the true state of the case, let him imagine a poor fellow thrown down in the mud by an host of opposers, and thus held down until by and by some one who had all along professed to be the poor fellow's friend, and had reprobated the conduct of his opposers, finds it convenient to turn to, join hands with them, and in addition to all their weight, throw his own ponderous weight on him too, and, forsooth, begin to call him very obstinate, and willful, because he will not stand up !!! Now this is an exact illustration of the case. Not that I care one straw about the doings of the Elder's Conference in respect to me, that is, as to the validity thereof, for they acted in no church capacity at all; besides I had withdrawn from the connexion before, and forwarded my letter to the Quarterly Meeting, accordingly. Yet this makes no difference to them, as it respects the intention evidently to do me what harm they could, touching my standing as a minister, and if my lips have not been closed in silence, yet, there can, I think, be no propriety in their asking any thanks at all on the account of it. So as it respects a willingness, they have thrown me down, keep me down, and Mr. *** has added his weight to the rest, and now thinks I am very obstinate, that I won't stand up! !!!*

I am willing if I am not right in my ideas on the subject, to be informed wherein I err. And now I will ask the reader, whether I am justifiable or not, in stating what I have. I am, I trust, willing to forgive injuries, and to meet all Christians on consistent bible ground; but I do not intend to trifle with the discipline of the church of Christ. Now the Free Will Baptist Elders' Conference, have certainly pretended to exclude me from their fellowship, and if they have "Thus saith the Lord," for their proceedings, why, they are sacredly hound to maintain the stand which

* Mr. *** says that he had nothing to do with the proceedings of the Free Will Baptists against me at the time-No. But after he had seen their conduct in trying to put me down, and at the time condemned it, he now throws his weight upon me. Does that make it any better?!

they have taken. And if this be so, most certainly, if I do not repent and acknowledge to them, I shall finally be shut out of the kingdom of heaven; for what is bound on earth, agreeably with the word of God, is bound in heaven! But if they have taken an unwarrantable and an unscriptural stand against me; if they have persecuted me for opposing iniquity; and if they have done all in their power to hedge up my way when God has sent me to preach the gospel; then let them be assured, and all who may join with them in such an unholy oppression, that great is the truth, and that it will prevail. I have felt wounded, if I may so speak, to the very centre of my soul, in consequence of the prejudice which it seems to me was intentionally raised against me in the neighbourhood of Mr. *** as already stated. In the commencement, I wrote to one of the leading men of the society, to endeavour to explain the true state of the case; but instead of obtaining any satisfaction, I received a letter in answer, fraught with expressions, calculated to cause still more disagreeable feelings. I mourned before God, and besought him, if it might be his will, to remove me from a world of ingratitude, misrepresentation, inconstancy, tribulation and wo! I was, perhaps, wrong in this, and did not exercise that patience and resignation to my lot, which a Christian ought, in the greatest trials, and under the most distressing circumstances. Let those who may have had some knowledge of this affair, and who may have joined in the clamour of condemning me, remember, that I am journeying to meet them at the bar of God, where the cause will be settled forever! As bad as I may be, I rejoice in the idea of a JUDGMENT DAY!!

P. S.-I would here mention that I have lately been informed that Mr. David Jencks, who was one of the referees, was of a different opinion from the verdict, and long contended to give us the house, or at least divide, but was out-voted. This I am informed has been stated by another of the referees, who stated it when it was mentioned that masonry was thought by

Q

some to have had an influence in the affair, and also that they himself thought that we ought to have had the house, but that they could not consistently give it to us. I wrote some questions and sent to him, requesting of him distinct answers, in relation to the subject.

I have not yet received a direct answer from the gentleman in due form, but have understood that he assigned this as a reason why the referees could not give us the house, viz. because we excluded Dea. B. *** and others; the referees considering we had no right to do this. This corresponds with the plea which was set up by our opponents. How reasonable and just this is, I leave for the reader to judge. I trust however, that even these gentlemen who set on the case, if they shall take the trouble to review it, will find that they erred in judgment or rather were misled, Elders Buzzell and Chace themselves being judges. Any other error I do not impute to them.

Reflections.

In view of the proceedings of the Free Will Baptists, in respect to the meeting-house, and other conduct towards me, I am fully satisfied that although they did very wrong, yet God did perfectly right. I deserved all this chastisement, and infinitely more, for my selfish sectarian attachment to that denomination. This I have already mentioned, and it seemed altogether proper, and infinite wisdom saw fit so to order it, that this " hobby," (I mean sectarianism) on which I had rode with so much self complacency, should throw me off and bite me!

I do not lay much stress on ordinary dreams, but I remember of dreaming just before this difficulty took place, of riding full speed, when suddenly the horse threw me off and tried to kill me! And just before the notable proceedings of the Elders' conference, whose letter I have given verbatim, I was most sensibly and remarkably affected in my sleep, by imagining that I received a blow that almost terminated my

existence, and at the same moment, accompanying it, the name of a Free Will Baptist preacher, of NewHampshire, who was very active in the affair, seemned to be really sounded in my ears. It awoke me from my sleep, and I soon found it verified.

I will here take the liberty to warn my reader to beware of the baneful spirit of selfish sectarianism.— It is to be feared that it has a prevalence in the minds of most professors of religion, at the present time, to an extent most injurious to the cause of truth and righteousness in the earth. It closes the minds of thousands in error, and forever shackles them with the sentiments of their denomination, whether right or wrong. If they undertake to investigate the theological opinions of others, they do it with such a jaundiced eye of prejudice, as to preclude all conviction of the truth of sentiments which they have been predisposed to condemn or the futility of their own.

The simple name of their denomination, seems frequently to be their idol; and one would think, sounds more sweetly in their ears, than the adorable name of Jesus! O what a great pity, that the mystical body of Christ, our common Lord, should thus be torn and wounded. I am not pleading for that thing falsely called charity, which is continually crying up an indiscriminate fellowship of every thing, which pleases to put on the garb of religion, and the naine of truth; although as far from what it professes, as light is from total darkness; by no means. We ought to be extremely careful what we receive for truth. We should search for truth, as if we realized that our eternal all depended on the result; yet this care by no means precludes the free investigation of our sentiments, and those of others; but rather leads immediately to it; and solemnly forbids us on peril of the displeasure of God, being warped so far by prejudice, as to reject the light of scripture and reason from predominating in our minds. Yet how many are there, who, when you read plain scripture to them, reject it, because, for

sooth, it contradicts the ideas of their denomination. Now this is what I would warn my reader to beware of; for how can we expect that God will look ou such conduct but with displeasure and holy indignation. Jesus Christ says, that his sheep shall never perish ; yet this has no effect on the minds of thousands, towards convincing them that it is so; why? because our denomination, our preachers, our great and good men say, that such an idea is a branch of Calvinism, and a fruitful twig of the "horrible decrees!"

I would advise you to be careful, reader, or you may be filled with your own ways. God may chastise you in the same way that he did me, and although there is no more thanks due to them, who were used as the rod, on this score, than there was to the armies of the Assyrians, whom God took and used to punish Israel, yet I acknowledge that it was that which I deserved from my God for worshipping the denomination to which I belonged. We must stand as single souls before the bar of the great I AM, and happy will it be for us, if it shall be found that our God on the earth, was the Lord the creator of all worlds!

CHAPTER IX.

Further examination and renunciation of the Arminian system, &c.

I now resume the subject in respect to the exercises of my mind and a further examination and renunciation of the Arminian System. And the question how one comes to Christ, and submits to God; while another with precisely the same privileges and as good by nature, continues impenitent, rejects Christ, and lives and dies in rebellion against God, I soon found could not be answered by Arminians according to their system. It never has been satisfactorily answered by them, nor never will be. I have already made some