depraved, and that unless election, was true there could be no hope in my cafe. I perceived that all my oppofition to the doctrines of grace originated in pride, because I was not willing that God fhould work in me to will and to do of his own good pleasure. I now rejoiced that he did do it, and yet found myself in the unimpaired poffeffion of moral freedom. I thought before that I was right and God was wrong, but now I felt that God was right and I was wrong; and that my former fcheme of falvation, by works of the law, if it could be true was not defirable, becaufe unspeakably lefs beautiful, than that by fovereign grace in Jefus Chrift. I felt no defire to hear preaching about works, unless a clear dif tinction was made between duty and merit. I thought little of myself or of the danger of future punishment; God was all glorious, and the Saviour the chiefeft among ten thousand for his own fake. Having obtained help of God, I continue unto this time, a brand plucked from the fire; in myself, a poor, miferable, guilty creature; and if I am ever faved, it will manifeftly be all of God. Not unto me but unto God through Christ be all the glory forever." ering that he looks at the heart. I thought I was too young to attend much to religion, and I confidered it a fad and melancholy thing fit for none but those who were just about to leave this world. I depended much on the doctrine of election, as I had perverted it. "If I am to be faved I shall be faved, let me do what I will; and if I am to be loft I fhall be loft, let me do what I will." Here I refted, fecure in my finful neglect of God and his fon Jefus Chrift. And I fear that many who are ol der and wiser than I reft on the fame fandy foundation. I had a great tafte for reading, but I read thofe books only which ferved to poifon my mind, and lead it from God and ferious things. When the awakening appeared among us,. and one and another of my companions were enquiring, what they: should do to be faved? I refolved to go on as I was, let the confe quences be what they would. I lived from home, and hearing that my aged parents and two of my fifters were under great concern of mind, I could not forbear fighing and faying to myself ❝ are they all fools; I fhall never enjoy another moment's comfort with them as long as I live." It appeared to me that I would not feel as they did for the whole world. firft ferious impreffion on my mind was while reading thefe lines in the "Young Child's pious refolutions." The ""Tis time to feek to God and pray "For what I want for every day, "I have a precious foul to fave, "And I a mortal body have." A young woman addressed me by letter as follows. "My defign, in this communication, is to inform you what the Lord hath done for my foul. At the time of my firft ferious impreffions, I was 16 years old, and had to that time lived a careless and ftupid life; a ftrangerto God and Chrift, "I had hitherto thought that and to things facred and divine. there would be time enough for I thought I was not very bad as I me to attend to religion when I refrained from ftealing, lying, was old; but thefe words came fwearing and other open violations with fuch power that I could not of God's holy law; not confid-reft without feeking an intereft in Chrift immediately. I was greatly concerned about myself, and felt that I must do fomething, but what to do I knew not. I could not pray, and never had pray'd in my whole life. I durft not repeat the Lord's prayer, because I thought it was made for his difciples and not for me. I refolved that no one fhould know my feelings; but foon my diftrefs poured in upon me as a flood, and I could not forbear crying to the Saviour for mercy. I attended meeting the next fabbath, expect ing to find fome relief, when thefe awful words were the fubject of difcourfe: "It fhall be more tolerable for the land of Sodom in the day of judgment than for thee." My fins rofe in order before me. I was ftruck dumb before God while thefe words founded in my ears, and the fermon defcribed my awful cafe. Inftead of finding comfort I went home with a heavy heart. I foon began to doubt whether the bible was the word of God. I thought it might poffibly be a forgery, and carneftly hoped it was. I hated the bible because it contained my condemnation. I felt that God was partial in fhewing mercy to others and not to me. The enmity of my heart rofe against him; and indeed I wished there was no God. I attempted to caft the blame upon him and juftify myfelf, but still could not be fatisfied. I longed to be fpoken out of exiftence, for the more I understood of the divine character, the more I hated it, and could not endure the thought that the Lord reigned and that all things were at his abfolute difpofal. When I heard of fome who obtained comfort and had not been fo long in diftrefs as I had, my heart boiled within me. I thought I could not live long in this diftrefs, and that God would not fuffer fuch a wicked wretch to live; and even death appeared defirable though it should make me eternally miserable, becaufe while living I thought I was preparing for a more aggravated punishment. While walking I fometimes imagined the earth would open and fwallow me up; and that I hung over the bottomlefs pit by nothing but the brittle thread of life. I slept but little, for if I went to fleep I was afraid I fhould awake in hell. In this unhappy ftate of mind, I continued from Sept. '99 till March 1800, when I was taken dangerously fick, and for fome days deprived of reason. When my reafon returned, I fuppofed I must foon die ; but, how different were my feelings now from what they had formerly been! God appeared to me perfectly just and righteous in all his dealings with me. It appeared to be right and reasonable that I fhould love fuch an holy being. I felt more compofed and tranquil than ever before, and I could say with the man reftored to fight, "Whereas I was blind now I fee."'* I faw fuch a beauty and loveliness in God and the things I before hated, that I feemed to be in a new world, where every thing spoke the glory of God. He appeared to me fo holy, righteous and good in all his works and difpenfations, that I could freely fubmit myself to him and fay with Job, " Though he flay me yet will I truft in him."† When I recovered fo as to wait on God in his houfe, I enjoyed 1 John ix. 25. ↑ Job xiii. rs. more delight in one day than in all the balls and vain amusements, I had attended in my life. God and his service have ever fince appeared glorious to me, and oh that I may glorify him in life, death and eternity! My hope depends folely on the rich, free and fovereigngraceof Godin Jefus Chrift." A young married woman gives the following account. "Near the close of Sept. 1799, while I enjoyed a comfortable ftate of health, a religious meeting was attended at our house. I found myself fomewhat impreffed with a fense of fin, and thought I wished to be a Chriftian, A day or two after this meeting, my health rapidly declined; I was foon dangerously ill and to appearance on the borders of the grave. My great concern was to recover my health, and my hope refted in the phyfician, and not in Chrift. My fituation grew more and more alarming, and my friends viewed me as near the end of life. I was in fome measure alarmed, and much feared that if I fhould die I fhould be eternally miferable. I endeavored to fatisfy myself by reflecting, that I was not fo guilty as others. Except when people were talking to me of faith, repentance and the new-birth, I always doubted whether the justice of an holy God would fend me to hell for the few crimes I had committed. Alas, how little did I know of the evil nature of fin and of my own criminality before God! And all this when I was viewed by others on the borders of eternity. Indeed, fir, your conversation, at the time of your vifits, and the converfation of other religious people, was never fufficient to drive me wholly from this refuge. Neither your prayers, nor the apparent near approach of death, ever excited in my mind any degree of anxious concern for my foul. The idea of leaving my husband and my children appeared the moft diftreffing; but I chose not to hear the fubject mentioned, and endeavored to keep it from my mind as much as possible. A beneficent God at length interpofed in my behalf, rebuked my painful disorder, and restored me to my family as one ransomed from the grave. But I was as ftupid under the mercies of God, as I had been before under his chaftifing hand. Nothing could make my heart fubmit. I was stupid when brought to the brink of the grave, with an eternity of woe before me; and I was ftupid when marvelously reftored to health. The world with all its delufive charms now presented itself to my view. As foon as I was able to ride out, I visited an elder brother, who converfed with me freely on my fituation, and the mercies I had received. I obferved to him, that I really wished to become religious, but I was certain it was not in my power. He replied, that it was impoffible for him to tell for what purpose my life had been fo remarkably fpared; but that from my apparent ftupidity there was great reafon to fear, it was that I might have an opportu nity of filling up the measure of my iniquities, The idea ftruck me, and feemed the voice of warning from God to me to answer for my ingratitude. The fins of my paft life rofe, and were fet in order before mc. I foon found I had abufed all the mercies of God; that there was a holy law which I had tranfgreffed, and that I was under its just tho' awful curfe. I refted but little the following night, and my diftrefs continued for feveral days. I was a、 gain about to go back; but the victions I had many heart-rifings following fabbath I attended against God and the doctrines meeting, when a thank-offering of grace; but when this enmity was prefented for my recovery. was flain by the Holy Spirit, in a Here my conviction and diftrefs way which I know not, God aprevived, and continued thro' the peared juft and righteous; Christ week. The next fabbath, I heard the chiefeft among ten thoufand a fermon from thefe words, "E- and altogether lovely; and the phraim is joined to idols let him doctrines of grace the fweet food alone." The fermon was appli- of my foul, the manna from heaven. cable, as I thought, to my cafe, Indeed, fir, I have been fuch an and seemed to be addreffed to me ungrateful, blind and stupid finner in particular. My convictions that I am fure there can be no increased, until I found myfelf hope in my cafe unlefs there is a hanging over the pit of everlafting remnant according to the election woe, deftitute of the leaft merit, of grace." My attainments are. and wounded by reflection upon fo far fhort of what I fhould fup-. a whole life fpent in rebellion a-pose would be in a real Christian, gainft God. Although I was that I am, efpecially at times," convinced that I had been hither-doubtful whether I fhall ever obto kept in existence by the forbear- tain a feat at the right hand of ance of God, yet now it appear- Chrift; but if this should ever ed to me that I fo richly deferved be, I fhall be lefs than the leaft his wrath and curfe, that I had of all faints, and must forever difnothing else to expect. With claim all merit in myself; lay my thefe views Iagain attended meet- crown at the feet of Immanuel and ing, and found the fame broken afcribe all to his meritorious rightlaw flaming against me, and bring-coufnefs. Let the praise and the gloing my iniquity before my face.ry be forever to his electing love, I returned home, took my bible to rich, free and fovereign grace." and retired, and while perufing the facred pages this thought arofe in my mind," Jefus has died for finners." It filled my heart with joy, and although in my agony of mind I had not very clear views of Christ as Mediator, yet the idea was now fweet and refreshing to my weary and heavy laden foul. After a few weeks, I found my-through the whole earth, I refelf, as I believed, willing to main your most obedient humble come to the feet of Jefus and lie fervant, IRA HART. low in the duft before him. My Middlebury, July 15, 1802. comfort was all built on Chrift as the foundation, and I think he then appeared, and ftill appears lovely as he is in himself, and will be so forever, whatever becomes of me a finner. During my con Hofca iv. 17. Thefe cafes are not felected becaufe more ftriking than others, but as moft eafily and concifely defcribed; and obtained with lefs difficulty than others, perhaps in many refpects more interesting, might have been. Earneftly defiring that the religion of Jefus Chrift may spread 4 fhort account of the life and death of Mifs. Deborah Thomas of Middleborough,(Massachusetts.) HE was a person of a refervved difpofition, of a calm SH + Remans xi. 5. and peaceable temper, and of fuch | forted. She faid that for about a deportment as to be very agreeable to the feveral families, in which fhe refided at times in the capacity of an inftructor of children. a fortnight she had been praying, and that it seemed as though fhe could help praying no more than fhe could help breathing. Not long after this, fhe fell into dark. nefs, fearing that she was yet under the power of fin, and being convinced, that, without holiness, no man can fee the Lord. She complained of being confused in her mind, and being unable to think fteadily on any thing. She defired Chriftians to converse freely with her, and to examine her clofely. She feemed to be afraid that they would think better of her than they ought to think, Thefe words, "Be not deceived, God is not mocked," fhe often repeated. After this, fhe fpoke of death with compofure. One time, being diftreffed, fhe was afked the occafion of it: She faid, I am not at all concerned about hav She faid, during her laft illness, that he had been many times heretofore, under awakening, and, at feveral times, greatly concerned for her foul; and, therefore, was astonished that the had been able to continue in fuch ignorance of divine things, as the now found herself to be in. She obferved, that, when her brother's fon, a youth of about fourteen years of age, died fuddenly, (which was two years before her death,)' her mind was strongly impreffed with a fenfe of the certainty of death, and the uncertainty of the time of its coming; and with a belief that he had not long to live, though then she was in health. But, notwithstanding her frequent awakenings, it doth noting any injuftice done to me. A appear that she was the fubject of any fpecial conviction, 'till her laft illness commenced; when the fpirit of God, by means of her reading Mr. Gray's fermon, (to use her own expreffion) tore her all to pieces. good God cannot do me wrong. She now fpoke of the fin of her nature, and of her moral impotence to do good, and acknowledged God's righteousness in punifhing finners. She feemed to be convinced of the enmity in her heart against holinefs. She was in great diftrefs of mind; fpent much of her time in reading and praying, and often afked others to pray for her. About two months before her death, there ap-isfied as to the ftate of her foul. peared an alteration in her mind. She faid, that he had fome difcovery of the mercy of God through Chrift; and fhe mentioned texts of fcripture, by which her mind was enlightened and com Being asked, whether the were willing that a fovereign God fhould do with her as he pleased? She answered, I think I am ; and looking up with a plea fant countenance, added, and he will do |