of

my kind love; and if the feels an inclination to vifit the house of mourning, we fhall be exceedingly happy to fee her, and hope fhe will be fo kind as to put up with (I fear) many inconveniences which may arise; and Mifs Sanderson, alfo, whom I think may be benefitted by the change of air. My uncle unites with me in kind love and refpects to the good Doctor, Lady and Mifs Sanderfon, &c. and defires me to affure them both that their company will be by no means difturbing to him; and may I beg the favour of a line juft to let us know when we may expect you, &c.

A. J.

LETTER XXV.

May 16.

I AM coming again, as faft as I am able, to speak to my beloved friend. I cannot come always when I wish, because of the many impediments that are thrown in my way. These two last letters almost kill me quite; the reading of them to me was more than I could well bear; I was obliged to call to Ann, and said stop, I cannot endure it, and burst out into tears, that

they heard me in the kitchen, and even out of doors; but for two days following I was very fharply tried, fo various are the changes that I pass through; one time greatly diftreffed and caft down, then again relieved, and even lift up my head and rejoice in the profpect that hope fets before me; but in a few hours a cloud of gloom overshadows all; then my feelings and meditations are very painful to me, and reflection upon my paft folly greatly diftreffes me: here I am neceffitated to cry and groan; and, bleffed be God, fome little relief is not longer in coming than what he enables me to bear; though, at times, this is as much as I can fay, for the enemy preffes fore at me; but when the relief cometh, it is fweet. Sometimes only anfwer the enemy is all that I can do; then again can speak freely, with boldness, and fome comfort, of the goodness of God. Though thefe feasons are but fhort, they are very precious; and fharp as my conflicts are, as you observe, I would not take the world for the hope I already have; and though darkness fo hides it at times that I can scarcely perceive a gleam of it, yet when the cloud is fcattered, here it ftill remains; and I find it keeps poffeffion of that which it once gained, and cannot let it go. Oh how I do long, pant, and crave, for the time that it may please God to put that in my fcale, that I fhall come down into the hands of justice, as you mention, full weight. That

is a day that I fometimes anticipate; at other times doubt whether it ever will be fo. No thanks have I to fend to you that are adequate to the favours I have received; and much more is the gratitude that I feel in my heart to him who enables you to fend them, and inclines your foul ftill to bear me on your heart before him; it is by this I am fupported. Sometimes, indeed, I do feel that this bleffed little hope gets me up above confufion, above defpondency, and above Satan, that continually attempts to destroy it, that I might fink into the fame pit as himself is in; but, blessed be God, hitherto he has not been able fully to accomplish his defign. O the hateful foe! But is he to get nothing by all his labour but an additional damnation to himself? How will my foul rejoice to fee this; but I must not triumph much here, knowing that he was not more ready to deceive than I to be deceived. But I may triumph in the conqueft that the bleffed friend of finners has obtained. that he should condefcend to rescue a poor wretch out of his hands, that he had dragged fo near his difmal den; and that he deigned to look on fuch a vile reptile. For this hope I fhall praise him for ever and ever. But I want one thing yet, which I can only anticipate, and that but at times, a view of the King in the gallery, as I once saw him in my dream; when I know I fhall fink out of myself, and be all in him, and fully enjoy a

And

fenfe of his everlafting love. Love I feel abounding in my heart to his children, and be pleased to diftribute fome of this at home; to Lady Sanderfon, to dear Eliza, and forget not my kindest regard to my good old friend Naomi Wayte,, whom I still have in my heart. My friend I am perfuaded can difcern better than I can in his view I am rifing, but it is but very flowly, and in a very small degree; yet, to get but few fteps from the horrible pit is a mercy never to be for. gotten, and never fhould I cease to acknowledge it; and, indeed, when I can look back a little, and discover where I have been, I feel fome little warmth in my heart to thank him that he did not fuffer me to go down into the pit, from whence I could never, never rife again; and oh! that the little gratitude that I feel may burst out into a flame that shall burn in my foul for evermore. And oh! that every hinderance that now ftands in the way might be removed. Amen and Amen.

J. J.

LETTER XXVI.

My dear Lady Sanderson,

I WOULD have complied with your re-. queft, in answering your very kind letter before this, but I am an attendant on my poor afflicted friend, Mr. Jenkins, with whom I have remained. these last ten days; and, as it is his wifh that I fhould continue with him, I purpose remaining at Malling, to render the laft offices of affection to the dearest friend I have upon earth. Distressing as it is to fee his bodily fufferings, I would not but have been a witness of his triumph over his enemies, both internal and external, for all the world. Mr. Hart fays, " Joy and grief, compound and unction." And truly I have found it fo. Though grieved to fee the inroads of difease, I am loft in wonder and admiration, viewing the goodness, faithfulnefs, and tender mercy, of an unchangeable God to his highly-favoured fervant. Oh what a bleffing it is to furrounding friends to fee their beloved paftor, in his laft ftage, have fo glorious a manifeftation of the dying love of a precious Saviour and dear Redeemer! Laft Sunday week was a day indeed never to be forgotten by the few that were pre