your feelings, I am indeed thankful, dear William, for so far I cannot but believe you are right, and I shall and do pray with a joyful hope that GOD will give you peace and comfort. Far be it from me to doubt that Peace is given, even on this earth, to all who go for it. Miserable indeed would have been my life if I had not found it. Can you think, dear William, that I could have stood calmly on the brink of the grave, if I had not felt that CHRIST was sufficient for me? But while I am still so sinful and weak that I fall every hour, every moment, I cannot, Idare not believe that I am certain to be saved as the Wesleyans [query Calvinists ?] do; and I trembled lest you were seeking such a delusion. To some who are at the point to die, doubtless such a certainty is given; but even S. Paul tells us more than once in the course of his preaching that it was not impossible for him to be a castaway; and shall we presume upon that favour of a merciful GOD? But to know and feel His love to us is joy unspeakable; but how does it humble us on account of our sins and ingratitude; the more we realize such exceeding love, the more shall we detest and abhor ourselves for so continually grieving such a loving FATHER!

* Real repentance must be and is lasting; such miserable wretches as we are cannot hope to have done with it in this life; we must do as David did, 'Go mourning all our days;' for though GOD has blotted out our sins, they must not be forgotten by us.

"Still His service is a joyful one, and until we find a joy in glorifying Him both by our words and actions we are not fit for heaven; for if our time there is to be spent in praising Him, and that gives us no pleasure, heaven, if we were there, would be no heaven to us.

"And now, my dear William, a few words in answer to your letter to me. You say 'you thought I was really

anxious about it,' but that if I am not, of course it is of no consequence.' What do you mean? That my salvation is of no consequence? or that I can be saved without conversion? I hope I am converted, for I do feel that CHRIST has suffered all for me, and the consciousness prompts me to use every endeavour to glorify Him by my life and conversation; though, alas! it is little I do, and my hateful reserve prevents me from doing much that I might. But oh, dearest William, do let us be one in CHRIST, and speak freely to each other about what concerns eternity.

"Ever your affectionate sister,
“M. H. M. BROWNLOW."

I sent her the Life of the Rev. R. A. Suckling, to explain better what I meant. In her reply she says:

“*** But last night I was taking more particular notice of those parts which described his peace of mind, as it was in illustration of that you sent it me. He certainly did enjoy it; but it seems to have come to him very gradually, without his seeking or even noticing it at first; differing there from Henry Martyn who prayed earnestly for it, and obtained it in direct answer to his prayers. It was reading his Life that first made me seek the sense of pardon. Before, my soul was always restlessly inquiring, 'What must I do to be saved?' How I then longed to ask some one; but there was no one to whom I dared to apply! I remember once saying how much I wished there was some Clergyman I could ask, but only got well laughed at. Clergymen would do much more good if they could gain the confidence of the young,

before reserve becomes a habit. I have been much left to myself, and doubtless it was ordered for the best by our loving FATHER; but the soul longs for sympathy. Will you not let me confide in you, dear William? May we not, through His Grace, be the means of helping each other on towards heaven? We are both most deeply interested in the same object. I long to hear from you again."

As my mind was still very much troubled, and I was leaving my Curacy, I contemplated retiring for a time from ministerial work, until, having been myself taught of GOD, I should be qualified really to teach others. This made my family naturally uneasy about me, and my sister wrote to me on the subject:

"My dearest William,

* It is the hardest part of all, to give up our wills to Him, and to say with sincerity, Thy will be done,' when we have been asking with our whole souls for something we want,-something perhaps on which we feel our very salvation depends.

"William, dearest William, will you pardon your foolish little sister if she ventures to question your present intentions? I am most incompetent to advise you; but I have prayed that, if I am about to say what is not strictly in accordance with His Will, it may have no weight with you, and so I venture. To retire now, even for a short time, from the ministry, is it not, after having put your hand to the plough, looking back? I felt it would be in my case, when I felt I could not teach in the Sunday School as I ought, and dreaded lest the curse of those who offend one of CHRIST'S little ones should fall upon

me; so with fear and trembling I continued praying more and more earnestly that GOD would obliterate the evil I taught them from their hearts, but water the good. And He has been with me, and given me to feel I was doing right. I speak of myself only, because I can better understand what I have felt myself, and so better explain what I mean.

"I wish you could lay your burden at the foot of the Cross, for CHRIST's yoke is easy, and His burden light, casting all your cares upon Him, for He careth for you. Is it not disparaging His Atonement, if we doubt His power or His willingness both to forgive us all our sins, and to prevent us from doing harm, if we ask Him; nay, if we doubt His power of working good even through us who are so utterly incapable of doing any good things of ourselves ?

"You have taken authority to execute the Office of a Deacon in the Church,' and have solemnly promised to perform the duties appertaining thereunto with GOD'S help. Can you believe that He will bless your giving up those duties, breaking those promises, to the comfort of your soul? O William, do not act without striving to give up every wish and will of your own, and asking Him to guide you. And is it not then your duty to submit to those whom He has placed over you?

"With many prayers believe me, dear William,
"Ever your loving sister,

Again,

"M. H. M. B."

"Nov. 4th, 1854.

66 * * * You have been called to the ministry, and must minister of what you have received, not wait till you have received more. I feel very happy now when I

think of you, dear William, which I have never done thoroughly before; but now GOD has begun the good work in you, He will accomplish it even to the end. And yet I half dread to see you, for fear our old reserve shall rise up in its old place as a barrier between us, and then it will be worse than ever. Why should this be? surely it is not right. Is it our pride which is not yet humbled? or are we ashamed of the Faith which we profess ?"

"It is indeed much to be lamented that even really true friends so seldom talk upon what will be the never-ending topic of eternity; does it not show how depraved our hearts are? for 'out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh,' so if our hearts did abound in holy thoughts, surely our words would be holy too? but when only just now and then our thoughts turn upon religion we are ashamed to confess them.

"I should like to know your friend S, though I am afraid I should not quite like to hear her talk if she is fond of disputations, although they must be till the Kingdom of CHRIST comes on earth; still I would rather trust to those wiser than myself to reason upon such things, and then I will choose those opinions which from their reasonings come with most authority to my mind; but I cannot bear to hear parties abuse each other because neither of their minds are sufficiently clear to discern the exact truth. Charity, dearest ECHRIST died for all;

Let us seek after Christian and then we shall love all, because and let us not judge others, lest

we ourselves be judged according to our own measure.