lightened and sincere Christians I have ever known. I parted from my friends the next morning, amidst the most affectionate wishes. Deacon Lumbard came to give me his parting blessing, and to say that he did not doubt he should yet see me all he could wish, for he loved me too well to think otherwise. As I passed the minister's door, I stopped to bid him farewell. He shook me by the hand, saying he loved me none the less for my honesty, and doubted not God had a blessing for me. The kindness of these two good men was a cordial to my spirits. I left them better and happier for having known them; rejoicing that there was a better world, where imperfection would be done away, and where the holy light of unveiled truth would dissipate the little cloud that now hovered between us. 5 CHAPTER VII. My college life, on which I now entered, was like that of many other young men. I applied myself zealously to the duties required of me, and became ambitious of distinction. My thirst for knowledge increased, and with it my desire of eminence. I allowed myself little time for sleep or recreation. I denied myself even food, that I might sit at my books without the necessity of exercise to help digestion. I know not how it was, but gradually and insidiously literary distinction became my ruling passion. My Bible was consulted less frequently, my seasons of devotion were hurried over, and even the worship of the sabbath came at last to be attended by me with little interest or feeling. I was sometimes uneasy at perceiving the change which had taken place in my affections, and felt alarmed for the result. But I satisfied myself with saying, that as soon as I should be relieved from my present hurry, or have finished the study I had now on hand, I should have leisure to resume my religious vigilance. But this leisure did not come, and I suffered myself still to go on. I quieted the remonstrances of my mind with the persuasion, that a man can not feel equally engaged at all times on any subject; and that at any rate I was preparing myself for the duties of life, and why was not this as acceptable service as the performance of my religious duties? Then if conscience answered, that the preparation for future duty is no excuse for neglecting present duty, I stifled the suggestion by burying my thoughts in study. I tremble to this day to think of the hazard I was running, and in how dreadful a ruin it might have ended, if it had not pleased God to send me a rebuke. I had already entered my senior year, and with a heart full of ambition was pressing on to realize, in the honours before me, the darling object of my hope. I had overplied my powers, and they gave way. My body refused to sustain the labours of my mind, and after four weeks' severe illness it was thought I must sink to the tomb. Of the early part of my sickness I have no recollection, except of a confused feeling of disappointment and vexation at being thus stopped and frustrated in my career. It seems to me like some long dream, in which I was struggling with envious and malicious foes, who were conspiring against my improvement and reputation. I seemed at length to awake from the dream, and found myself a feeble and helpless man, stretched upon my bed, and attended by friends whose anxious countenances revealed to me their fears. "What is that bell for ?" was the first question I asked. "It is tolling for the Exhibition," said my friend. "The Exhibition!" said I, starting with surprise; "how long have I been sick ?" Nearly four weeks." 66 "Exhibition!" I repeated-" and I am not ready; I cannot be there ;-when I had so depended on it-so longed for it-and here am I shut out from-When shall I be able to go out, Thompson ?" "You must lie still," said Thompson, 66 you are too weak to talk; keep yourself quiet." And he withdrew from the bed. Thompson's voice and manner struck me, and I at once suspected the truth. Never shall I forgot the feeling that came over me, as the conviction flashed across my mind that I was dangerously ill. A cold thrill run through my frame, and the sweat issued upon my forehead. "And is this," thought 1, "the end of all my toils, the completion of my hopes? Is it all to end in an early grave and a forgotten memory? Spare me, O God, that I may recover strength before hence to be seen no more." I go As soon as my first surprise was over, I set myself to collect my thoughts as well as I was able, and to prepare my mind for the event. And now the wide extent of my folly became visible at once. I saw the full measure of my negligence, and the whole unworthiness of my delusion. I felt the emptiness of that ambition, for which I had sacrificed my religious affections, and would have given the world to return to that spiritual frame which I had possessed two years before. Then I thought of my privileges, my oppor |