-a belief, he appeared staggered, mused a while, and then exclaimed, "Vell, Sir, there's von thing, if it's ever so true-I never hits mine over the head; circumstance which so reconciled him to the doctrine of Pythagoras, that he let fall a heavy blow upon his beast's crupper, and disappeared. If the Ass be not entitled to rank as an esquire, Cervantes makes him at least a squire-bearer, whereas the squire himself is only a shield-bearer; aad our long-eared hero was formally dubbed a gentleman by King Charles. A Mayor of Rochester, just at the commencement of an elaborate address to that Monarch, was accompanied by the loud braying of an Ass, when his Majesty exclaimed, "One at a time, Gentlemen, one at a time." A common tradition attributes the black line, or cross, upon the shoulders of this animal to the blow inflicted by Balaam; in allusion to which a witling, who had been irreverently sneering at the miracles in the presence of Dr. Parr, said triumphantly, "Well, Doctor, what say you to the story of Balaam's Ass, and the cross upon its shoulders ?"—" Why, Sir,” replied the Doctor, " I say, that if you had a little more of the Cross, and a great deal less of the Ass, it would be much better for you." A singer once complaining to Sheridan that himself and his brother (both of whom were deemed simpletons) had been ordered to take Ass's milk, but that, on account of its expensiveness, he hardly knew what they should do." Do?" cried Sheridan, "why apply to one another, to be sure." 66 Gentle reader, whether of that sex whose limbs hang together against the ribs of this forlorn animal, from a side-saddle, or of that more ponderous gender that doth bestride his narrow back like a Colossus, if in thy summer jaunts to Margate or Brighton thou dost make him minister to thy pleasures, toiling through the sun and dust to bear thee to cake-smelling bowers, and tea-dispensing shades, O, bethink thee of his regal stalls in Palestine, and grudge him not the thistle by the way-sides: recall his silken housings, and have pity on his gored and ragged sides remember his glorious burden in the valley of Cedron, and respect his present wretchedness: muse upon the fate of Balaam, and cast away thy staff. PETER PINDARICS. The Auctioneer and the Lawyer. A CITY Auctioneer, one Samuel Stubbs, Than Gog and Magog with their clubs, Did with his mallet, which (see Bryant's For Samuel knock'd down houses, churches, Tore the first tree he laid his hand to. He ought, in reason, to have raised his own Lot by knocking others' down; And had he been content with shaking His hammer and his hand, and taking Advantage of what brought him grist, he Marking, with paw upon his mazzard, Or rattling in a box the dice, Which seem'd as if a grudge they bore Down on the nail he was compell'd to pay Thus, like a male Penelope, our wight, One Mr. Snipps, the tailor, had the longest And naturally thought he had the strongest But debts of honour must be paid, Whate'er becomes of debts of trade; From month to month throughout the year, Excuses, falsehoods, pleas alleges, Or flatteries, compliments, and pledges. When in the latter mood one day, He squeezed his hand, and swore to pay.— “But when?”—“ Next month.-You may depend on't, My dearest Snipps, before the end on't ;— Your face proclaims in every feature, You wouldn't harm a fellow-creature— You're a kind soul, I know you are, Snipps." Ay, so you said six months ago; But such fine words, I'd have you know, Where business interposes not its rubs; And Alexander cuts Hephæstion; But when our man of law must sue his friends, Tenfold politeness made amends. So when he meets our Auctioneer, Into his outstretch'd hand he thrust his Writ, and said, with friendly leer, 66 My dear, dear Stubbs, pray do me justice; In this affair I hope you see No censure can attach to me Don't entertain a wrong impression ; I'm doing now what must be done In my profession." "And so am I," Stubbs answer'd with a frown, So crying "Going-going-going-gone!" He knock'd him down! VOL. I. The Gouty Merchant and the Stranger. IN Broad-street Buildings, on a winter night, While t'other held beneath his nose The Public Ledger, in whose columns grubbing, He noted all the sales of hops, Ships, shops, and slops, Gum, galls and groceries, ginger, gin, Tar, tallow, turmerick, turpentine, and tin. When, lo! a decent personage in black "Your footman, Sir, has gone his nightly track, To the King's Head, And left your door ajar, which I Observed in passing by, And thought it neighbourly to give you notice.” "Ten thousand thanks-how very few get, In time of danger, Such kind attentions from a stranger! Doom'd to a final drop at Newgate. "Indeed!" replied the stranger, looking grave; "Then he's a double knave. He knows that rogues and thieves by scores And see how easily might one Of these domestic foes, Even beneath your very nose, |