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depraved, and that unless election, ering that he looks at the heart. was true there could be no hope I thought I was too young to atin my case. I perceived that all tend much to religion, and I conmy opposition to the doctrines of fidered it a sad and melancholy grace originated in pride, because thing fit for none but those who I was not willing that God should were just about to leave this world. work in me to will and to do of I depended much on the doctrine his own good pleasure. I now of election, as I had perverted it. rejoiced that he did do it, and “If I am to be saved I shall be fayet found myself in the unimpair- ved, let me do what I will ; and if ed poffeffion of moral freedom. I am to be lost I shall be lost, let I thought before that I was right me do what I will.” Here I reste and God was wrong, but now I ed, secure in my sinful neglect of felt that God was right and I was God and his son Jesus Chrift. wrong; and that my former And I fear that many who are olscheme of salvation, by works der and wiser than I reft on the of the law, if it could be true was same fandy foundation. I had a not desirable, because unspeakably great taste for reading, but I read less beautiful, than that by love. those books only which served to reign grace in Jefus Chrift. I poison my mind, and lead it from felt no desire to hear preaching God and serious things. When about works, unless a clear dif. the awakening appeared among us, tinction was made between duty and one and another of my comand merit. I thought little of panions were enquiring, what they myself or of the danger of future should do to be saved? I refolved punishment; God was all glori- to go on as I was let the conseous, and the Saviour the chiefeft quences be what they would. I among ten thousand for his own lived from home, and hearing that fake. Having obtained help of my aged parents and two of my God, I continue unto this time, fifters were under great concern of a brand plucked from the fire ; in mind, I could not forbear fighing myself, a poor, miserable, guilty and saying to myself “are they ali creature ; and if I am ever laved, fools ; I shall never enjoy another it will manifeftly be all of God. moment's comfort with them as Not unto me but unto God long as I live.” It appeared to. through Christ be all the glory me that I would not feel as they forever.”

did for the whole world. The A young woman addressed me firft serious impreffion on my mind by letter as follows. “My de- was while reading these lines in fign, in this communication, is to the “ Young Child's pious resoinform you what the Lord hath lutions." done for my soul. At the time 'Tis time to seek to God and pray? of my first serious impressions, I For what I want for every day, was 16 years old, and had to that “ I have a precious soul to save, time lived a careless and stupid

"And I a mortal body have.” life ; a strangerto God and Chrift, “ I had hitherto thought that and to things sacred and divine. there would be time enough for I thought I was not very bad as I me to attend to religion when I efrained from stealing, lying, was old ; but these words came swearing and other open violations with such power that I could not of God's holy law ; not confid. / rest without seeking an interest in

Chrift immediately. I was greatly , fome who obtained comfort and concerned about myself, and felt had not been so long in distress as that I must do something, but I had, my heart boiled within me. what to do I knew not. I could I thought I could not live long not pray, and never had pray'd in in this distress, and that God my whole life. I durft not repeat would not suffer such a wicked the Lord's prayer, because I wretch to live ; and even deathapthought it was made for his disci- peared desirable though it should ples and not for me. I resolved make me eternally miserable, bethat no one should know my feel- cause while living I thought I was ings; but foon my distress poured preparing for a more aggravated in upon me as a flood, and I punishment. While walking I could not forbear crying to the fometimes imagined the earth Saviour for 'mercy. I attended would open and swallow me up ; meeting the next fabbath, expect and that I hung over the bottoming to find some relief, when these less pit by nothing but the brittle awful words were the subject of thread of life. I slept but little, discourse : “ It shall be more tol for if I went to sleep I was afraid erable for the land of Sodom in | I should awake in hell. the day of judgment than for In this unhappy state of mind, thee."* My fins rose in order be- I continued from Sept. '99 till fore me.

I'was struck dumb be- March 1800, when I was taken fore God while these words foun- dangerously fick, and for some days ded in my ears, and the sermon deprived of reason. When my readescribed my awful cafe. Inftead fon returned, I fupposed I must of finding comfort I went home foon die ; but, how different were my with a heavy heart. I soon began feelings now from what they had to doubt whether the bible was formerly been ! God appeared to the word of God. I thought me perfectly juft and righteous in it might possibly be a forgery, and all his dealings with me. carnestly hoped it was. I hated peared to be right and reasonable the bible because it contained my that I should love such an holy becondemnation. I felt that God ing. I felt more composed and was partial in Thewing mercy to tranquil than ever before, and I others and not to me. The en- could say with the man restored mity of my heart rose against him; to fight, “Whereas I was blind and indeed I wished there was no

now I see." I saw such a beauGod. I attempted to caft the ty and loveliness in God and the blame upon him and justify my- things I before hated, that I feemfelf, but still could not be satisfied. ed to be in a new world, where I longed to be spoken out of ex- every thing spoke the glory of istence, for the more I understood God. He appeared to me to hoof the divine character, the more ly, righteous and good in all his I hated it, and could not endure works and dispensations, that I the thought that the Lordrèigned could freely submit myself to him and that all things were at his ab and say with Job, “ Though he solute disposal. When I heard of lay me yet will I trust in him.”+

When I recovered so as to wait

on God in his house, I enjoyed † This sentence gives the true reason why the fcriptures are reje&ed ty ingdels.

1 John ix. 25. + Job xiäi. 15.

It ap

• Matt. xi. 24.

more delight in one day than in | death, ever excited in my mind all the balls and vain amusements, any degree of anxious concern for I had attended in my life. God my soul. The idea of leaving my and his service have ever since ap- husband and my children appeared peared glorious to me, and oh that the most diftresling ; but I chose I may glorify him in life, death not to hear the subject mentioned, and eternity! My hope depends and endeavored to keep it from solely on the rich, free and fove my mind as much as poslible. A · reigngraceof Godin Jesus Christ.” beneficent God at length interpo

A young married woman gives fed in my behalf, rebuked my the following account.

painful disorder, and restored me « Near the clofe of Sept. 1799, to my family as one ranfomed from while I enjoyed a comfortable the grave. But I was as stupid Itate of health, a religious meet- under the mercies of God, as I ing was attended at our house. had been before under his chastiI found myself somewhat impref- fing hand Nothing could sed with a sense of sin, and thought my heart submit. I was atupid I wished to be a Christian, A when brought to the brink of the day or two after this meeting, my grave, with an eternity of woe health rapidly declined ; I was before me ; and I was stupid when foon dangerously ill and to appear- marvelously restored to health. ance on the borders of the grave. The world with all its delufive My great concern was to recover charms now presented itself to my my health, and my hope rested in view. As soon as I was able to the physician, and not in Chrift. ride out, I visited an elder brother, My situation grew more and more who conversed with me freely on alarming, and my friends viewed my situation, and the mercies I me as near the end of life. I was had received. I observed to him, in some measure alarmed, and much that I really wished to become refeared that if I should die I should ligious, but I was certain it was be eternally miserable. I endeav- not in my power. He replied, ored to satisfy myself by reflect that it was impoffible for him to ing, that I was not so guilty as tell for what purpose my hife had others. Except when people been so remarkably spared ; but were talking to me of faith, re that from my apparent ftupidity pentance and the new-birth, I al- there was great reason to fear, it ways doubted whether the justice was that I might have an opportuof an holy God would send me nity of filling up the measure of to hell for the few crimes I had my iniquities, The idea ftruck committed. Alas, how little did me, and seemed the voice of warnI know of the evil nature of fin ing from God to me to answer and of my own criminality before for my ingratitude. The fins of God! And all this when I was my past life rose, and were set in viewed by others on the borders of order before me. I foon found eternity. Indeed, fir, your con- I had abused all the mercies of versation, at the time of your vis God; that there was a holy law its, and the conversation of other which I had transgressed, and that religious people, was never fuffi- I was under its just tho' awful cient to drive me wholly from this curse. I rested but little the folrefuge. Neither your prayers, lowing night, and my diftrcfs conpor the apparent near approach of tinued for several days. I was a

gain about to go back ; but the victions I had many heart-risings following fabbath I attended againft God and the doctrines meeting, when a thank-offering of grace ; but when this enmity was presented for my recovery. was Nain by the Holy Spirit, in a Here my conviction and distress way which I know not, God aprevived, and continued thro' the peared juft and righteous ; Chrift week. The next sabbath, I heard the chiefest among ten thousand a fermon from these words, “ E and altogether lovely ; and the phraim is joined to idols let him doctrines of grace the sweet food alone."* The sermon was appli- of my soul, the manna from heaven. cable, as I thought, to my case, Indeed, fir, I have been such an and seemed to be addressed to me ungratefui, blind and stupid finner in particular. "My convictions that I am sure there can be no increased, until I found myself hope in my case unless there is a hanging over the pit of everlasting remnant according to the election woe, destitute of the least merit, of grace.”+ My attainments are. and wounded by reflection upon so far fort of what I should fup.. a whole life spent in rebellion a- pose would be in a real Christian, gainst God. Although I was that I am, especially at times, convinced that I had been hither doubtful whether I fall ever obto kept in existence by the forbear- tain a seat at the right hand of ance of God, yet now it appear. Christ ; but if this should ever ed to me that I so richly deserved be, I shall be less than the leaft his wrath and curse, that I had of all saints, and must forever difnothing else to expect. With claim all merit in myself ; lay my these views I again attended meet. crown at the feet of Immanuel and ing, and found the same broken ascribe all to his meritorious rightlaw flaming against me, and bring- eousness. Let the praiseand the

gloing my iniquity before my face. ry be forever to his electing love, I returned home, took my bible to rich, free and sovereign grace." and retired, and while perusing the These cases are not selected besacred pages this thought arose in cause more striking than others, my mind,“ Jesus has died for but as moft easily and concisely finners.” It filled my heart with described ; and obtained with less joy, and although in my agony of difficulty than others, perhaps in mind I had not very clear views many respects more interesting, of Christ as Mediator, yet the might have been. idea was now sweet and refreshing Earnestly defiring that the relito my weary and heavy laden foul. gion of Jesus Chriit may spread After a few weeks, I found my-through the whole earth, I refelf, as I believed, willing to main your mot obedient humble come to the feet of Jesus and lie servant, IRA HART. low in the dust before him. My Middlebury, July 15, 1802. comfort was all built on Christ as the foundation, and I think he foort account of the life and death then appeared, and still appears

of Mifs. Deborah Thomas of lovely as he is in himself, and will Middleborough, ( Massachusetts.) be so forever, whatever becomes

HE was a person of a reservof me a sinner. During my con

ved difpofition, of a calm

Hofea is. 17.

+ Romans xi. 5.

and peaceable temper, and of such forted. She said that for about a deportment as to be very agreea- a fortnight she had been praying, ble to the several families, in which and that it seemed as though she fhe resided at times in the capaci- could help praying no more than ty of an instructor of children. she could help breathing. Not

She said, during her last illness, long after this, she fell into dark that she had been many times ness, fearing that she was yet unheretofore, under awakening, and, der the power of fin, and being at several times, greatly concern- convinced, that, without holiness, ed for her soul ; and, therefore, no man can see the Lord. She was altonished that she had been complained of being confused in able to continue in such ignorance her mind, and being unable to of divine things, as she now found think steadily on any thing. She herself to be in. She observed, desired Christians to converse free. that, when her brother's son, a ly with her, and to examine her youth of about fourteen years of closely. She seemed to be afraid age, died suddenly, (which was that they would think better of two years before her death,)' her her than they ought to think. mind was strongly impressed with These words, “ Be not deceived, a sense of the certainty of death, God is not mocked,” she often and the uncertainty of the time repeated. After this, she fpoke of its coming ; and with a belief of death with composure. One that she had not long to live, time, being distressed, she was alkthough then she was in health. ed the occafion of it : Shę faid, I

But, notwithstanding her fre- am not at all concerned about havquent awakenings, it doth not ing any injustice done to me. А appear that she was the subject of good God cannot do me wrong. any special conviction, 'till her I am not afraid of death ; but to latt illness commenced; when the think of being an enemy to God {pirit of God, by means of her to all eternity appears dreadful. reading Mr. Gray's sermon, (to She was asked whether the divine use her own expression) tore her all character appeared amiable to her? to pieces.

She answered, it appears fo at She now spoke of the fin of times ; but I cannot think that I her nature, and of her moral im- have such a sense of his amiable potence to do good, and acknowl-character, as Christians have. edged God's righteousness in pun- Her friends were affected with her ishing finners. She seemed to be case, conversed with her, and convinced of the enmity in her prayed with her ; but God's time heart against holinefs. She was of deliverance was not yet come. in great distress of mind ; spent About a fortnight before her much of her time in reading and death, the appeared to be more praying, and often asked others calm in her mind. She said, that to pray for her. About two she felt at times, a little more fatmonths before her death, there ap- isfied as to the state of her soul. peared an alteration in her mind. Being asked, whether the were She said, that she had some dif- willing that a sovereign God covery of the mercy of God should do with her as he pleased ? through Christ ; and she men- She answered, I think I am ; and tioned texts of scripture, by which looking up with a pleasant counhermind was enlightened and com-| tenance, added, and he will do

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