VII.

IN THE CLUTCHES OF THE POLICE AGAIN.

This state of things could not last forever, and within three months I was in the police station again. That first night in the police cells I slept as I had not slept since I escaped from prison. What I had dreaded had come to pass; my terror was gone and I was free from care.

I got five months in prison and should have known enough by this time to have behaved myself, but about forty days before my time was up I had a fight with one of the inmates and six months were added to my sentence. During this time my father died and my old mother was left alone. Well did I know that she was awaiting the return of her wayward son, counting off the days on her fingers until I should come back to her repentant, and yet I cared nothing for her suffering, and continued in my wrongdoing. Surely there was never a more ungrateful son than I!

When I came out I was just twenty-nine years of age. I returned home, and later, without consulting my mother, ransomed a prostitute and made her my wife. I straightened up, however, and started watchmaking, a trade I had learned in prison; and my mother, my wife and I lived together happily for nearly three years, although we had very little to live on. During my days of wrongdoing I had never known what true happiness meant, even when I had plenty to

IN THE CLUTCHES OF THE POLICE AGAIN eat and drink, because there was no real peace in my heart.

All went well for a time, until one day a man I had known in prison came to see me, and by way of celebrating the occasion we took a drink together and then another, and another, until finally the lure* of the old life returned upon me and I started in on a course of crime again. My wife discovered what was going on and advised me to get away from Nagoya and move to Tokyo. At this time my mother was seventy-two years of age. I took my wife's advice, moved up to Tokyo with my family and rented a small house in Asakusa ward. This was in April, 1902. My wife began selling small wares, and I wandered about looking for work. I finally opened a bakeshop in Iriyamachi in Shitaya ward, but I knew nothing of the business and soon failed. Then one day I met an old pal in Asakusa ward and fell into temptation once more. Had I been really repentant I need not have fallen again, but the temptation came just when I had failed in business and was discouraged. Of course my repentance was only superficial.

* Literally: "Rust appeared on the iron again."

VIII.

ELEVEN YEARS IN PRISON

I now abandoned my wife and aged mother, committed a burglary, was caught and sent to prison for eleven years. As I had given a false name, my family had no way of tracing my whereabouts. What distress they must have endured on my account! I have no words to express the enormity of my unfilial conduct. I learned long afterwards, when I returned from prison, that my wife and mother went back to their old home in Nagoya, where my mother shortly afterwards died brokenhearted on account of her wayward son. This prison where I spent eleven years was in Chiba, a province bordering on Tokyo.

I wish to say something about my prison life during these years. I was not at all repentant, and determined to break prison and escape. After a great deal of trouble I got hold of a nail about an inch and a half long, sharpened it on the edge of a piece of earthenware, and made a gimlet with three turns in it. After twenty days' work I managed to bore a hole with it and break a lock. Three of us had planned to escape together, but the first to start out was caught by an official and our attempt came to nothing. This should have taught me a lesson, but instead I kept racking my brains to find some other means of escape. At last I succeeded in making a saw about three inches and a half long, smuggled it into my cell, and began to cut the bars of my window. When I had got the bars almost sawn

ELEVEN YEARS IN PRISON

through, the plot was discovered and I was severely punished. I was hand-cuffed, my feet were chained together, and I was kept in that condition day and night for some time. This cruel treatment was, however, no more than I deserved.

When I had tried to escape six months before, the officials had been very lenient with me, so I had only myself to blame for the severe treatment I received this time. Had I been an ordinary mortal I should surely have repented and apologised to the officials, but I only got more desperate and paid no attention to anything that was said to me. I was being constantly punished for breaking rules. I thought all restraint was cruelty and was filled with hate against everyone. I could not even live in peace with the other inmates, but quarrelled and fought with them. Finally I was put into solitary confinement.

IX.

FROM BAD TO WORSE.

My solitary confinement had the effect of making me still more stubborn and unmanageable. I cursed my jailors, fought with them, smashed the furniture in my cell, and altogether acted like a madman. I was spoken of by the officials as an amazing scoundrel. One day I complained because I was being watched constantly. As I think of this today I realise how unreasonable it was to grumble about this, when I was constantly deceiving the officials and breaking rules. Needless to

say, I was being punished all the time. Out of my eleven years' imprisonment I was at least half the time in solitary confinement, and I do not remember how many times I was punished otherwise.

The most severe form of punishment I endured, however, was to be deprived for ten days at a stretch, of the privilege of working. I was put into a cell all by myself, was not let out even for exercise, nor permitted to read nor to leave the cell day or night. Then besides all this I was not allowed to do any work. To anyone who has never gone through such an experience it may seem strange to think of enforced idleness as a punishment; but it is a fearful experience to be obliged to sit still for ten long days at a stretch without doing anything whatever. While working, the mind is active and one does not notice suffering. I was otherwise punished by being put on short rations and kept in a dark room, but these forms of punishment I did not mind at all.