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men; and the lives of the saints bear witness to the same frailty of human nature. No one who remembers the frivolity of S. Theresa, which she was afterwards so astonished at God's mercy in bearing with, at the very time when she was receiving the most striking spiritual manifestations of JESUS, will be surprised at finding the same apparent inconsistency in the history of one whose inner life appears to me to resemble in many respects, although of course at a great distance, the experience of that highly favoured Saint. When we bear in mind that all the good there is in any of God's saints is from Him, and all that is of their own is only evil; their very sins and imperfections only exhibit to us in greater power, the super-abounding Love of the Good Shepherd, Who leads His sheep not only out of the world, but even out of themselves. The great lesson to be drawn from seeing that they were of like passions with ourselves is, that we should not rest in our present state and excuse ourselves by their faults ; but, when we see how they have been drawn even from such an imperfect state to what God's grace has made them, it ought to show us that we are never to “sleep in despair and


I cannot."



To Miss E. W

Dec. 23, 1853. I have come to the conclusion that you envy me my balls ! or else I am sure you would not scold me so unmercifully for enjoying them! If you had given good lecture on love, it would have been less

I see

非 *

than I deserved. The pomps and vanities of the ballroom are the last things that attract me; I enjoy it merely as I do a ride : my partner is my horse, if he goes well, I enjoy myself accordingly. no more danger in my learning to love the world by going to balls, than for you in taking your country walks with the C

-S; it is the people in the world that there is a danger of my making idols of; but at the same time there are temptations for most people that would be very prejudicial.

Is it not a nuisance haying Christmas Day on a Sunday ? May I wish you a merry one ? I shall at all events be in the right box if I wish you a very happy new year; and I hope you will like the Church Service which I will send by the same post, with the leaf turned down where you are to read; I hope you will find it useful to read to some of your poor people. I don't like to go about without papa's sanction, and though I have asked him several times, he never gives me anything to do.

Do you know I could almost envy your little friend Gracie,

"The less of this cold world the more of heaven ;

The briefer life the earlier immortality.'

If only JESUS would receive me as one of His, how joyfully would I this moment yield up my life to Him. Death to me has nothing gloomy in its aspect; to the Christian it is but the bright entrance into a still brighter home. I cannot tell you how last spring I longed to die. I was very happy here; I do not think I murmured at having to remain : but if God had seen fit to call me to Himself, how thankfully would I have obeyed. I never did wish to be old, I don't see what there is here worth living for, except to do our FATHER's Will; and how much easier will it be to do it there, when He sees fit to call us to our rest! I know I am most unfit to die, but I cannot dread it; I used to shudder at the thoughts of it, and at the idea of the Judgment; but since this time last year, when as it were death and I met face to face, I look upon him as a friend whom I long to meet again. Last spring I dreamed a dream-I could not tell you half its awfulness,-it was the Last Day; I saw the angels descending while the sun shone bright and all things went on the same: then, as they got more distinct, I heard the trumpet sound, heaven and earth passed away, and dead and living stood before the throne of the eternal Judge. I can see it all now, it was not like a dream. I prayed, and thought of my sins, but yet was not afraid. The sentence was passed, and I awoke almost to murmur at finding myself once more in this vain world. E—though Death and Judgment have no terrors for me, I do tremble when I think how calmly I can look upon them; for when I remember how sinful I am, and how unmindful of God, it seems as though He must have permitted my heart to be quite hardened. I feel as if I ought to fear, as if I had no right to trust in Him and to feel safe; for oh! how awful to be undeceived at the last moment !

“ Adieu, dearest E-; pray for me as I will pray for you, that whenever He shall call, we may be prepared to obey, and meet again in heaven.”




“I am the Good Shepherd, and know My sheep, and am known of Mine."

The Lord is my Shepherd : therefore can I lack nothing."

The following letters require some explanation, and oblige me to say more of myself than is perhaps desirable; but the circumstances with which they are connected had, by God's gracious overruling, much to do with my sister's subsequent rapid progress in holiness, and therefore I must ask the reader's kind indulgence while I say a few words relating to myself.

After I had been about six months a deacon, it pleased God of His infinite mercy to show me that it was vain for me to expect to bring others to Him, until I had myself been made to realize my own lost state, and had fled for refuge to that blessed SAVIOUR Who “is come to seek and to save that which was lost." Not that I ever doubted for a moment my need of CHRIST, or His power and willingness to save me; but it appeared to me that a deeper work of repentance must be wrought in me before I could venture to claim as mine the benefits He had purchased for me on the Cross. I could not believe that now was the accepted time, and that my miserable condition was the very ground on which I might plead the favour of Him Who receiveth sinners. A “Letter on the Necessity of Conversion," giving the experience of a brother clergyman who had been delivered from uncertainties similar to those which perplexed me, was by God's blessing of great service to me, in helping me to see that peace with God through faith in JESUS CHRIST was attainable ; and also that the Fathers of the Church had always taught what my heart told me was necessary for me, but which I had ignorantly conceived to be inconsistent with the teaching of the Church. Still, for a long time my irresolute will refused to accept of what my reason was convinced God was perfectly willing to give me; and when my sister wrote to me for advice on the subject, I felt quite incompetent to answer her questions. A lurking doubt that perhaps after all I might be deceived, made me shrink from plunging any one else into the misery that I was in myself, until from my own experience I could show them the way of deliverance; and this will account for the strange expressions Melise refers to in the second of these letters.

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