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A closer, keener memory
Of the loathed nature of their tie.
How beit Ching, I've always heard,
Preserved his wrath and kept his word,
And sternly left to other chances
Of love and conquest, Lady Frances
Wherefore beware, ye girls who charm us,
How you ’re alarmed, or how alarm us;
wish for life to suit us, Send men--you take the hint-to shoot us ! And now our brothers Bond Street enter ;Dear street of London's charms the centre ! Dear street !---where at a certain hour Man's follies bud forth into flower! Where the gay minor sighs for fashion ; Where majors live that minor's cash on; Where each who wills may suit his wish, Here choose a Guido---there his fish :Or where, if woman's love beguiles, The ugliest dog is sure of smiles. Dear street of noise, of crowds, of wealth, Of all Earth's thousand joys, save health. Of plate, of books---and (I incline a Little that way) of old Sevres China. Of all, in short, by which pursuing, We glide entranced to our undoing ; Lounge through each mix'd and motley blessing Of loving, dining, driving, dressing-
London, Published by Colburn & Bantlar, Jin: 1837.
Despise expense and sober fools,
And wake at last--within the Rules !
Aye, just by that buck-haunted house,
Where well the cheer atones the chouse;
Where not a thing by palate polishid,
Can e'er in safety be demolish’d.
While the bill items, to your sadness,
The outrageous taxes paid to badness;
Counts all your hungers, if eschew'd
Your prudence the untempting food,
Or if you, greatly daring, dined,
The damn'd dyspepsias left behind.
Well—just by that renowned hotel
Where whiskered Tigers grimly dwell,
Where noble and his Dolly
Bask in the dung of vulgar folly.
Where the mustachio'd sharpers shun
The gulld friend, as the greedy dun.
Where Slang exalts his belcher'd nob,
And the smug waiter is “ Dear Bob."*
Well, just by this divine abode,
A group of Cynthias block'd the road :
No sooner did they see our two,
Than pounce on them the lasses flew!
* The waiter is accustomed to receive notes from gentlemen in “ Crack Regiments,” borrowing £20, and beginning “ Dear Bob.”
Perchance they fancied, if short-sighted,
Two things that seemed so close united--
Might be old R—th-ld, amorous soul !
Taking with Three-per-Cents a stroll.
Chang scowl'd upon them, grave and scornful-
One maid engross'd his bosom mournful
But Ching stopt short, with sparkling features,
And leering cried, “ What charming creatures !"
To you, dear reader! I must leave
The ladies' wonder to conceive,
When they perceived they had got hold of
The Twins they'd been so often told of-
While they were chatting and conferring,
Chang vainly begg’d them to be stirring;
But finding Ching was deaf to preaching,
Sullen he ceased from all beseeching,
Folded his arms, and raised his eyes,
And grew romantic on the skies.
Heaven knows to what, or where, gay Ching
Had sought the solemn Chang to bring ;
Had not three heroes of the shop,
Smith, Smythe, and Kin, pre-kin’d by Pop,
Warm from some revel nobly Bacchic,
Halted amid these ladies Sapphic ;
And Popkin-(ye have all heard tell
Of Popkin, hatter, in Pall Mall-