Sail like my pinnace to these golden shores. And high and low beguiles the rich and poor : Tester I'll have in pouch when thou shalt lack, Base Phrygian Turk! Nym. I have operations which be humours of revenge. Pist. Wilt thou revenge? Nym. By welkin and her star! Pist. With wit or steel? Nym. With both the humours, I: I will discuss the humour of this love to Page. How Falstaff, varlet vile, His dove will prove, his gold will hold, 100 Nym. My humour shall not cool: I will incense Page to deal with poison; I will possess him with yellowness, for this revolt of mine is dangerous that is my true humour. Pist. Thou art the Mars of malecontents: I second thee; troop on. [Exeunt. SCENE IV. A room in DOCTOR CAIUS's house. Enter MISTRESS QUICKLY, SIMPLE, and RUGBY, Quick. What, John Rugby! I pray thee, go to the casement, and see if you can see my master, Master Doctor Caius, coming. If he do, i' faith, and find any body in the house, here will be an old abusing of God's patience and the king's English. Rug. I'll go watch. Quick. Go; and we'll have a posset for't soon at night, in faith, at the latter end of a sea-coal fire. [Exit Rugby.] An honest, willing, kind fellow, as ever servant shall come in house withal, and, I warrant you, no tell-tale nor no breedbate his worst fault is, that he is given to prayer; he is something peevish that way: but nobody but has his fault; but let that pass. Peter Simple, you say your name is ? Sim. Ay, for fault of a better. Quick. And Master Slender's your master? Sim. Ay, forsooth. Quick. Does he not wear a great round beard, like a glover's paring-knife? 21 Sim. No, forsooth; he hath but a little wee face, with a little yellow beard, a Cain-coloured beard. Quick. A softly-sprighted man, is he not? Sim. Ay, forsooth: but he is as tall a man of his hands as any is between this and his head; he hath fought with a warrener. Quick. How say you? O, I should remember him: does he not hold up his head, as it were, and strut in his gait? Sim. Yes, indeed, does he. Quick. Well, heaven send Anne Page no worse fortune! Tell Master Parson Evans I will do what I can for your master: Anne is a good girl, and I wish Re-enter RUGBY. Rug. Out, alas! here comes my master. Quick. We shall all be shent. Run in here, good young man; go into this closet: he will not stay long. [Shuts Simple in the closet.] What, John Rugby! Jolin! what, John, I say! Go, John, go inquire for my master; I doubt he be not well, that he comes not home. [Singing] And down, down, adown-a, &c. Enter DOCTOR CAIUS. 43 Caius. Vat is you sing? I do not like des toys. Pray you, go and vetch me in my closet un boiter vert, a box, a green-a box: do intend vat I speak? a green-a box. Quick. Ay, forsooth; I'll fetch it you. [Aside] I am glad he went not in himself if he had found the young man, he would have been horn mad. Caius. Fe, fe, fe, fe! ma foi, il fait fort chaud. Je m'en vais a la cour-la grande affaire. Quick. Is it this, sir? 52 Caius. Oui; mette le au mon pocket; depeche, quickly. Vere is dat knave, Rugby? Quick. What, John Rugby! John! Rug. Here, sir! Caius. You are John Rugby, and you are Jack Rugby. Come, take-a your rapier, and come after my heel to the court. Rug. "Tis ready, sir, here in the porch. 62 Caius. By my trot, I tarry too long. Od's me! Qu'aij'oublie dere is some simples in my closet, dat I vill not for the varld I shall leave behind. Quick. Ay, me, he'll find the young man there, and be mad. Caius. O diable, diable! vat is in my closet? Villain! larron! [Pulling Simple out.] Rugby, my rapier! 72 Quick. Good master, be content. Caius. Wherefore shall I be content-a? Quick. The young man is an honest man. Caius. What shall de honest man do in my closet? dere is no honest man dat shall come in my closet. Quick. I beseech you, be not so phlegmatic. Hear the truth of it: he came of an errand to me from Parson Hugh. Caius. Vell. Sim. Ay, forsooth; to desire her to- Caius. Peace-a your tongue. Speak-a your tale. 81 Sim. To desire this honest gentlewoman, your maid, to speak a good word to Mistress Anne Page for my master in the way of marriage. Quick. This is all, indeed, la ! but I'll ne'er put my finger in the fire, and need not. 91 Caius. Sir Hugh send-a you? Rugby, baille me some paper. Tarry you a little-a while. [Writes. Quick. [Aside to Simple] I am glad he is so quiet if he had been thoroughly moved, you should have heard him so loud and so melancholy. But notwithstanding, man, I'll do you your master what good I can: and the very yea and the no is, the French doctor, my master,-I may call him my master, look you, for I keep his house; and I wash, wring, brew, bake, scour, dress meat and drink, make the beds, and do all myself, Sim. [Aside to Quickly] 'Tis a great charge to come under one body's hand. Quick. [Aside to Simple] Are you avised o' that? you shall find it a great charge and to be up early and down late; but noth withstanding,-to tell you in your ear; I would have no words of it,-my master himself is in love with Mistress Anne Page: but notwithstanding that, I know Anne's mind, -that's neither here nor there. Cuius. You jack'nape, give-a this letter to Sir Hugh; by gar, it is a shallenge: I will cut his troat in de park; and I will teach a scurvy jack-a-nape priest to meddle or make. You may be gone; it is not good you tarry here. By gar, I will cut all his two stones; by gar, he shall not have a stone to throw at his dog. [Exit Simple. 120 Quick. Alas, he speaks but for his friend. Caius. It is no matter-a ver dat do not you tell-a me dat I shall have Anne Page for myself? Dy gar, I vill kill de Jack priest; and I have appointed mine host of de Jar SHAK. I.-5 teer to measure our weapon. By gar, I will myself have Anne Page. Quick. Sir, the maid loves you, and all shall be well. We must give folks leave to prate: what, the good-jer! Caius. Rugby, come to the court with me. By gar, if I have not Anne Page, I shall turn your head out of my door. Follow my heels, Rugby. [Exeunt Caius and Rugby. No, Quick. You shall have An fool's head of your own. I know Anne's mind for that: never a woman in Windsor knows more of Anne's mind than I do; nor can do more than I do with her, I thank heaven. Fent. [Within.] Who's within there? ho! Quick. Who's there, I trow! Come near the house, I pray you. 141 Enter FENTON. Fent. How now, good woman! how dost thou? Quick. The better that it pleases your good worship to ask. Fent. What news? how does pretty Mistress Anne? Qaick. In truth, sir, and she is pretty, and honest, and gentle; and one that is your friend, I can tell you that by the way; I praise heaven for it. 151 Fent. Shall I do any good, thinkest thou? shall I not lose my suit? Quick. Troth, sir, all is in his hands above but notwithstanding, Master Fenton, I'll be sworn on a book, she loves you. Have not your worship a wart above your eye? Fent. Yes, marry, have 1; what of that? Quick. Well, thereby hangs a tale; good faith, it is such another Nan; but, I detest, an honest maid as ever broke bread we had an hour's talk of that wart. I shall never laugh but in that maid's company! But indeed she is given too much to allicholy and musing: but for you-well, go to. Fent. Well, I shall see her to-day. Hold, there's money for thee; let me have thy voice in my behalf: if thou seest her before me, commend me. Quick. Will I? i' faith, that we will; and I will tell your worship more of the wart the next time we have confidence; and of other wooers. Fent. Well, farewell; I am in great haste now. Quick. Farewell to your worship. [Erit Fenton.] Truly, an honest gentleman; but Anne loves him not; for I know Anne's mind as well as another does. Out upon't! what have I forgot? [Exit. 180 ACT II. SCENE 1. Before PAGE's house. Enter MISTRESS PAGE, with a letter. Mrs. Page. What, have I scaped love-letters in the holiday-time of my beauty, and am I now a subject for them? Let me see. [Reads. "Ask me no reason why I love you; for though Love use Reason for his physician, he admits him not for his counsellor. You are not young, no more am I; go to then, there's sympathy: you are merry, so am I; ha, ha! then there's more sympathy: you love sack, and so do I; would you desire better sympathy? Let it suffice thee, Mistress Page, -at the least, if the love of soldier can suffice,-that I love thee. I will not say, pity me; 'tis not a soldier-like phrase; but I say, love me. By me, Thine own true knight, Or any kind of light, For thee to fight, JOHN FALSTAFF.” What a Herod of Jewry is this! O wicked, wicked world ! One that is well nigh worn to pieces with age to show himself a young gallant! What an unweighed behaviour hath this Flemish drunkard picked-with the devil's name !—out of my conversation, that he dares in this manner assay me? Why, he hath not been thrice in my company! What should I say to him? I was then frugal of my mirth: Heaven forgive me! Why, I'll exhibit a bill in the parliament for the putting down of men. How shall I be revenged on him? for revenged I will be, as sure as his guts are made of puddings. Enter MISTRESS FORD. Mrs. Ford. Mistress Page! trust me, I was going to your house. Mrs. Page. And, trust me, I was coming to you. You look very ill. Mrs. Ford. Nay, I'll ne'er believe that; I have to show to the contrary. Mrs. Page. Faith, but you do, in my mind. Mrs. Ford. Well, I do then; yet I say I could show you to the contrary. O Mistress Page, give me some counsel ! Mrs. Page. What's. the matter, woman? Mrs. Ford. O woman, if it were not for one trifling respect, I could come to such honour! |