life, and that he may never repine under the trials and disappointments which will inevitably be found in the way of duty, by the faithful servants of God. During this journey I visited several Friend families, where I was forcibly struck with that order, sobriety and easiness of manners seldom found among any other class of people. After being absent from my family about two months, I returned homeward, taking in my way, the town of Rushford, in the county of Allegany. In this place the Lord was very near, and I spake in the after part of the day for about two hours, and my testimony was easy and with much plainness. When I had done speaking on my subject, I expressed my thanks for the use of the meeting house, but a baptist man, (as I was informed as to his order,) was so enraged be-. cause I had spoken against the ordinances, that he said, (as if speaking for the society,) we shall look out next time who has our meeting house. On getting upon my horse it was said again, "The foxes have holes, and the birds of the air have nests, but the Son of man has no where to lay his head," intimating, as I was among strangers, that I might lay in the streets before he would invite me home with him. But so it was, tho' this man would not receive me, his expression so affected another, that he invited me to tarry at his house and so I had entertainment. On returning home I witnessed the ful filment of that part of my dream which related to my leaving society for I found some of my brethren following me, though at a distance, as I had seen in my vision.* They had seen so much of the true light that they felt constrained in a degree to quit the dead forms of religion, though they did not feel it a duty to quit society; so it might be clearly seen that they were between me and the place where I left them. I now saw plainly that storm which would have beat hard upon me if I had not quit society as I did; for though they plead hard with me to continue in society, and notwithstanding freedom of sentiment was offered me when I came to preach plainly what I believed of the truth, all were highly displeased; and had I not quit as I did, I should have had to suffer the reproach of an excommunicated member. But I had been too quick for them, and such as felt disposed to injure me, could only do it by a false representation of my doctrine. It seemed for a while, when I looked about me, as if Herod and Pilate were made friends in one day. Some among all the formal denominations seemed resolved to put me to death, because their craft was in danger; for they could have said no more against me, than that I could not agree with them, in such things as they themselves could not agree about. Many who belonged to the different societies, who before were *See Convincement, chap. ii. p. 45. disagreeing, now became friends, that they might help one another against me; but those who belonged in society where I did, were the ones by whom I suffered most. They did not then pretend to meddle with my moral life, for they had deprived themselves of that by giving me the letter which they did. When I say that I have suffered most from the society to which I belonged, I mean some of the most leading members. I would not wish to be understood that I have no friends in society, for 1 believe the majority are my friends. Many of my brethren have mourned when I have mourned, and they have wept when I have wept; but some who were once my friends have become my enemies,and they have viewed me afar off; while others, who were my enemies, have become my friends, and though they have not left society, yet they have become subject to reproach, and I believe for the sake of Christ. Whatever may have been said concerning me, since I left society, one thing is sure, I was once esteemed by those who have since become my enemies. I once commanded as much respect, and had as much influence as any other one, who had not belonged to the connexion longer than I had. Had I quit society for the purpose of building myself up, I should have used my influence to that effect. So it was, that if I had been disposed I might have caused an immediate split in the church to which I was belonging; but because I regarded the truth more than party, I observed to the leading members of the church, that if they would let me go I would leave church as still as possible. There has never been a time, notwithstanding the opposition of my enemies, but what I have had it in my power to form societies in nine towns out of ten, where I have travelled, but I have never sought to build myself up, by forming a party. I am sensible of the fall of the church, and I am sensible that the grace and humble virtues of a true christian, is too little regarded, and too little sought after in church-building; and so long as men's traditions constitute so principal a part of the foundation and grace of the church, I had much rather suffer alone than to wound the eause of Christ with thousands. When I left society, it was for conscience sake; my convincement of things most momentous, urged me to renounce a standing, which I could no longer maintain with peace of mind. I had conceived no affront; made no calculations; I sacrificed many friends, but consulted none. A christian life had not become wearisome, I only desired then as I do still, to do the will of God in all things. "I urge not Against Heaven's hand or will, nor bate a jot Here I will mention that after I had made a verbal request to leave society I obtained a knowledge of Friends (called Quakers) by their books for the first time. The first book that I read was on baptism, written by Job Scott. Though two or three tracts had fallen into my hands a little before this, they were nothing that tended to give me any information as to the doctrine of Friends, nor were they calculated to attract my mind more than many other writings, so that in all I had never read the number of ten pages of the Friends' writings, before I had petitioned to leave society. When I had read Job Scott's book, I was then for the first time satisfied that others had rejected the ordinances (so called) upon the same principles that I did, and accordingly became resolved to visit that people the first opportunity that should afford; but when I had visited them several times, and had spoken among them, one of the leading members very courteously accompa nied me toward my home, and informed me that they did not generally allow per sons to speak in their meetings who did not belong to their society. Though the tender Spirit in which this message was delivered, seemed to be an apology of itself, yet he added that he hoped that I should not conceive an offence, to which I replied Oh no! But how did my heart swell within me! Thought I to myself, I thought that I had |