staggerings, you see so much probability of the truth of Scripture and the life to come, that you are resolved to venture (and part with, if called to it) all worldly hopes and happiness for the hope of that promised glory, and to make it the chiefest business of your life to attain it, and do deny yourself the pleasures of sin for that end; this is a true saving faith, as is evident by its victory; notwithstanding all the infidelity, atheism, and blasphemy that is mixed with it.

But again, let me advise you to take heed of this heinous sin, and bewail and detest the very least degree of it. It is dangerous when the devil strikes at the very root, and heart, and foundation of all your religion. There is more sinfulness and danger in this than in many other sins. And therefore let it never be motioned to your soul without abhorrence. Two ways the devil hath to move it. The one is by his immediate inward suggestions; these are bad enough. The other is by his accursed instruments; and this is a far more dangerous way; whether it be by books, or by the words of men. And yet if it be by notorious wicked men, or fools, the temptation is the less; but when it is by men of cunning wit, and smooth tongues, and hypocritical lives (for far be that wickedness from me, as to call them godly, or wise, or honest,) then it is the greatest snare the devil hath to lay. O just and dreadful God! Did I think one day that those that I was then praying with, and rejoicing with, and that went up with me to the house of God in familiarity, would this day be blasphemers of thy sacred name, and deny the Lord that bought them, and deride thy holy word as a fable, and give up themselves to the present pleasures of sin, because they believe not thy promised glory? O righteous and merciful God, that hast preserved the humble from this condemnation, and hast permitted only the proud and sensual professors to fall into it, and hast given them over to hellish conversations according to the nature of their hellish opinions, that they might be rather a terror to others than a snare! I call their doctrine and practice hellish, from its original, because it comes from the father of lies, but not that there is any such opinion or practice in hell. He that tempts others to deny the godhead, the Christian faith, the Scripture, the life to come, doth no whit doubt of any one

of them himself, but believes and trembles. O fearful blindness of the professors of religion, that will hear, if not receive these blasphemies from the mouth of an apostate professor, which they would abhor if it came immediately from the devil himself. With what sad complaints and tremblings do poor sinners cry out (and not without cause,) 'O I am haunted with such blasphemous temptations, that I am afraid lest God should suddenly destroy me, that ever such thoughts should come into my heart.' But if an instrument of the devil come and plead against the Scripture or the life to come, or Christ himself, they will hear him with less detestation. The devil knows that familiarity will cause us to take that from a man, which we would abhor from the devil himself immediately. I intend not to give you now a particular preservation against each of these temptations. Only let me tell you, that this is the direct way to infidelity, apostacy, and the sin against the Holy Ghost; and if by any seducers the devil do overcome you herein, you are lost forever, and there will be no more sacrifice for your sin, but a fearful expectation of judgment, and that fire which shall devour the adversaries of Christ.

Doubt 18. I have so great fear of death, and unwillingness to be with God, that I am afraid I have no grace for if I had Paul's spirit, I should be able to say with him, "I desire to depart and be with Christ," whereas now, no news would be to me more unwelcome.'

Answ. There is a loathness to die that comes from a desire to do God more service; and another that comes froin an apprehension of unreadiness, when we would fain have more assurance of salvation first; or would be fitter to meet our Lord. Blame not a man to be somewhat backward, that knows it must go with him for ever in heaven or hell, according as he is found at death. But these two be not so much a loathness to die, as a loathness to die now at this time. There is also in all men living, good and bad, a natural abhorrence and fear of death. God hath put this into men's nature (even in innocency) to be his great means of governing the world. No man would live in order, or be kept in obedience, but for this. He that cares not for his own life, is master of another's. doth not root out this abhorrence of death, no

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more than it unmanneth us; only it restrains it from excess, and so far overcometh the violence of the passion, by the apprehensions of a better life beyond death, that a believer may the more quietly and willingly submit to it. Paul himself desireth not death, but the life which followeth it. "He desireth to depart and be with Christ;" that is, he had rather be in heaven than on earth, and therefore he is contented to submit to the penal sharp passage. God doth not command you to desire death itself, nor forbid you fearing it as an evil to nature, and a punishment of sin. Only he requireth you to desire the blessedness to be enjoyed after death, and that so earnestly as may make death itself the easier to you. Thank God, if the fear of death be somewhat abated in you, though it be not sweetened. Men may pretend what they please, but nature will abbor death as long as it is nature, and as long as man is man; else temporal death had been no punishment to Adam, if his innocent nature had not abhorred it as it was an evil to it. Tell me but this, If death did not stand in your way to heaven, but that you could travel to heaven, as easily as to London, would not you rather go thither and be with Christ than stay in sin and vanity here on earth, so be it you were certain to be with Christ? If you can say yea to this, then it is apparent that your loathness to die is either from the uncertainty of your salvation, or from the natural averseness to a dissolution, or both; and not from an unwillingness to be with Christ, or a preferring the vanities of this world before the blessedness of that to come. Lastly, It may be God may lay that affliction on you, or use some other necessary means with you yet, before you die, that may make you more willing than now you are.

Doubt 19. God layeth upon me such heavy afflictions, that I cannot believe he loves me. He writeth bitter things against me, and taketh me for his enemy. I am afflicted in my health, in my name, in my children, and nearest friends, and in my estate. I live in continual poverty, or pinching distress of one kind or other; yea, my very soul is filled with his terrors, and night and day is his hand heavy upon me.'

Answ. I have said enough to this before, nor do I think it necdful to say any more, when the Holy Ghost hath said so much; but

only to desire you to read what he hath written in Heb. xii. and Job throughout; and Psal. xxxvii. lxxiii. and divers others. The next doubt is contrary.

Doubt 20. I read in Scripture, that through many tribulations we must enter into heaven, and that all that will live godly in Christ Jesus, must suffer persecution; and that he that taketh not up his cross, and so followeth Christ, cannot be his disciple. And that if we are not corrected, we are bastards, and not sons. But I never had any affliction from God, but have lived in constant prosperity to this day. Christ saith, "Woe to you when all men speak well of you." But all men, for aught I know, speak well of me; and therefore I doubt of my sincerity.'

Answ. I would not have mentioned this doubt, but that I was so foolish as to be troubled with it myself; and perhaps some others may be as foolish as I; though I think but few in these times: our great friends have done so much to resolve them more effectually than words could have done. 1. Some of the texts speak only of man's duty of bearing persecution and tribulation, when God lays it on us, rather than of the event, that it shall certainly come. 2. Yet I think it ordinarily certain, and to be expected as to the event. Doubtless tribulation in God's common road to heaven.

Every ignorant person is so well aware of this, that they delude themselves in their sufferings, saying, that God hath given them their punishment in this life, and therefore they hope he will not punish them in another. If any soul be so silly as to fear and doubt for want of affliction; if none else will do the cure, let them follow my counsel, and I dare warrant them for this, and I will advise them to nothing but what is honest, yea, and necessary, and what I have tried effectually upon myself; and I can assure you it cured me, and I can give it a 'Probatum est.' And first, see that you be faithful in your duty to all sinners within your reach; be they great or small, gentlemen or beggars, do your duty in reproving them meekly and lovingly, yet plainly and seriously, telling them of the danger of God's everlasting wrath; and when you find them obstinate, tell the church-officers of them, that they may do their duty; and if yet they are unreformed, they may be excluded from the church's communion, and all Christian familiarity.

Try this course awhile, and if you meet with no afflictions, and get no more fists about your ears than your own, nor more tongues against you than formerly, tell me I am mistaken. Men basely baulk and shun almost all the displeasing, ungrateful work of Christianity of purpose, lest they should have sufferings in the flesh, and then they doubt of their sincerity for want of sufferings. My second advice is, Do but stay awhile in patience (but prepare your patience for a sharper encounter,) and do not tie God to your time. He hath not told you when your afflictions shall come. If he deal easier with you than with others, and give you longer time to prepare for them, be not you offended at that, and do not quarrel with your mercies. It is about seventeen years since I was troubled with this doubt, thinking I was no son, because I was not afflicted; and I think I have had few days without pain for this sixteen years since together, nor but few hours, if any one, for this six or seven years. And thus my scruple is removed.

And if yet any be troubled with this doubt, if the church's and common trouble be any trouble to them, shall I be bold to tell them my thoughts? (only understand that I pretend not to prophesy, but to conjecture at effects by the position of their moral causes.) I think that the righteous King of saints is even now, for our overadmiring rash zeal, and sharp, high profession, making for England so heavy an affliction, and a sharp scourge, to be inflicted by seduced, proud, self-conceited professors, as neither we nor our fathers did ever yet bear. Except it should prove the merciful intent of our Father, only to suffer them to ripen for their own destruction, to be a standing monument for the effectual warning of all after-ages of the church, whither pride and heady zeal may bring professors of holiness. And when they are full ripe, to do by them as at Munster, and in New England, that they may go no further, but their folly may be known to all: Amen. I have told you of my thoughts of this long ago, in my Book of Baptism.

All these doubts I have here answered, that you may see how necessary it is, that in all it is, that in all your troubles you be sure to distinguish between matter of doubting and matter of humiliation. Alas, what soul is so holy on the earth, but must daily say, "Forgive us our trespasses?" and cry out with Paul, "O wretched man that I am,