Arminian Magazine, For FEBRUARY 1796. The Experience of Mr. JOHN BOYLE. WAS born at Whitehaven in Cumberland, in the year 1768. My father was a native of Scotland, and had been brought up in the fear of the Lord; as far back as I can remember, I fre quently obferved, that when he came into the house he took up the Bible, and after reading awhile he began to weep and fall down upon his knees. The religious deportment of my father inclined me to believe, that there were a Being, though to me invisible, who made all things, who fuperintended all things, who took notice of the actions of mankind, and who would, at fome certain period, reward or punish them according to their works. My mother being a native of the Ifle of Man, I was sent to that Inland when about fix years of age, to live with my grandfather. This removal affected me greatly, as I faw none but ftrange faces, most of whom spoke a language which I did not understand; which for fome time induced me to look upon myself as in a state of banishment, and caufed me to turn my attention to the things of Eternity. Soon after I was fent to school, and became acquainted with my neighbours and their lan guage; but in proportion as I increased in knowledge, my religious impreffions leffened, and I loft my defires for heaven and happiness. Nevertheless at times, I was greatly alarmed when I heard of the death of any perfon, and prayed that I might not die till I returned home to my father in England, to be instructed: in the way to Heaven. About this time the Methodist Preachers vifited the Ifle of Man and preached to the people, which occafioned much converfation about them and their doctrine. My grandfather being prejudiced against them, affirmed that they were the falfe prophets mentioned in the fcriptures; and as he was one of the heads of the parish, his declaration was the more regarded; and although I was but a child, yet I imbibed an aversion to the Methodists, which was removed by hearing a difpute one day between my grandfather and fome of the most illiterate perfons of our parish, who had lately embraced the Methodist principles; they defended their doctrine with fuch ftrong proofs from the Bible, that my grandfather was confounded, and not able to anfwer them. From that time I began to entertain favourable fentiments of the MethoVOL. XIX. Feb. 1796. H difts, difts, and thought they were in the right way to Heaven; notwith. ftanding this conviction faftened upon my mind, yet I rebelled against it to fuch a degree, that whenever I went to hear them, I did all the mifchief in my power. When was fourteen years old, I returned to Whitehaven ; my father was then a widower, and had loft all his ferioufnefs. It was now time for me to learn fome bufinefs, and accordingly I went to a cabinet-maker and houfe-joiner. But I was now as great a ftranger to my native place, as though I had never feen it before, and being unacquainted with the people, I bad time for reflection, and began to entertain ferious thoughts about death and eternity. But as I had no religious friend to inftru&t me in the way which I was defirous of walking in, and being ignorant of the things belonging to my peace, I foon became truly miferable. I ftayed about a year with my mafter, and then refolved to cons tinue with him no longer, because I imagined that the unhappinefs of my mind was occafioned by a diflike to my business. From Whitehaven I went to Maryport, being determined to be a fhip-wright. But here I found no relief; my inward uneafinefs increafed more and more, till at length I thought that ftrangling was better than fuch a life of wretchedness. It was on a Thurf day when I got to Maryport; I foon found a mafter, who fet me to work next day, but on Saturday I left him, and returned to Whitehaven. I was now in fuch confufion of mind, that I knew not what to do; but at length refolved to go to fea, hoping to find happiness upon that element. But here my fituation was worfe than ever, for fcarce any thing was to be heard or seen but extreme wickedness. Sometimes I asked the failors, "Do you ever pray?" "Pray! (faid they) Our prayers and fwearing are juft the fame! for when we pray, we think of no good; and when we fwear, we think of no harm!" I was foon weary fea-faring life, and refolved to quit it, as foon as Providence fhould open a way for me. After being fix months at fea, I went to the Ifle of Man, and from thence to Liverpool, where I got employment with a perfon reputed to be a Methodist. of a The diftrefs of my foul ftill continued, and notwithstanding the burden of fin was intolerable, yet I never had the courage to open my mind to any perfon. The man with whom I worked, who was reported to be a Methodist, I foon difcovered, had no real religion, but was juft like the reft of the world; and as it was not till fome time after, that I learned, he did not belong to the Methodist fociety, I fuppofed that all the Methodists in Liverpool were like him; and as the falvation of my foul was now my only concern, I returned to the Ifle of Man, intending to join the Methodists there, because I knew them to be a holy people. After being in the Ifland fome time, I went to work with two men belonging to the fociety. They foon obferved that I had fome good impreffions, and fpoke freely to me; and I presently learned from their converfation, that they enjoyed the Bleffing which I greatly longed to obtain, namely, the peace and love of God, accompanied with a confcioufnefs that the Lord had forgiven all their fins, I now attended the preaching conftantly, till at laft one of the men invited me to a clafs-meeting, and defired me to call next Sunday at his houfe. Accordingly I went about the time appointed, but he was gone to the meeting, and I returned home in great diftrefs, and began to read and pray. Next day I acquainted my other companion with the difappointment I had met with, and he directed me to call upon him the enfuing Sunday; which I did accordingly, but was again too late. However, after a fharp conflict with myfelf, I took courage and went to the house where the clafs met: although I did not know the nature of the meeting, yet I fuppofed they affembled together for religious exercifes. After being fome time in the room, one of them gave out a hymn, and prayed; and then they spoke of the dealings of the Lord with their fouls. I heard their converfation with aftonishment, and my confcience bore witnefs to the Truth. It feemed to me, that they were all going in the way that leads to happiness and heaven, while I was in the utmost danger of finking into Hell. My anguifh of mind was fo great that I wept aloud, and yet I grieved because I could not grieve enough for my fins. When the meeting concluded, one of the brethren encouraged me to continue feeking the Lord, and that I was not far from the kingdom, if I perfevered in the way of repentance. For fome time, the only thing I could pray for was, that I might fee and feel my fins the Lord answered me in this matter, and gave me fuch a discovery of them that I defpaired of obtaining mercy, and even feared that the day of Grace was paft, and that I was guilty of the unpardonable fin against the Holy Ghoft. My affliction did not arise fo much from the terrors of hell, but because I had finned against the Lord, and could not conceive how it was poffible for a juft and holy God to forgive me, fince he had faid in his Word, "That the wages of fin is death." Some of my friends exhorted me to believe on the Lord Jefus Chrift, and all would be well; but this embarraffed me more than ever, because I had no clear ideas of the nature and method of believing with the heart unto righteoufnefs. I did believe, with all my heart, that I was a guilty, hell-deferving finner; but I could not believe that fins were forgiven; because I felt the guilt and burden of them upon my confcience; and I was altogether at a lofs, how to be lieve on Chrift in fuch a manner as to obtain through him the pardon of all my tranfgreffions. But in the midst of all my per plexities and temptations, I ftill continued to call on the Name of the Lord. my I continued in the Island a few months, and then went to Liverpool again, where I diligently attended the preaching and prayer-meetings, but durft not meet in clafs, because I looked upon myself as too vile and worthless a finner. For fome time I remained between hope and despair. Faith in Christ still seemed a great mystery to me: what I was to believe, or how I was to believe, I could not tell. To believe that God had blotted out my iniquities, when I had the strongest inward testimony to the contrary, would have been too grofs a delufion for me to plunge into with my eyes open. However I refolved never to rest till the Lord brought me out of darkness into his marvellous light. One day when I was alone wrestling with the Lord, he gracioufly looked down upon my affliction, and revealed his Son to me, as fuffering for my fins; and I thought I heard a voice saying, "Doft thou now believe?" to which I anfwered aloud,--." I cannot help but believe." I now clearly faw that God was ftill just in justifying a guilty finner who believed in his Son Jesus. When I had found peace with God, I went and met in a class ; and in a year after was appointed a leader: I continued in this office about two years, and then was appointed an itinerant preacher in St. Auftle circuit, in Cornwall; Mr. Rhodes was the affiftant of the circuit, and fhewed me all the affection and tenderness of a father. When I had travelled four months, I fell into evil-reafonings, and began to doubt of my call to the work of the ministry. In this diftrefs I wrote to Mr. Rhodes, requesting he would fend for a preacher to fupply my place, as I intended to travel no longer; but he encouraged me to perfevere in well-doing; and thro the bleffing of God we faw a gracious revival of the work, about three hundred new-members being added to the focieties in our circuit this year. Having obtained help, I continue to the prefent day to love God and his people, and to speak of the things of his kingdom. Plymouth-Dock, 1794: JOHN BOYLE.. Mr. MATHER'S firft Difcourfe on CHRISTIAN PERFECTION TH [ Concluded from page 13.] HE fear of God, which has been already defcribed, cleanseth from all filthinefs of flesh and fpirit fundry ways: It keeps the confcience truly tender, and makes it quick-fighted to difcern and feel the flightest touch of fin, or even omiffion of duty in any degree. The confcience is hereby led to pass a juft fentence upon both, admitting of none of thofe palliating excufes or exten. uations, which, alas! bespeak a very great want of holy jealousy; fuch as, "Satan took the advantage; I was off my guard; my natural temper is fo and fo; furely no one is tried like me; the fpirit is willing, but the flesh is weak; there is no living without fin; there is no perfection in this life, it is well we are to be faved by Chrift, and not by our own works, &c." And thus men who have laid a foundation for repentance by dead works, hide it from their own eyes, and effectually debar themfelves from all the advantages advantages intended them by a throne of Grace through an Advocate at the right-hand of the Majefty on high; who, notwithstanding all their exclamations and excufes, is difpleafed with impenitent finners for taking refuge in fuch lies as these are, in that fense in which they ufe and apply them. For thus finners place the most infurmountable bar in their own way to perfecting holinefs, and thereby fix in their hearts the ftrongest averfion to perfection in holiness; the very mention of which is fufficient caufe for any one to be judged arrogant and prefumptuous by them, who in this ftate are blind, and cannot fee afar off; for in refpect to the enjoyment of their privileges, they have actually forgotten that they were ever purged from the guilt and dominion of their old fins. But the confcience actuated by godly fear, liftens to none of these excuses, will hear no fuch falfe witneffes; and therefore charges home wilful fin and guilt, by whatever caufe contracted; and fays, as Nathan to David, "Thou art the man !---the offender ;---thou art likely to bear the punishment." This awakens in a mind not yet ftupified by deceitful opiates, a feeling sense of fin; and it begins to plead guilty, and fues for a freth act of mercy through the atoning Blood, to which alone it looks, as the only way to God for pardon, and for grace to help in every future time of need. And being thus, by this holy jealoufy driven to the Blood again, which alone can make the wounded whole, it receives a twofold privilege, (1.) A deliverance from being fatisfied with any thing befides a lively enjoyment of God, and victory as well over inward as outward fin. (2.) A greater jealousy over itself, left it should be betrayed by any of its enemies, and fo robbed of its peace and accefs to God: and hereby it becomes more influenced by that fear, which keeps it humble, though fo favoured by the Lord; and is animated to greater watchfulness, left, as it has been grafted in by faith in which it stands, it should be cut off by any degree of unbelief! Oh! what carefulness, what diligence, what contrition, what felf-denial, what cleaving unto God! And above and in all, what dependence upon Chrift! and what continual application to his Blood, as that whereby alone all the impurity and defects discerned by a foul so eagle-eyed, can be done away! And how exceeding great are the longings of fuch a foul for God, even the Living GOD! What agonizings after him! With what unutterable ardour it cries out, Ah! fhew me that happiest place, The place of thy people's abode, Thy Paffion and Death on the Tree! To fuffer and triumph with Thee! These |