to flide back again, till I got into my old hole, and at the old work of toiling in rowing. I have fretted, and often do murmur; not that my pain is now much, but that it has not continued until it produced a clear birth. According to my best judgment, it was only a respite that the Almighty was pleased to send me; and though it was then sweet, and produced fome gratitude and thankfulness, yet now all is worn off, and I am ftill at the old trade of dictating to the Almighty how he is to work. I hate myself for this, knowing that it is wrong, but cannot defift from it. It appears ftrange to me, that, under the greateft weight, and the foreft diftrefs, I feel myself dead, and loath all the charms of mortals; but as foon as I get a little ease, all the vermin of hell begin to crawl in my flesh, which proves to me that I want, and must have yet a great deal more bitter work within; I long for it to come, and yet fear it. But though my last trouble was the fharpeft, for the time it continued, that I ever felt in my life, yet I feel fomehow as if my foul was fomewhat braced, that it does not give way so easy, nor fink fo low. My health, in general, is fomething better, fave the weaknefs of my limbs, and my head, which has great weakness, and a continual foreness, as it were, through it, which fills it with confufion; so that I have often wondered at the goodness of God, that I am not left to speak out fome nonfenfe, and often fear

that this will be the cafe at laft. It is a long time now I think fince I have heard from my good friend. It appears to me that I can get nothing but what comes through your mouth, nor gain an inch of ground but as you lead me on: I know you will fay that it is high time that I fhould go alone, which I readily confess, and am often much ashamed that I pretend to lead others, when I cannot ftand myself. But this I muft say, that though I am feverely tried in general, yet the Lord fupports me beyond my expectations, and far beyond my fears; but I will leave my complaint upon myself, and go on to speak in the bitterness of my foul, whilst I wish my friend all good, and abundance of all bleffings to reft on his head for ever,

J. J.

LETTER III.

NEVER, I believe, has an epiftle come to me from my beft beloved friend, but what has fomething good and fuitable in it. I am fenfible the Lord fends afflictions in weight and meature;

and that what I receive is far lefs than mine iniquities have deferved.

I have been thinking and meditating for fome days back on the many and sudden changes that I go through; and it quite puzzles me to reconcile them with a real work of God's Spirit: when I feel fome moments of contrition and felf-loathing, it appears to me clear, that it is produced under the operation of God's Spirit, because I then find such an alteration in my heart; fuch sweetness, fuch humbleness of mind; fuch confidence, hope, and expectation, rifing so high; God appears to be fo near, and the light fo precious, and all this fo fweet, that not a doubt re

mains then on my mind.

But what a fudden Then, nothing, no one

of

change foon takes place! thing of it is felt; then it appears as plain again that these must be fome tranfient operations human nature; not that I expect a conftant enjoyment of fuch good things, but I think, as far as I can judge, that God's children hold them fafter, and enjoy them longer than what I do; and I often think, that if they were of God they would continue longer; that I should come to a more settled ftate, and stand firmer in my conîdence. But when thefe tranfient things go off, down go I, and am left without fo much as a ray of light; the whole book of God feems to be clofed up against me, nor can I send up a petition to him from my heart; and the broken ones that

I utter have no accefs, nor an answer returned: this for days together diftreffes me; befides, the work that I have on my hands, that I am very incapable of doing, is heavy. In one of your letters, lately received, you mention, that "the nearer the time of enlargement, the longer the intervals are;" but I generally conclude that mine have been so long, that it will prove at last to be nothing but an abortive birth, and reflect on myself that I fhould ever indulge any better hope; however, there is not a favour that my beloved has conferred upon me, but what with much gratitude I acknowledge, and moft fincerely thank him for them all. I have been a confined prifoner ever fince laft Sunday. The bile on my ftomach got to fuch a head at laft, that it has. entirely laid me up. Laft night was the first that pleased God to give me a little release from it; had affected my head fo, that I was greatly afraid that I fhould lofe my rationality. But, thanks be to the Almighty, he has once more helped me with a little help. He ftill is good to his poor worthlefs worm; I want nothing but what his kind providence fupplies me with. The crown pieces are difpofed of. Nan would not give me reft without getting a coffee-pot; that I might drink a cup out of it with my best beloved, if ever God fhould permit us to fee each other again in the flesh.

it

J. J.

LETTER IV.

THE laft favour of my honoured and dearly beloved is come fafe to my hands, which caufed much humblenefs, thanks, and gratitude, to the most high and ever bleffed Redeemer, for furnishing him with matter fo fuitable to my cafe, and fuch close union and warm affections to the inftrument of his own choice, which daily increases. You have often said that you have no father on earth, but I cannot say so: I have one in the Lord, and a most kind and liberal one I will ever declare he is. I write now to let you know a little how I go on, yet do not wish to hurry you, as I am fuppofing that you must be a little hemmed in this cold weather as well as myself: my wish therefore is, that whenever there is a letter of mine in your hand, that you would delay writing till you find yourself at leifure and quite difpofed, though your favours never come too often; but this I mean for your own fake, and many infirmities. You have often faid, that I fhould never get out of your fight, whether I fink down or foar aloft. This I have long ago believed, and am daily more and