Truly there is a hidden, precious seed scat- have learned to expect less from it; seeing tered up and down, not only in these parts, but | more and more, that this is indeed a probation. in Holland and Germany, measurably gather- ary state of being, and that our sufferings and ed, both from the superstitious, and the vain joys in it are no otherwise important, than as world; and seeking a foundation whereon they they affect our attachment to the one great obmay rest the soles of their feet. This appeared ject of eternal good, and our communion with beyond all doubt, both from a little knowledge it in the silence of all that is fleshly. which we obtained in those countries of some, and from that most sure word of prophecy, which penetrates the obscure recesses of Sion's travellers, and unites them together in the ocean of gospel love. At Alençon, we were affectionately received by J. D. M., and courteously | by his wife, who, through the whole of our visit there, which was three days, appeared to enjoy the company of their visitors. Here we en deavoured to take fresh counsel about the way of proceeding to England, which ended in the conclusion, of George and Sarah Dillwyn going to the island of Gurnsey, to visit the few Friends there; and T. E., A. B., M. Dudley, my husband and myself, to London directly, by way of Dieppe, which we pursued accordingly, and arrived in London the 13th of the seventh month, 1788. We have had a solitary and exercising travel; but through infinite kindness, are again restored to our friends, and some of us to our native country. We attended the quarterly meeting of London: the sight of so many Friends was new and reviving to us; and the renewed evidence, that the Lord had been mercifully with us, that he had led us about, and instructed us, and tenderly preserved us when, in childlike simplicity, we depended upon his counsel, afforded, and still affords, abundant cause to praise him for his mercies past, and humbly hope for more. It is a joyous consideration, that the glorious light of the gospel is emitted from the Sun of Righteousness; and that, though instruments may be used to bear testimony to it, yet that he, before whom all nations are but as the drop of a bucket, the small dust of the balance, and who takes up the isles as a very little thing, can, when they fail, do his work without them, and “ glorify the house of his glory.” I humblingly reflect upon our late journey on the continent, and am bound to acknowledge (however as an individual I have failed in truly saying, "thy will be done") that the word of the Lord is faithfulness and truth. My mind is settled in a comfortable belief, that, through the creating and converting word of Omnipotence, the pure seed of divine life was visited with greater efficacy, than the discouragements which we were under, allowed us to know at that time. But ah, poor Amsterdam ! yea, poor Rotterdam! and many, many places on that side the continent, touching whose inhabitants my soul, at times, sings mournfully to its wellbeloved! Ninth month, 1788.-Thy letter saluted us two days after our arrival at home, and was truly cordial, reviving with great sweetness, our love and friendship with thee and thy dear wife, and also strengthening our hope, that He who, we trust, directed our steps to your parts, and mercifully preserved us through many jeopar After a journey of more than two thousand dies, will, as you and we surrender ourselves five hundred miles, attended with many diffi- to His all-wise disposal, so carry on the eternal culties, and close exercises of body and mind, purpose of his will as to increase our fruitfulshe was enabled to return to her home at Clon-ness to His glory; and though very remotely mel, in the eighth month, 1788, under the comfortable sense of divine favour and protection. Some parts of her letters written after her return, on a retrospect of this visit, appear to be worthy of insertion. situated one from another, make us partakers of the same living fountain, whose waters purify and gladden the baptised members of the church of Christ wherever scattered, or however obscured by the general cloud of darkness We have had, since leaving York, which the professors of Christianity are too apt many new scenes of trial, and new demonstra- to content themselves in. But as the eternal tions of Providential care; especially in the purposes of God are, the election of His own course of the long and deeply proving journey precious seed in us, (the Lamb that was slain) which we undertook, in hope that the Hand of and the reprobation of that spirit or seed of the Omnipotence led forth to the continent. The serpent, which with all the wrath and artifice state of mind in which I was involved previous of a fallen son of the morning, is ever seeking to it, the inexpressible humiliations and beset- to oppose the coming of the kingdom of the ments which attended the accomplishment of Messiah, how ought we to watch and be sober; it, and since that, the commemoration of un. considering ourselves no longer safe, nor obmerited support, with the renewed discovery of jects of divine favour, than whilst our spirits human frailty, seem to change, in many re- and affections are dedicated to His righteous spects, the face of this world to me, not that I | control, cleansing and sanctifying by the conam redeemed from the love of it; but that I verting influence of his own power. The seed with many in these parts, who have been mercifully gathered to the pure spring of eternal life, where true love and unity originate, and from whence they bring forth acceptable fruits; but, as those consolations sometimes abound, so do tribulations, on account of the spirit of the world, and many other snares, by which the enemy of all good is daily seeking to draw aside; and for want of watchfulness and care, he prevails to the great hurt of some, and casting a shade over the purity and simplicity that there is in the gospel of Christ. So that, not of the kingdom, through divine mercy remain- Eleventh month, 1788.-I can feelingly subing in us, and a disposition to cherish and em- scribe to the truth of what thou sayest, that it brace it, preserves from the sin which grieves is good to spend one's days in the bands of a the Spirit, and leads into death. To stand in free and sincere friendship, and in the unity of that which is elect, and to experience redemp- a solid and constant faith. We are favoured tion from that spirit which wars with it, ought invariably to be our aim; and if, in a pursuit so essentially necessary, we meet with suffering and deep spiritual conflict, yet remembering how inferior it all is to what He met with, who being truly the good Shepherd, laid down His life for the sheep; and experiencing Him to be in us the hope of glory, the afflictions of the present time are counted light, and the omnipotence of the Lord's everlasting arm (as we singly depend upon it) found to give victory over the enemies of our own hearts; to lead, in the meekness of wisdom, through persecu- withstanding we are encompassed with many tions from without, and to build up in the true blessings and advantages, we are not without faith and steadfastness of the great Captain, our portion of trials; and can therefore in who goes forth conquering and to conquer. I much sympathy and love, dip in spirit with know that religion is in a state with you, as thee, and feel thee as a fellow traveller in that well as with us, which requires a patient wait- path of suffering and probation which, in infiing and quiet hoping for the salvation of God; nite Wisdom, is cast up for the regeneration which is often near to be revealed when we and establishment of all those who walk in it, faint in our minds, and therefore fail of inher- and hold out unto the end. Fear not, neither iting that blessing the patriarch Jacob wrestled be dismayed, though thou feel thyself as a solifor, through a night of faithful and successful tary bird, as a pelican in the wilderness, or a exercise. Thy increase in heavenly treasure, sparrow upon the house top. He that is in my beloved friend and brother in the Truth, is thee, is greater, than he that is in the world. secretly and strongly coveted by me. My heart His wisdom will direct thee, His counsel guide often meditates upon thy solitary situation; and thee, and His everlasting omnipotent arm susin the renewings of gospel love, thou and thy tain thee, as thy faith is steadfast therein, and valuable wife are made like bone of my bone, thy patience maintained in travelling through and flesh of my flesh. May the God of all the abasing dispensations which may fall to thy grace and consolation strengthen and succour lot: for I do believe thou art intended to be a you! and I most assuredly believe he will, as man for God, and no wonder then, if thou sufyour love of His inward and spiritual appear- fer persecution and affliction. Remember they ance, and glorious work among men, grows as are but for a moment, and light, compared with a tree of righteousness, bringing forth fruit in that exceeding and eternal weight of glory, its season, and enduring with humble submis- which is revealed to the poor distressed mind, sion, every wintry and pruning dispensation. when it looks beyond the "things which are We have heard something of thy prospect of seen, to the things which are not seen." I feel devoting thyself to the education of children; much love to the dear young people amongst a work peculiarly wanted in your society, and you, and shall be glad for them to be told so; which, if thou enters into, in the simplicity and that the good account thou sent respecting and sincerity which Truth gives, will, there is them has rejoiced the hearts of many. If they no doubt, be a blessing to many, and thou follow on to know the Lord, their minds will thereby rendered a feeling subscriber to that increase in holy stability; the enjoyments of truth, "he that watereth, is watered himself." this world will fade in their view; and an inThou mayest find it an arduous undertaking, ward acquaintance with the spirit of Truth will and attended with mortifying circumstances; become most precious to them. They will not but the liberal soul, though it may suffer, do their work (like the Pharisees) to be seen knows best how to travel profitably through of men, but the solidity and weightiness of them all. It is not human approbation that we ought to depend upon, or have singly in view; but our study should be to show ourselves approved unto God; and then, whatever vocation in His wisdom we are placed in, or however weak we may feel ourselves, we shall have no just cause to be ashamed. | their spirits, will demonstrate that they have been with Jesus, from whom they receive all their qualifications to perform true worship, or do any thing that is good. Tenth month, 1788.-Thy letter, which arrived about a week ago, was sweetly refreshing and truly salutary to us; and I may now tell thee, that though acceptable, as an individual, in myself and circumstances attending our preI needed it not to revive the strength of affec- sent situation, I doubt not: "give me wisdom, tionate attachment; for my spirit often em- and reject me not from amongst thy children," braces thee in the flowings of increasing love is my secret petition. CHAPTER VI. Her concern respecting a Boarding School for female youth.-Visit to Friends families in Cork.-Journey to London.-Visit to Dunkirk, Holland, Pyrmont, &c. Her return-and decease.-Testimonies concerning her. Ir may now be proper to take some notice of a concern which had weightily engaged her attention, respecting the propriety of opening a boarding school at Clonmel, for the religious care and education of female youth. This subject had, for some time, been deeply pondered, both by herself and her husband; and had, at length, so matured in their minds, as to afford an evidence that it would be right to set forward the work. Their motives for this undertaking appear to have been purely disinterested, and with the single view of promoting a guarded and religious education of children; being themselves in easy circumstances, and under no necessity to pursue this employment, for family support. and fellowship, and feels thee, according to my small measure of true knowledge, in that precious unity which is better than all words (though ever so frequently and finely expressed) without it. Were it not for this cordial drop, which, like oil, sometimes swims on the top of our bitterest cups, our faith would hardly be strong enough to make us victorious over even the little perplexities attendant upon this pilgrimage and state of probation. But He who knows that we are "feeble folk," and graciously compassionates our case, becomes to us not only the shadow of a mighty rock in a weary land, but teaches us so to build our nest therein, that, in times of storm and trial, his holy inclosure preserves, his faith stays us, and this rock pours out precious oil. May our dwelling ever be here, and our inheritance be enlarged in that which is pure! Then let our allotments be what they may, whether our bo dies inhabit the dark, or the more illuminated parts of the earth; whether we are encompassed with sorrow and travail, or have to rejoice more sensibly in the revealed salvation of the almighty Arm; all will work together for good, and we grow in qualification to worship and magnify that great and excellent Name, which only is worthy of the incense that in every place and situation is to be offered. Eleventh month, 1788.—If I know my own heart, it is my desire to know my business, and simply to do it, whether it is taken cognizance of or not, by the truly wise and honourable; whose friendship, though strengthening, consoling, and therefore acceptable, may, if the heart be not in some degree redeemed and redeeming from the mysterious workings of self-love, be perverted, and instead of nourishing the pure immortal part, build us up in an airy notion of our own merits and attainments, and prove a snare instead of a blessing. A little acquaint- Though under doubts and discouragements ance with one's own human nature, a frequent of mind, arising chiefly from the humble sense detection of its corruption, and the perplexities of her own weakness, and want of qualificainto which it introduces us when its subtle arguments prevail, are enough to weary out a mind blessed with the least sincere aspiration after permanent good, durable riches and righteousness; and to content us in the most obscure situation, if, through unmerited mercy, it may but be in the courts of the Lord; with the coarsest food, if but ministered to us from the hand which is full of blessings; and under the most unpleasant work, if faith is vouchsafed, that in love and pity it will be accepted. Some of us here feel it to be a low time; my knees often are ready to smite together, and my soul is exceeding sorrowful. That there are causes When we consider the susceptibility of youth to early impressions, with the general permanency thereof on their minds; and reflect that they are soon to participate in the concerns of life, and will, in a few years, be the principals on this stage of being; we cannot but perceive the extensive importance, both to individuals and the community, of an early moral and religious education; nor be surprised that this earnest labourer for the good of mankind, should feel it her duty to cultivate this ground of general reformation, and to encourage others, upon pure principles, to engage in an employment so truly honourable and productive of good. tions for so arduous and important a service, she was enabled to open the proposed institution, the month after her return from the continent. She was much concerned that the children committed to their care, might be preserved in innocence, and trained in the paths of piety and virtue; and when not called from home on religious service, laboured faithfully in advancing such measures as tended to promote the solid advantages of this institution. On the subject of this school, there does not appear to be much remaining written by herself: a few of her letters have, however, been collected, expressive of her tenderness lest she -Dost thou not wonder at the undermight interfere with other institutions; and of taking we have in view? My dear R. G. has her cautious steppings in this concern; with di- kindly condescended to make ample preparavers other instructive sentiments; most of which have been extracted, and are as follows: The prospect of removing to Ireland in any line, continues to my mind very awful; and undertaking a matter of so much consequence as the proposed school, is not less so: but if our friends whose judgments we esteem, feel uneasy with it, and freely express themselves, it will rather be a relief than a disappointment; especially as we have no intention of getting, or saving money by it to ourselves. If we are but favoured to see the work of our day, and found faithful in the performance of it, though ever so humbling to flesh and blood, I sometimes think, it is all that I desire. I do not like the thoughts of crowding new institutions upon Friends, imposing objects, or doing anything which has the remotest appearance of opposing our own or others' prospects, by dividing or scattering the little strength, which, if put together, might prove no more than sufficient for one undertaking at first; though afterwards, it might increase for whatever further openings might be perceived in the Truth. I have, at times, been much depressed with a fear of interfering with the school at Mountmellick, and discouraging the valuable Friends engaged therein. I felt most easy to write them a few lines, with a view, as I tell them, "to open a door for a free communication of sentiments, respecting what we both have in view;" expressing my love and esteem for them, and belief, that as both they and we are disinterested in our views, desirous of promoting the same cause, and rightly directed, we shall move, either separately or together, with a comfortable degree of unity and sympathy; and requesting their openness with me, in saying whether any thing has occurred to them, on hearing of our plan, which would be any strength or encouragement to them, and which is in our power to afford; whether they wish us to be united in our undertakings, or think that two schools will answer; and lastly, whether they do not think it will be better for them steadily to pursue their own prospects, till our house is opened, (if ever it should be) and then to stand resigned, either to unite or keep separate, as at that time appears best. So much seemed a little relief to myself to say, feeling great affection and tenderness towards them; at the same time that my own faith is nearly tried. I, however, feel a hope as I am writing, that if our offering is not accepted, but proves like David's proposing to build the house, that, nevertheless, we shall feel that secret supporting language, "thou didst well, in that it was in thine heart, &c." tions for a boarding school for girls, and has built a considerable addition to our present dwelling; which stands upon an island, in a navigable river called the Suir. It is about a hundred yards across, and near a quarter of a mile long; has on one side of it the quay and town, and on the other, cultivated mountains, which seem almost to hang over it. The prospect from the front of the house, is through the garden and a pasture, to the river and valley, and is terminated by a very high and rugged mountain, several miles distant. The place is altogether very commodious, and pleasant for the intended purpose; but how we shall meet with suitable, disinterested persons for undertaking the immediate care of the children, &c., is not clear; a hope however cheers us, that if our views are right, and deserving a blessing, all things needful will be afforded us in the needful time. I should like to have such, for almost every station in the family, as possess a sincere concern for the prosperity of the work, and find a dedication in their own hearts to it being afraid of drawing any, merely to gratify ourselves, that have not some such foundation to support them in seasons of trial, which generally, more or less, attend the most upright and disinterested designs. -I have had a very low dull time of late about this undertaking, from a fear that we shall not be found equal to it. I do not mean, in the sight of men, for probably we could not please all, let us do ever so well; but I mean in the sight of Him whose blessing is more craved and panted after, than the most specious appearance it can wear. -Having formerly mentioned the discouragements of my mind in the setting out of the school we are engaged in, it is but just also to say, that things respecting it now wear a pleasanter aspect; with a hope that that which was sown in weakness, seems, through divine help, for to that only it can be attributed, rising into greater strength. The minds of some of our precious charge are evidently increasing in verdure, by the dew of heaven; and, in the general, innocence is to be felt from the influence of their spirits. Our helpers also grow, we hope in the root of true religion. Indeed, did the world, or our religious and civil concerns with its inhabitants, speak no more trouble to us than what we find upon our little island, it would be too great a state of prosperity for human nature profitably to be indulged with; for even that calls for a watchfulness and industry, which the flesh is at enmity with, and in which I fear being found wanting. To feel an evidence that we are under the care and blessing of the Shepherd and Bishop of souls, after conflicting doubtings respecting it, is such a cordial as reanimates the soul to fight the good fight of faith, and to lay hold on eternal life. In seasons of favour this has been the case; but it is hard to lay down all these precious gifts, still to walk as the Master walked; to testify, by our dedication, that we believe that he came to save sinners, and as to the means whereby his glorious work is promoted, to say, "not my will, but thine be done." reveals, according to his purposes, those mys teries unto them, which are hid from the wise and prudent. -That junction between the monthly meetings is comforting, if only from the strength which the few living members may be suffered to feel in the unity of one another's spirits, and the blessings which may be upon their endeavours to wash one another's feet, and to bear up one another's hands. That love which has heretofore flowed in my heart as a river, to the poor in spirit on that side the county, sweetly revives as I am writing, under a renewed hope, that the eternal Fountain of life will not be closed among them, however low and unworthy they may sometimes feel themselves to be, of its pure refreshment. And if it be in abundant mercy kept open, and they that are acquainted with it gather to it, having their qualifications from it, and use them under its influence, they will be a blessing one to another, and more may be gathered to an inward experience of the same purifying unction, than, in some seasons of discouragement, they have an idea of, Eleventh month, 1788.-We have twelve girls, and expect more soon; so that thou wilt believe cares multiply upon us; but all our endeavours will be ineffectual, both in this, and all other undertakings, except the blessing which makes truly rich, in unmerited mercy, rests upon them. Did the world know, how dependent all substantial comfort and permanent joy are upon this heavenly gift, people in general would toil less, think less of their own wisdom, and more simply follow that day-star which ariseth in the heart, and directeth to the pure life, in which the Father is well pleased. It is a comfortable belief to my mind, that thou art arrested by this precious principle of divine light, which discovers things as they really are. Be not afraid to be led by it, into ways thou knowest not, and into paths thou hast not seen; for, in due time, it will dispel the darkness before thee, and make crooked things straight. One of the most beautiful, though most abasing dispensations, in the true Christian progress, is that of becoming as a little child; the judgment is here taken away for purification, and to be -We have been steadily engaged with made truly useful in the Lord's work, the soul sitting in four families a day; and though we breathes only to the parent for food, and de- often seem ready to give up, and feel like impends upon no other for counsel. It is gene-prisoned spirits, yet, upon the whole, we have rally weak, but knowing itself so, it is safe. Ono just cause to be discouraged; best help behappy state to be rightly brought into! may we never be ashamed of it, but for our encouragement remember, that of such is the kingdom of heaven. -1788.-Self-gratification in our own way and time, has not been allotted us for the path to solid peace; and if increasing humiliation should prove the food most convenient for us, we wish to accept it from that Hand, which has an indisputable right to do with us as seemeth good in the sight of infinite Wisdom, and which has power to convert the greatest trials into true spiritual refreshment. -The ways of infinite Wisdom with those He chooses to bring through and redeem from the fallacy of human understanding and corrupt nature, are so incomprehensible and humiliating, as indeed put us out of the capacity of saying, "what doest thou?" for who hath been his counsellor? seeing he giveth not account to any of his matters, till the simplicity of a babe in Christ is attained unto, when he In the twelfth month 1788 she engaged, with other Friends, in a visit to the meetings and families of Friends in the city of Cork; and during her employment in that service, the following letters appear to have been written. Though they do not express much account of the visit, yet they may be acceptable, from the instructive remarks they contain, and the weighty and concerned spirit which they manifest under this engagement. ing near to strengthen us with might in our inner man, or such a proportion of it as is necessary for the performance of, and perseverance in, the work of the present day. As doing the will of our heavenly Father, is the only thing really worth living for, I wish to consider it as an unmerited favour, to know what that will is, and to be furnished with any degree of capacity to do it. -The season of the year, the closeness of the city, and the complicated occasions of heaviness and depression, in the view of the state of things here, all contribute to suffering both of body and mind; so that were we clear of unprofitably adding thereto, we do not lack a pretty full cup thereof. Indeed we have no business to seek for a portion or baptism differing in nature from that which the great Pattern himself submitted to, and which the true seed here and elsewhere, have still, for wise purposes, to experience. -Whether any good may come of our |