be

dence that the Sun of Righteoufnefs will arise and fhine; then the growing calf, as one out of the stall, shall leap up. But I do not wish to go fore the time; fifteen years have I been building on the fand; about twelve years now this building has been going to pieces, and there are fome fragments of it yet remaining, and I do not wish two morfels of it to remain together. You well know how I have fretted, murmured, rebelled, kicked, and oppofed the hand that was pulling it down; but bleffed be his name that he was not fo offended at me as to go away, and leave one ftone of it to ftand. I well know that I never was at the depth of my beloved friend, nor do I expect, in this world, to be at his height; but I would not be without all I have suffered and felt in the fiery trial for millions of worlds: by these things it has pleased the Moft High to make me to live, and in thefe is the life of my fpirit; and am perfuaded that by thefe he will recover me and make me to live. Thoufand bleffings on you for evermore,

J. J.

LETTER XII.

BLESSED be the God of heaven for all his kindness and goodness to a creature fo unworthy as I am! What a wonderful condefcenfion in him that is purer than heaven itself, to look on fuch a dunghill devil, a vile fiend, a rotten hypocrite, an arrogant and prefumptuous demon, and what fhall I fay? No words have been yet coined by which I can set myself out in my true colours, more especially as I believe it hath pleased the Moft High to make me a fubject of his diftinguishing favour and mercy; this will be the wonder of all wonders to all eternity! I think that, if all doubts on this head were removed, I fhould not be able to retain my senses, nor to live any longer among the children of men; I am fure that I fhould with then to take my flight. You fay, if I am blind, how can I fee fuch comeliness in the beauty of Ifrael? The beauty of heaven he certainly is in my fight; this is true; and I do believe that I would count it nothing to go through the flames of hell to lay hold of him, if I did but get a fight of him; and if the hope of him thus exhilarates the heart, what would the fight of him do? I think it

would leave me without a heart. You fee that you have brought me to be nearly as ftrong in my confidence of a future enlargement as you are yourself. Your laft favour was in the veftry, Sunday morning, when I came out of the pulpit; and when I had got every thing cleared, and was left alone, I read it, but could not refrain from weeping out aloud, that the house of Pharaoh might hear mc, if it had been in the garden: it was too much for me to ftand under it; but my dearly beloved misunderstood me; I was not weary of receiving the fcraps, as you call them, but was afraid that I fhould weary you by my continual coming, or you be tired of reading them. No, God forbid that I fhould; they are the only means that have supported and comforted me in the houfe of my pilgrimage for are paft, and now they are No defcription can be truer

twelve years that

fweeter than ever.

of me than what you have given on this paper. I can venture to die on this, and feal the truth of it with my blood; that when my peevishness would give all up, fink, and even try to despair, I know I cannot, for I have tried it. You fay, "the nearer the birth, the sharper the pains, and the longer the, intervals." Then my birth or death must be near at hand; for this old tabernacle cannot hold it much longer; my fenfes are amazingly impaired, and I am certain, that unless prayer prove effectual to hold it up, that it can

not hold out long; this is plain now to all the people in the chapel, who difcover that I am almost too weak to ftand in the pulpit, and I believe they begin to pity me much. A night or two before your letter came, the devil fairly perfuaded me that I had lost my senses, that my rationality was gone, and nothing remained but to carry me to the madhoufe. I was in bed, but whether awake or afleep, I cannot tell, God only knows; but when I came to myself, I felt I had a little ftrength left me to refift him, and I did refift him. I told him it was his lic; that I had not loft my fenfes, and got out of bed to prove it; but O what gratitude and thanks did I feel springing up in my heart to my great preferver and deliverer! Life is fed, you fay, by the bread of God, the word of God, the fatisfaction of Chrift; by the prefence of God, upon his deliverances, upon the favours of his providences. This I know to be true; many fweet morfels have I had by meditating on his kind care of me ever fince I have been born; yea, when I fought against him, and was in the midft of the congregation doing all evil, fwallowing down Satan's bits with all greedinefs; when I was fitting myself for hell, the blefied God never intended, I believe, that I fhould go there; and fince he has been pleased to viht me, O how has he provided for me! how many are the bleffings that are round about me in any old and infirm days; praise him for ever

for his everlasting love, and bleffed be him for the riches of his grace. But you will fay," here are his raptures again, though he has vowed he would fay no more about them." True; but how can I conceal them when I have them? But I beg that you would confign this to the bottom of fome drawer, and let no eye fee it but your own. A house is provided for my bleffed friend and revered parent; but, fhould it not, he fhall have my house, if I am neceffitated to lie in a barn. Heaven be with you; I am sure that it is in you, and that you fhall be in it for ever and for ever; we fhall want for nothing then, my dearly beloved father in the everlasting Sire of all the new family. Farewell.

J. J.

LETTER XIII.

BELOVED of God, and dearly beloved of my foul, I thank you for writing to me; for I was much troubled, fearing that I had given you some cause to be offended, and that you held a grudge to me. All I wanted was to inform you rightly how the matter was, fearing