Now ye who oft have bask'd in blifs,
Shou'd know, that none can run and kifs,
Then answer my desire ;

Since Pæan's always on the poft,
How ye ambitiously can boast,
That he's your lord and fire?
A. Alas! 'tis far above your
Nor will our fire to mortals teach

reach,

The fecrets of his reign;
Were he the Sun alone to guide,
And Lord of no command befide,
Yet would your fearch be vain.
But our Apollo knows no bounds.
Nor is confin'd to earthly rounds,
O'er pow'rful arts he rules;
Phyfick and Mufick's tuneful strains,

With those foft charms that wound the fwains,
Firft iffued from his fchools.
In ev'ry province of his reign,
Some objects of his love remain,
But how he does carefs;

Nor will he to his off-fpring fhow,
Nor do they fearch out means to know,
Tho' they, perhaps, might guess.

But as for us who boaft his name,
He thus gave caufe to lay our claim,
As poets make appear;

Each night in Thetis lap he toys,
Whence having got a fet of boys,

Where fhou'd they dwell but here?

Q. Gentlemen, I am married to a pretty agreeable Gentleman, and the only perfon I love upon earth, yet am a most unfortunate creature by being extremely paffionate, that we very often jar : I am foon fenfible of my great fault and ask pardon, which he is so very good to grant me immediately; now I am under continual apprehenfions, that in time this will make him slight me; I had much rather lofe my two eyes than his love. I humbly entreat you will prefcribe me how to prevent my unhappy paffion, Let your rules be ever fo fevere, I will ftrictly follow them,

and

and hope for fuccefs, which obtain'd, I shall ever pray for ye all, &c.

4. This is the cafe of too many people, they are highly fenfible of the numerous inconveniences the practice of a folly brings 'em into, yet renew the fault at every fresh and flight occafion.

Confider, Madam, with your felf, that passion is, of all the imperfections of our human nature, the most unreasonable, most pernicious and infulting frailty; we'll grant you in the right, yet if you argue warmly and in paffion, it first deprives your felf of judginent to exprefs your thoughts intelligibly; and fecondly, fo heats the adverse party, that his anger fhuts the door against his reason, and hinders him from liftning mildly to the power of your argument.

Again, It renders your converfation, otherwife agreeable, undefired by your acquaintance, hazards lofs of dearest friends, and ftill expofes you to frequent inconveniences, whereas there is not one fmall good can. poffibly accrue from your indulging fo unloved a practice.

Thefe thoughts, if when alone you let them fill your ferjous contemplation, may prepare you for the. cure, we will prefcribe you, for this dangerous diftemper of your fickly mind.

You'll fay, perhaps, 'tis difficult; we own it madam, yet 'tis certain patience will direct you to fupport the pain and trouble of a little felf-contradiction; the endeavouring to conquer any vice predominant in our natures, is like fwimming for a while against the ftream, but brings you at the laft, to glide with pleafure down the tide, and meet no rub to ftop your

motion.

Let Phoebus, Madam, but perfuade you to one practice, that is, when you raise your husband's anger for the future, or begin to warm your converfation with a rifing heat of temper, to make a fix'd and ftedfaft refolution never to return an answer to what foever he may chance to fay, tho' never fo unreasonable, till you have told an hundred, and in that

time

time you'll cool your paffion by the interpofing breeze of fome more wife reflection.

To keep this refolution, make no oath, no folemn vow, or rafh imprudent wishes, left the devil tempting you to break 'em frequently, fhould double t'other guilt, by fuch a black and dangerous addition. Rather make a folemn promife every time you speak in paffion to your husband, before you tell the hundred we prescribe, you will the morning after give a pretty large and valuable fum of money, fuch as you'll be fure to find fome private want of, to the poor people round your neighbourhood; and by the grace of God, the conftant practice of this eafie rule will fhortly cure you of unreasonable passion.

Q. Gentlemen, What think you? Was Jacob guilty of fin, when he deceived his father Ifaac, as we read in Gen. xxvii. 19. when he faid, I am Efau thy first born ; and in ver. 24. Ifaac faid, Art thou my very fon Efau, and be faid I am?

A. That Jacob was guilty of fin, we appeal to his own confcience in the matter; My father peradventure will feel me, and 1 shall seem to him as a deceiver, and I shall bring a curfe upon me, and not a blessing. For these words may refer as well to the lyar, as to the fupplanter of his brother.

Q. I am fomewhat turn'd of 20, have a clear reputation, a tolerable education, and not to be defpifed for perfon, or any thing else, except want of money. It happen'd t'other day, as fortune was wantoning, fhe tofs'd an humble fervant at my feet, whofe circumstances are confiderable enough, but the most aukward wight for dress of body and mind that ever your rays yet glanc'd on. 18 thought fit to take a modeft but ridiculous method to declare its paffion, which I as odly rejected; not so much out of defign or ill manners, as inadvertency and furprize. I have not fince heard one word of him, nor perhaps, (knowing his temper and courage) never may again. Now ye dear little rogues, 'tis my humble request, To tell what you think of the matter,

Whether well I have done, or a fool's thread have spun, And what fill I must, if the latter?

4. Ma

A. Madam, You are to confider whether this lump be capable of being lick'd into any form, or may prove a manageable animal; if not, you may be as far from the enjoyment of his eftate, (which we prefume is the only temptation) after marriage as now. You witty young baggage the thread you'd then fpin, Confider full well e'er you make it ;

For it may last fo long, and be twisted fo ftrong, You'd return all he brings but to break it. Q. Why doth a dog fweat only on the tongue, and not on the skin?

4. Our opinion then is, that the dog's tongue doth not sweat, but we rather suppose the humour dropping from it in their pantings to be faliva: And that the natural conftriction, or ftraitness of their pores, prevents the perfpiration of humours thro' their skins.

Q. I have been a little wild of late, and have plaid the libertine, and presently I must be called a rake. Pray what doth that word mean?

A. The word rake may not improperly be derived from Racha, in Mat. v. 22. which fignifies an idle worthless fellow, fit only for the house of correction. Q. Why are cuckolds faid to go to heaven ?

A. As for their title to a place in heaven, we prefume they obtained it from the courtefie of the nation, who being fufficiently convinc'd of the miferable effects of matrimonial difcord, are willing to believe, that cuckolds have foft hearts with their hard foreheads, and easily receiving good impreffions become entituled to a future happiness, by a meek and patient refignation to their wives will, and that of providence.

Q. Ye heroes who worship,

His Delian godship,

I've a question at length to propofe you s

Which if you don't answer,

Without any fham, Sir,

By St. George I'm refolv'd to expose you.

I fain then would know,
Why a bull's horns do grow,
The longer for his caftration?
Why a rams are fo fmall,
Or fcarce grow at all,
By means of the fame operation?
A. Hold, hold, Mr. Purious.
That feemeft fo curious,
In the barren exploit of castration :
Prithee fee fifty four,

And you'll thence gather more,
Than you've learnt in that rank occupation.
Q. Great Apollo's bright fons,

Who dark quibbles and puns,

And doughty cramp questions unriddle;
Indulge me your answer,

To what I advance, Sir,
And hereafter I'll dance to your fiddle.
Pray tell us the place,

Where the firft of our race,
Of earth's richest duft was created?
Since the learned we find,

Are not all of one mind,
Where our forefather Adam was feated.
Then tell (if you can)

The ground to a span,

Bout which they have made fo much pother?
Apollo must know,

(Who fees all below)

For furely 'twas fomewhere or other.

And when you have found,

That rare fpot of Ground,

Oblige us yet farther by telling

What language was spoke

By the mates in the Yoke,

Before they were forc'd from their dwelling 4. If to hear us you please,

Five and thirty degrees,

From