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Jest of Mankind, and the meerest Jack-Pudding. He thinks himself a petty King, when he is only Pot-valiant; and talks of nothing less than the mighty Power, and perverted Authority he has of committing, or sending foberer People than himself to Prisons and Counters. However, there is one ridiculous Effect more of this fashionable Vice, which I cannot well omit; that it makes the arrantest Gossips of Men : when they discover all the Secrets they know, both at Bed and Board ; which, either common Modesty, or the least Grain of Fidelity, ought to conceal behind the Curtain. They readily fetch and carry Stories into all Companies they frequent, as Spaniels do Gloves; and they do less Service with their idle Tatling. They usually degenerate into the vilest Tale. Bearers, and most treacherous Blab-Tongues, both in Private and Publick, with their defamatory Slanders, and false Invectives against unspotted Innocence. Their Hearts are presently in their Mouths, at a Word speaking ; they can contain nothing that was said under the Rose ; out it all comes, like a rapid Flood; and then the rash Fools have soon fhot their Bolts : So that such leaky Blabbs as these, ought to be exploded out of humane Society and Conversation, with the keenest Satyr of a questão To'x Mynpore Eurólny, I hate a goslipping Tell-Tale ; as all odious Tatlers in their Cups ought to be spurn'd with the smartest Derision, according to Horace's ingenious Lampoon
- ne fidos inter amicos. Sit qui di&ta foràs eliminet ;There ought to be no Remembrance over Night, no telling of Tales out of Doors the next Day among sober, faithful, prudent Pote Companions. Let all Goslips, drunk or sober, of both Sexes, remember the Fate of Ascalaphus ; who was turn’d into an Owl for his Tale-Telling, upon another Occasion. But of all other Creatures living, the Female Drunkard is the most odious and abominable Monfter. . To say nothing of invidious Comparisons; nothing of the Sow wallowing in the Mire, nor the Dog returning to his Vomit. But behold the fad disagreeable Spectacle ! Lo the loathsome Beastliness of the A&ion Filthy, detestable and execrable in a Maid or Widow, in a Wife or Mother, to the last Degree of Rebuke and Condemnation, as well as Brutality! In short, she makes her self worse than a Beast of a Woman by Drunkenness, and so unnatural a Metamorphose, when in such a deplorable Condition !" When by often repeating the habitual Sins of false Cordials, strong Waters, or the Brandy Bottle, “c; She either sinks at once into an Antidote, an Aversion, and the Abhorrence of all Mankind ; or drops into the Grave, unpitied, unregard. ed, and perhaps unmarried also, to aggravate her Guilt, or finish her wretched State: Under this satyrical Reproach, Prov. Chap. XX. Ver. 1. That Wine is a Mucker ; strong Drink is raging; and whosoever is deceived thereby, is not wife. .
BE that as it will: A wise, discreet, fober Ministry and Magistracy, must be highly necessary in any State, to bring those to condign Punishment, that forget the Law by their intemperate Transgressions, among ungovernable Malt-Drinkers, as well as Bacchus's proa digal Sons, or profligate Disciples. For Mi
nisters nisters of Church or State, either Ecclesiastical ar Civil, will thereby fet a rare Example of Sobriety to inferiour People ; as they are still moving in a higher Sphere, like bright Stars in their Orbs, and sending forth their excellent Influences upon sublunary Bodies. They will take Care from Above, by a due and industrious Execution of their respe. ctive well. discharg'd Offices, that the Laws of the Land shall neither be forgotten, nor perverted Below ; either for Want of good Admonition, Encouragement and Rewards on the one Hand; or a strict Enquiry, severe Discouragement, and the Infliction of deserved Penalties on the other, after a fair Hearing on both sides of the Question in Dispute. They will impartially protect the Amicted, relieve the Oppresled, and discharge the Innocent from any perverse Prosecution of malicious Informers: Litigious Barreters, vexatious Pettifoggers, and perjur'd Knights of the Poft, will all be made sensible of their just Refentments; and forc'd, either to fly the Court, or to go to Church for Forgiveness, if they have any Grace left to re. pent of their Rogueries. In fine, they will never suffer Might to appress, or overcome Right, in any distressed Condition. Magistrates, of ă meaner Station, will likewise, in all humane Probability, by the Help of this diffusive Virtue, keep the common People in a due Decorun of their Duty, within their several Districts; and go nearer to reform the flagrant sin of intemperate Tipling, Junketing, Sporting or Sorting, &c. by their own devouter Practices upon Sundays, and sacred Times: Or at least endeavour, by their good Examples, to ftem the Tide, stop the Breach, and prevent its
over-flowing Half a Kingdom, as well as a Parish, with Prophaneness and Immorality. There's no conniving at such growing Inundations; and Rigour would do better than Remisness in this Case. But then they will only bring the Guilty and the gross Offender to Judgment, by a just Distinction ; and not harrass the Poor, or hinder afflicted People from getting an honest Livelihood, by the ACcommodation of moderate Refreshments, and necessary Supports of Life, without breaking the Sabbath. The Times are hard ; and they hope to see better Days, than either the greatest Rigour of the Law, or the largest Liberty of Conscience will ever produce, towards the Reformation of their Manners.
ANTIENT History, in fine, super-a-. bounds with such strange Instances, dismal Effects, and dreadful Punishments of this immoral Vice, as well as irreligious Prađice; either by brewing of Mischief, or by Acts of Oblivion, not only subverting the fundamental Laws, but also perverting the Judgment of the Afflicted: that the wholesome Doctrines I would advance from these Reflections, but for the Sake of Brevity, are self-evident to any Rea. der, or Observator of the meanest Capacity ;' taking it for granted, that Temperance must be wonderfully conducive to the publick Wel. fare, Justice and Felicity of a Nation. Not to press this Topick too far; but conclude without any more Enquiring, whether Oliver Cromwell himself was not a Brewer's Son, a very hard Drinker, or a worse Wench in his Life Time, as a certain Historian vouches it for a Truth, Heath's Fagellum; p. 8, 9, 10, 11, 12. in the Biography of this outragious young Tar
quin and licentious Debauchee, as well as rea gal Ravilher. However, he quite forgot his Maker, in wronging his Master, and murdering his Monarch ! In a word, he perverted the whole Kingdom
VERSE VI. GIVE strong Drink unto him that is rede
dy to perish; and Wine to those that be of heavy Hearts.
S if the good and gracious Queen
had said in other pressing Words í HP Hearken to my Advice, Son Soo D l omon! Better is a poor and wisë
Child, than an old and foolish King, who will no more be admonished. For out of Prisori he cometh to reign ; whereas also be that is born in his Kingdom becometh poor : as the Preacher, Eccl. Chap. IV. Ver. 13, 14. has it expresly But, and if thou either feest or hearest of any Person ready to famish with Hunger, and perill with Thirst ; under the pinching Di. stresses of Poverty, Need, Sorrow, Sickness, or any other Adversity: Give him freely of thy bounteous Liberality soinething that is comfortable, either to eat or to drink, or to restore him to his former Prosperity and good State of Health ; well-knowing, that the libee ral Soul Mall be made fat, and flourish by the meritorious Action. You may take it for granted, upon my Veracity, or the Word of God, that if the liberal Use of good Wine,