DR. MONSEY. Dr. Messenger Monsey, who was many years physician to Chelsea College, and known all over the metropolis for his eccentricities, used, by way of ridiculing family pride, to say, that the first of his ancestors, of any note, was a baker, and dealer in hops; a trade which enabled him with some difficulty to support a large family. To procure a present sum of money, he robbed the feather beds of their contents; and supplied the deficiency with unsaleable hops. In a few years, a severe blight universally prevailing, hops became very scarce, and enormously dear; the hoarded treasure was ripped out, and a good sum procured for hops, which, in a plentiful season, would not have been saleable: "And thus," the doctor used to add, "our family hopped from obscurity." The doctor enjoyed the office of physician to Chelsea Hospital for so long a period, for he lived to the great age of ninety-six, that the reversion of the place was successively promised to many persons, who never lived to see it vacant. The gentleman for whom it was last intended, having gone out to Chelsea, to take a view of his land of promise, the doctor saw him from his window examining very curiously the house and gardens; and guessing the purpose of his visit, he went out, and thus accosted him: "Well, sir, I see you are examining your house and gardens that are to be; and I can assure you they are both very pleasant, and very convenient: but I must tell you one circumstance; you are the fifth man that has had the reversion of the place, and I have buried them all; and what is more, there is something in your face, that tells me I shall bury you too!" Not only was the doctor's prediction verified; but of such bad omen did the reversion to the physicianship of Chelsea, become at last, that nobody would accept of it; and at the doctor's death, there was no one who had the promise of the situation. Although the doctor was a man of great whimsicality, he possessed a very comprehensive understanding, and no small share of wit and genius. He numbered among his most intimate friends, some of the greatest men of his time, and among others, that great statesman, Lord Godolphin. Of Monsey's skill in his professional capacity, the proofs on record are not so satisfactory. He is said to have adopted a very singular mode of drawing his own teeth: it consisted in fastening a strong piece of catgut firmly round the affected tooth; the other end was fixed to a perforated bullet: with this a pistol was charged, and when held in a proper direction, by touching the trigger, a troublesome companion, and tedious operation, were got rid of. A person whom the doctor fancied he had persuaded to adopt this new mode of operation, went so far as to let him fasten the catgut to the tooth; his resolution then failed, and he loudly cried out, that he had altered his mind. "But I have not," said Monsey, holding fast the string, and giving it a smart pull, 66 'you are a fool and a coward for your pains." The doctor had a taste for mechanics; and to this, his mode of tooth-drawing may with probability be ascribed. An apartment of his house he had converted into a workshop, and filled with a confused collection of wheels, pendulums, nails, saws, hammers, chisels, and other instruments of handicraft. As long as age and eye-sight permitted, he would amuse himself here the whole day long, and took particular pleasure in executing all sorts of joiners' work, either for himself, or any of his friends. In his habits, the doctor was penurious and saving; and like all misers, one of his chief cares was the care of his treasures; he was often at a loss to know which place was the safest to deposit his cash in; for bureaus and strong boxes, he knew were not always secure. Previous to a journey into Norfolk, one summer, he selected the fire-place of his sitting room, for his treasury; and placed the bank notes and cash, under the cinders and shavings. On his return, after a month's absence, he found his old woman preparing to treat a friend or two with tea, and in order to show the more respect to her guests, the parlour fire-place was selected for boiling the kettle, as she never expected her master until she saw him. The fire had just been lighted, when the doctor arrived at the critical moment; he rushed, without speaking, to the pump, where luckily a pail of water was standing: he threw the whole over the fire, and the poor old woman, who was diligently employed in removing it. His money was safe; for although some of the notes were partially burnt, sufficient fragments remained to enable the doctor, with some official trouble, to get paid at the bank. ON A SKULL, BY CYRIL TOURNEUR. "There's an eye, Able to tempt a great man- -to serve God: A pretty hanging lip, that has forgot now to dissemble. A drunkard clasp his teeth, and not undo 'em To suffer wet damnation to run through 'em." A LONDON ADVERTISEMENT. In 8vo. 17. 11s. 6d. A PORTRAIT of WASHINGTON IRVING (Author of the Sketch Book, &c.) with Ten Plates to illustrate the Sketch Book, and Knickerbocker's New York; from designs by C. R. Leslie, A. R. A. engraved by Scriven, Heath, Rolls, Romney, W. & E. Finden, and A. W. Warren.-Only Twenty-five Copies, Proofs India.Fifty Copies, only, Proofs 4to. Printed for John Murray, Albemarle-street. FROM THE LONDON LITERARY GAZETTE. Heraldic Anomalies; or Rank Confusion in our Orders of Precedence: with Disquisitions, Moral, Philosophical, and Historical, on all the Existing Orders of Society. By "It matters not who." 12mo. 2 vols. London, 1823. G. & W. B. Whittaker. A DESULTORY but well-written Preface soon shows us that the author of this publication is a man of extensive reading,—a classical scholar, a gleaner of choice things, a bit of a humorist, and a very entertaining literary companion We believe we are not wrong in identifying him with the writer of another original volume, Thinks I to myself, which had, what the booksellers love to call, a great run. The present book, though of rather a heavier framework, is replete with similar chit-chat, anecdote, and learned recollections. There is a dry spirit in the remarks, which often points them forcibly; and there is much information on various subjects, not lessened in value by the peculiar manner in which it is put before us. Under the heads of Lady, Doctor, Captain, Bishop, Baronet, &c. &c. the author takes not only heraldic views of almost every rank and station,-traces etymologies, and examines questions of etiquette; but also introduces a number of stories and quotations, which bear upon his essays, and illustrate his positions very pleasantly. Of this we shall endeavour in our turn, to furnish proof, by dipping into his pages where we have found them most amusing, and thence borrowing what we fancy will best suit the tastes of our readers. Treating of the title of Captain, after noticing the difference in rank between Captains of the navy and army, "It matters not who" adds, ***This difference, under the same title, bears particularly hard upon the gentlemen of the navy; from the circumstances of age. It must be something to have risen high in such active professions at an early age; it must be proportionally mortifying to bear the marks of age without promotion. Yet what ordinary person could guess, when he hears four individuals in company, each called Captain,' two perhaps rather advanced in years, one in middle life, and one a smart dashing young man, that they were not all Captains in the same degree. How could he be brought to fancy, that the latter only (Captain D. for instance) was really a Captain, while Captain A. was a Colonel, Captain B. a LieutenantColonel, and Captain C. a Major? Might he not blunder so far as to suppose the youngest man the best Captain of all, as having attained to that rank so early in life, while the latter had been standing still, or through want of merit, or want of interest, (which I am sorry to say, is want of merit in many people's eyes,) had missed of farther promotion? I have been in the way of feeling for persons in this situation. Where the young military Captain in his red coat (being on full pay and on duty in peace time,) and decorated with honours, for one or two campaigns, has drawn the attention of the whole company, while the much more experienced, but modest Naval Captain in his brown coat, scarcely attracted any notice at all. Lieutenant is a title seldom used in company, otherwise what has been said of the naval and military Captain, would equally apply to the Lieutenants. The titles being the same, but the ranks different; a Lieutenant in the Navy having, in fact, the rank of a Captain in the Army. "In France, if I mistake not, these things are managed better; their Naval Officers having military titles, as well as military rank; their Admirals being Generals, &c. :-It would seem preposterously absurd to associate a Colonel with a military Serjeant, but let the former be in company with a Serjeant at Law, and their rank would be equal; and yet one would be distinguished from the other only as Colonel A. and Sergeant B.; or Serjeant A. and Colonel B. "Even our title of General was once very strangely mistaken, and by no less a personage than the celebrated King of Prussia, Frederic II. It happened thus: "A great intimacy and friendship, private as well as political, subsisted between the late Lord Ash-n (Mr. D- -g) and Colonel Barré. They travelled to the continent together, and chanced to arrive at Berlin or Potsdam (I forget which) exactly at the time of a grand review. Being particularly desirous of seeing it, they found means to be presented to the King on the very ground; as two Englishmen of distinction, and members of the British Parliament. Colonel Barré as Colonel Barré, and D―g as the King's Solicitor General. Frederic knew enough of Colonels and Generals, to be caught by the sound of such titles, never dreaming that in this particular instance they were not equally military. War-horses, richly caparisoned, were immediately offered to the English Colonel and General, and of necessity accepted. The Colonel rode like a Colonel, but the General no better than any other Solicitor-General, and very unlike what the Prussian troops. and Frederic himself had been accustomed to see in the field. The horse besides on which he rode, being under the same mistake as his royal master, was not sparing of his military movements, to the no small embarrassment of his law-full rider, who being quite unused to such actions, had a hard difficulty to keep his seat, and in going through the various manoeuvres, which he had no means of controlling, afforded considerable amusement to the company at large." On the subject of "attributes and significant titles," we have also some ingenious observations *** "All distinctions by attributes, whether in the concrete or abstract, are hazardous, and likely to run into incongruities. Of the Ducal Archiepiscopal Title of Grace,' for instance, which is of this nature, what shall we say? I know what it betokens; Gratia, decor, Venustas, &c.: but how strange it would appear to say VOL. III. No. 13.-Museum. K to a Duke or an Archbishop, will your comeliness,' 'beauty,' or 'fine mien,' do me the honour of dining with me? I shall be proud to wait upon your Felicity,' or Becomingness.' 6 "If the Title imply that the high personages themselves are really 'Graces,' we fall into greater difficulties; for, mythologically speaking, what Duke or Archbishop could wish to be taken for Aglaia, Thalia, or Euphrosyne, the daughters of Bacchus and Venus? with Duchesses it might be different, though Seneca would supply us with an objection applicable even to Duchesses, unless they happened to be so in their own right, de Beneficiis i. c. 3. I was amused with the application of the mythological title once to three very great personages, in a message from a card-table. One of the party, a very young man, being importuned to give up his cards, and go into another drawing-room, where there were many beautiful young ladies, excused himself by sending them word, that he could not come directly, as he was playing with 'the three Graces;' who, in fact, were a Duke and a Duchess, and the late amiable Archbishop of . In regard to this Title of Grace, I cannot see why the Lord Chancellor, in his official capacity, should not be called so, as much as the two Archbishops, between whom he takes his rank; he precedes all Dukes, and if called upon to act as High Steward on state trials, is then actually so entitled! but this, by the bye-before however I take leave of the title of Grace, as belonging to our Archbishops, I cannot forbear giving a hint to dictionary makers, in their expositions and illustrations of such marks of dignity. In Chambers's Cyclopædia, I find the term Arch, for instance, explained in a very incautious manner; Arch, from apxes, princeps, summus, prince or chief. Thus we say Arch-Fool, Arch-Rogue; so also, Arch-Bishop, ArchTreasurer, Arch-Angel!"" The following also makes us acquainted with some curious facts, with which, we presume, not many persons, even in the Herald's College, are familiar : "The order of precedence as it affects the Daughters of Peers, has something very strange in it. It may not perhaps be generally known, that unmarried daughters have always the same rank as their eldest brother, during the lifetime of the father; and this independent of the particular title which by courtesy the brother may bear. A Duke's eldest son, for instance, ranks as a Marquess; consequently all his sisters, unmarried, have the rank of Marchionesses, though he himself should be nominally, but an Earl or Baron. For the title of Marquess being less ancient than the latter, is not the second title of the oldest and highest Dukes of the realm. The Duke of Norfolk's eldest son is only Earl of Surry, and the Duke of Somerset's eldest son but Baron Seymour. Still their daughters would all rank as Marchionesses till they married, and under particular circumstances, even afterwards; which forms one of the strangest anomalies of all. For if a Duke had ten daughters, three of whom were to marry Earls; three, Viscounts; and |