Speed.

"Item: she is proud."

Launce. Out with that too; it was Eve's legacy, and can

not be ta'en from her.

Speed. "Item: she hath no teeth."

Launce. I care not for that neither, because I love crusts. Speed. "Item: She is curst."

Launce. Well, the best is, she hath no teeth to bite. Speed. "Item: She will often praise her liquor." 351 Launce. If her liquor be good, she shall: if she will not, I will; for good things should be praised.

Speed, Item: She is too liberal."

Launce. Of her tongue she cannot, for that's writ down she is slow of; of her purse she shall not, for that I'll keep shut now, of another thing she may, and that cannot I help. Well, proceed. 360

Speed. Item: She hath more hair than wit, and more faults than hairs, and more wealth than faults."

Launce. Stop there; I'll have her: she was mine, and not mine, twice or thrice in that last article.

that once more.

Rehearse

Speed. Item: She hath more hair than wit,"— Launce. More hair than wit? It may be; I'll prove it. The cover of the salt hides the salt, and therefore it is more than the salt; the hair that covers the wit is more than the wit, for the greater hides the less. What's next? Speed. "And more faults than hairs,'

Launce. That's monstrous: 0, that that were out!
Speed. "And more wealth than faults."

Launce. Why, that word makes the faults gracious. Well, I'll have her and if it be a match, as nothing is impossible.

Speed. What then?

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Launce. Why, then will I tell thee-that thy master stays for thee at the North-gate.

Speed. For me?

Launce. For thee! ay, who art thou? he hath stayed for a better man than thee.

Speed. And must I go to him?

Launce. Thou must run to him, for thou hast stayed so long that going will scarce serve the turn.

Speed. Why didst not tell me sooner? pox of your loveletters ! [Exit. 391 Launce. Now will he be swinged for reading my letter; an unmannerly slave, that will thrust himself into secrets! I'll after, to rejoice in the boy's correction.

SHAK. I.-4

[Exit.

1

SCENE II.

The same. The DUKE's palace.

Enter DUKE and THURIO.

Duke. Sir Thurio, fear not but that she will love you,

Now Valentine is banish'd from her sight.

Thu. Since his exile she hath despised me most, Forsworn my company and rail'd at me,

That I am desperate of obtaining her.

Duke. This weak impress of love is as a figure
Trenched in ice, which with an hour's heat
Dissolves to water and doth lose his form.
A little time will melt her frozen thoughts
And worthless Valentine shall be forgot.

Enter PROTEUS.

How now, Sir Proteus! Is your countryman
According to our proclamation gone?
Pro. Gone, my good lord.

Duke. My daughter takes his going grievously.
Pro. A little time, my lord, will kill that grief.
Duke. So I believe; but Thurio thinks not so.
Proteus, the good conceit I hold of thee-
For thou hast shown some sign of good desert-
Makes me the better to confer with thee.

Pro. Longer than I prove loyal to your grace
Let me not live to look upon your grace.

Duke. Thou know'st how willingly I would effect The match between Sir Thurio and my daughter. Pro. I do, my lord.

Duke. And also, I think, thou art not ignorant
How she opposes her against my will.

Pro She did, my lord, when Valentine was here.
Duke. Ay, and perversely she perseveres so.
What might we do to make the girl forget
The love of Valentine and love Sir Thurio?
Pro. The best way is to slander Valentine
With falsehood, cowardice and poor descent,
Three things that women highly hold in hate.
Duke. Ay, but she'll think that it is spoke in hate
Pro. Ay, if his enemy deliver it :

Therefore it must with circumstance be spoken
By one whom she esteemeth as a friend.

Duke. Then you must undertake to slander him.

Pro. And that, my lord, I shall be loath to do: 'Tis an ill office for a gentleman,

Especially against his very friend.

Duke. Where your good word cannot advantage him,

Your slander never can endamage him;
Therefore the office is indifferent,

Being entreated to it by your friend.

Pro. You have prevail'd, my lord: if I can do it
By ought that I can speak in his dispraise,
She shall not long continue love to him.

But say this weed her love from Valentine,

It follows not that she will love Sir Thurio.

Thu. Therefore, as you unwind her love from him, Lest it should ravel and be good to none,

You must provide to bottom it on me;

Which must be done by praising me as much

As you in worth dispraise Sir Valentine.

Duke. And, Proteus, we dare trust you in this kind, Because we know, on Valentine's report,

You are already Love's firm votary

And cannot soon revolt and change your mind.
Upon this warrant shall you have access
Where you with Silvia may confer at large;
For she is lumpish, heavy, melancholy,

And, for your friend's sake, will be glad of you;
Where you may temper her by your persuasion
To hate young Valentine and love my friend.
Pro. As much as I can do, I will effect:
But you, Sir Thurio, are not sharp enough;
You must lay line to tangle her désires
By wailful sonnets, whose composed rhymes
Should be full-fraught with serviceable vows.
Duke. Ay,

Much is the force of heaven-bred poesy.

Pro. Say that upon the altar of her beauty
You sacrifice your tears, your sighs, your heart:
Write till your ink be dry, and with your tears
Moist it again, and frame some feeling line
That may discover such integrity:

For Orpheus' lute was strung with poets' sinews,

Whose golden touch could soften steel and stones,
Make tigers tame and huge leviathans

Forsake unsounded deeps to dance on sands.

Visit by night your lady's chamber-window

After your dire-lamenting elegies,

With some sweet concert; to their instruments'
Tune a deploring dump: the night's dead silence
Will well become such sweet-complaining grievance.
This, or else nothing, will inherit her.

Duk. This discipline shows thou hast been in love.
Thu. And thy advice this night I'll put in practice.

Therefore, sweet Proteus, my direction-giver,
Let us into the city presently

To sort some gentlemen well skill'd in music.

I have a sonnet that will serve the turn

To give the onset to thy good advice.

Duke. About it, gentlemen!

Pro. We'll wait upon your grace till after supper, And afterward determine our proceedings.

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Duke. Even now about it! I will pardon you. [Exeunt.

ACT IV.

SCENE I. The frontiers of Mantua. A forest.

Enter certain Outlaws.

First Out. Fellows, stand fast, I see a passenger.
Sec. Out. If there be ten, shrink not, but down with 'em.

Enter VALENTINE and SPEED.

Third Out. Stand, sir, and throw us that you have about

ye:

If not, we'll make you sit and rifle you.

Speed. Sir, we are undone; these are the villains That all the travellers do fear so much.

Val. My friends,

1 First Out. That's not so, sir: we are your enemies. Sec. Out. Peace! we'll hear him.

Third Out. Ay, by my beard, will we, for he's a proper

man.

Val. Then know that I have little wealth to lose :

A man I am cross'd with adversity;

My riches are these poor habiliments.

Of which if you should here disfurnish me,

You take the sum and substance that I have.

Sec. Out. Whither travel you?

Val. To Verona.

First Out. Whence came you?

Val. From Milan.

10

Third Out. Have you long sojourned there?

20

Val. Some sixteen months, and longer might have stay'd

If crooked fortune had not thwarted me.

First Out. What, were you banish'd thence?

Val. I was.

Sec. Out. For what offence?

Val. For that which now torments me to rehearse :

I kill'd a man, whose death I must repent;

But yet I slew him manfully in fight,
Without false vantage or base treachery.

First Out. Why, ne'er repent it, if it were done so. 30 Bat were you banish'd for so small a fault?

Val. I was, and held me glad of such a doom.

S. Out. Have you the tongues?

Val. My youthful travel therein made me happy,

Or else I often had been miserable.

Third Out. By the bare scalp of Robin Hood's fat friar, This fellow were a king for our wild faction?

First Out. We'll have him. Sirs, a word.

Speed. Master, be one of them; it's an honourable kind

of thievery.

Val. Peace, villain !

Sec. Out. Tell us this: have you any thing to take to? Val. Nothing but my fortune.

Third Out. Know, then, that some of us are gentlemen, Such as the fury of ungovern'd youth

Thrust from the company of awful men :
Myself was from Verona banished

For practising to steal away a lady,

An heir, and near allied unto the duke.

40

Sec. Out. And I from Mantua, for a gentleman,

50

Who, in my mood, I stabb'd unto the heart.

First Out. And I for such like petty crimes as these.

But to the purpose-for we cite our faults,

That they may hold excus'd our lawless lives;

And partly, seeing you are beautified

With goodly shape and by your own report

A linguist and a man of such perfection

As we do in our quality much want

Sec. Out. Indeed, because you are a banish'd man,

Therefore, above the rest, we parley to you:

Are you content to be our general?

To make a virtue of necessity

And live, as we do, in this wilderness?

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Third Out. What say'st thou? wilt thou be of our consort?

Say ay, and be the captain of us all :

We'll do thee homage and be ruled by thee,

Love thee as our commander and our king

First Out. But if thou scorn our courtesy, thou diest.

Sc. Out. Thou shalt not live to brag what we have offer'd. Val. I take your offer and will live with you.

Provided that you do no outrages

On silly women or poor passengers.

Third Out. No, we detest such vile base practices. Come, go with us, we'll bring thee to our crews,

70