, after this disengagement, was, to keep common-place books. One I had for noting down remarkable passages out of other authors; and another for collecting into one view every text which I could meet with in Scripture, respecting the most important and controverted doctrines of the gospel. Though I held this but a short time, (for when my engagements multiplied I dropped it,) yet I found it very useful, in bringing me acquainted with many passages of the word of God, to which I had not hitherto much attended; and it prepared the way for writing my sermons, on doctrinal subjects, with the scriptural testimonies concerning the point in hand, in one view before me.

In January 1777, I met with a very high commendation of Mr. Hooker's writings, in which the honourable appellation of judicious was bostowed upon him. This excited my curiosity to read his works, which accordingly I did with great profit. In his "Discourse of Justification," (Edit. 1682, page 496), I met with the following remarkable passage, which, as well for its excellency, as for the effect it had upon my religious views, I shall, though rather long, transcribe:-" If our hands did never offer violence to our brethren, a bloody thought doth prove us murderers before him [God]. If we had never opened our mouth to utter any scandalous, of fensive, or hurtful word, the cry of our secret cogitations is heard in the ears of God. If we did not commit the sins, which daily and hourly in deed, word, or thought, we do commit; yet in the good things which we do, how many defects are there intermingled! God, in that which is done, respecteth