And I will prove that vow sincere, Nor weal nor woe, nor hope nor fear, Shall shake my constancy. For Him I will not love my life, Oh, happy soldiers they who serve The sacred pledge in childhood given, And still they hear a voice from heaven And since Thy truth stands like a rock, To brave of hostile foes the shock- Though Satan fiercely rage without, Rings in the air Faith's victor shout, 72. The Noly Supper. Thine is a richly-furnished board, And royal-like the fare; When to regale Thy friends, O Lord, Thou dost the feast prepare. "Soul, eat and drink," Thou say'st; and if We hear Thy voice divine, There's in the bread eternal life, And Spirit in the wine. MATT. xxvi. 26-28. "And as they were eating, Jesus took bread, and blessed it, and brake it, and gave it to the I disciples, and said, Take, eat; this is my body. And He took the cup, and gave thanks, and gave it to them, saying, Drink ye all of it; for this is my blood of the new testament, which is shed for many for the remission of sins." DESIRE, in the sincerity of my heart, to draw near, not unworthily, to the table of my Lord. Alas! however, I am weak, and of myself unequal to such a duty. I turn, therefore, to Thee, O Holy Spirit! It is Thy office to enlighten the darkness of the human soul. Come to my aid, vouchsafe Thy light, and enable me to know myself. I am about to show forth the Lord's death before the Church; and there can be no better preparation for doing so than that I should once more fully realise what the Lord is to me, and what I should be to Him. I confess unto Thee, O holy God, that I am a poor helldeserving sinner, whose words and works, whose heart and walk, have merited a thousandfold Thy righteous displeasure. I confess that in my inmost soul there dwells a criminal aversion to thy commandments, and an ever-recurring reluctance to do Thy holy will; that my flesh is ever prone to seek, with all eagerness, the good things of earth in preference to those that are well-pleasing in Thy sight; and that every day whole hours elapse in which I never once remember that Thou art my Master, and that I am Thy servant. I confess before Thee, O holy God, without excuse or palliation, that I am yet far from loving my fellow-men with pure and self-denying affection; that I am more ready to look to my own advantage than to study my neighbour's good; that I am fonder of being ministered unto by others than of ministering unto them. And as for Thee, O Jesus, whom I purpose this day once more to confess before Thy people, alas! how often, by word and deed, have I not shamefully denied Thee? I am about to celebrate Thy death-that death to which Thou wert brought by generous love to the sheep of Thy flock. And yet how painful I feel self-denial to be, even when all I am called upon to surrender for my brethren is some paltry fragment of my worldly substance! Behold, I conceal from Thee no part of my guilt, that no part of it may remain unforgiven. I will cover none of my stains, that Thou, O gracious God, mayst wash them all away. "Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. Make me to hear joy and gladness, that the bones which Thou hast broken may rejoice." 1 Lord, who is worthy to dwell in Thy temple? In the counsels of Thy grace, this honour is assigned to him only who knows how infinitely it exceeds his deserts. Dear Master, in the days of Thy flesh Thou wert the friend of publicans and sinners, but didst reject those who were righteous in their own eyes. Thou art Thyself the Shepherd who left the ninetyand-nine sheep in the wilderness to seek the one that was lost. And even now, on a day like this, all Thou requirest of us is just to be sincere before Thee. "Blessed," says the holy Psalmist, "is the man in whose spirit there is no guile." 2 will therefore calm my anxious soul in Thy presence, provided Thy Spirit bear me witness that I appear at Thy table without guile. Whom dost Thou call to this feast? Not the rich and strong, but the sick and needy. "Come unto me," Thou sayest, "all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give thee rest." These are the terms in which, from time to time, Thou repeatest the invitation to Thy table, and only on such occasions do I fully comprehend their meaning. I Dost Thou require a token that my penitential confessions proceed from the heart? Alas! full well I know that the tears I shed are not enough. A man never truly and at heart repents of his sin until he likewise parts with it, and desires to let it go. There is, I am aware, a false repentance that weeps, but only to be exempted from the penalties, in order that it may keep a firmer hold of the sin. And many, I am convinced, if called upon to part with their bosom sin at the 1 Psalm li. 7, 8. 2 Psalm xxxii. 2. threshold, would even tremble to enter heaven. Keep me from such hypocrisy, O my God! And yet, alas! few probably are wholly free from it; for, otherwise, how were it possible for days like the present to produce so immaterial a change in the customary routine of life? Ah! were the tears which are wept at the cross of Jesus not merely tears of a weak heart mourning over guilt, because guilt entails punishment; but were they, on the contrary, tears of a strong heart, hating sin because sin is hateful to God,—then, methinks, they would infallibly operate like a corrosive acid; and although they might not at once eat away all the proud flesh from the heart, surely they would at least separate between good and evil in the walk and conversation; surely they would cut furrows in the life which would be visible to the eye. Among the many delusions from which I need protection, keep me, I pray, from that of tears! Tears are, indeed, a precious fluid. Silent is their course as they trickle down the cheek, and yet they can cry to heaven more loudly than any prayer. Yes, great in the sight of God is the worth of genuine tears. Here, upon earth, we wipe them away, and to all appearance they are lost. But they are not lost. An angel collects the drops, and bears them into the presence of God.1 This, indeed, is only true of genuine tears. And in every case where these are shed, there also the heart has become a fountain welling forth other waters-waters which moisten and fertilise the soil, so that it produces fruit. Zaccheus shall be my pattern. He presented himself to the Saviour and said: "Behold, Lord, the half of my goods I give to the poor; and if I have taken anything from any man by false accusation, I restore him fourfold." 2 Here, then, by a decisive test, we recognise a soul really prepared to part with sin. In the same way I look around me to see how my errors may be repaired; and wherever this is possible, it shall be done. Have I neglected those holy ordinances and means of grace, which Thou, O Saviour, hast conferred 1 Psalm, lvi. 8. Luke, xix. 8. ་ན་ A s of Jesus not many of genuine tears. And in every case o be my pattern. He presented himse Luke, riti upon us; this very day will I begin a new course, resign myself afresh, in the exercise of calm meditation and the study of sacred Scripture, to the discipline of Thy Spirit, and cultivate closer fellowship with the children of God, that I may thence derive increase of strength. Have I been inattentive to my business; I will study to make up for past omissions. Have I dispensed my charities to the poor with niggard hand; henceforward I will shrink from no sacrifice in order to make compensation. Have I failed in affection to my relatives; I will confess my fault; for he who wants fortitude to humble himself before men, never truly humbles himself before Thee. The little good I have done has been done in such a way that the left hand knew too well what the right was doing. But most pleasing in Thy sight are the charitable actions which are performed in silence, like oil when it is poured forth; and the approval of the eye which seeth in secret should be more to me than the applause of all mankind. I know, however, that these vows will prove just as unsteadfast as those which have preceded them; and, alas! do what I can, I cannot make good the past. So long as the root is not thoroughly sanctified, how can the fruit be good and holy? Hence it is that I thirst for grace, for free grace, for the pledge of Thy forgiveness. During Thy sojourn upon earth Thou didst not disdain to be called the friend of publicans and sinners. Nor even now dost Thou refuse to enter the abode of a Zaccheus. To all like him Thou tenderest a pledge that, in spite of their sins, Thou hast not cast them off. Nay, as only in fellowship with Thee their souls can be healed, Thou unitest Thyself to them in spiritual wedlock. A holy thrill penetrates my soul when I receive Thy body and blood, and reflect who they are with whom Thou holdest such communion. And yet, O Lord, this is still Thy wondrous way, to humble and prostrate on the ground before Thou dost exalt. Thy language is, "I who dwell in the high and holy place, am with him that is of a contrite and humble spirit." 1 1 Isa. lvii. 15. |