So Julian, when the crowd hc spied,
Would fain have sourly turn'd aside,
Muttering against folks’ strange fatuity,

In wasting time and cracking jokes
With such provoking assiduity

On the concerns of other folks.
Instead of walking lone, and pouting,
Whether to drown, or dangle doubting;
Fate, and her thousand vagaries cursing,
And Spleen affectionately nursing;
Shock'd like himself at aught of gladness,
And bearing life with proper sadness.

Laneham had turn'd aside, I say,
When suddenly the crowd gave way,
And wrangling in the midst he sees,-
By Jove !-our luckless Siamese.
Some are, who seem beyond all succour,
Destined for ever to a pucker;
In vain to-day they may escape,
To-morrow brings an uglier scrape;
Through life they plunge, strive, pant, and squabble,
And Death still finds them in a hobble.
Somewhat of this sad species I am
Afraid you'll think our Twins of Siam.

Laneham walk'd up and ask'd the matter ?
A hundred tongues reply in clatter !

But long ere silence was obtained,
This much at least he ascertained :
A serjeant tall wished to convey

Off Chang, well able to prevail, if
Ching were not dragged the other way

In the d—d clutches of a bailiff !
The fact was, Ching, who'd ever had
Expensive habits from a lad;
And, since his entré into fashion,
Had loved like other beaux to dash on;
Now reaped Profusion's sad results,
In an arrest from Mr. Stultz!
The bailiff seized him at the time

When Chang, in whose unconscious cold ear, Brave Serjeant Drill had the sublime

And gay profession of a soldier
Been dinning; found himself imbruted
With ale, and by the lord recruited !
We wanted then some gallants tall,
A Corps of Heroes for Bengal;
And Drill believed himself no dunce,
In bagging two such birds at once.
Well sure, that to enlist one brother,
Was quite enough to win the other.
Never, I ween, did War and Law
Their several ways more drolly draw.
Grappled on Chang the man of Slaughters !

The sturdy bailiff grappled on Ching !

The one pull'd this way to his quarters,

The other that way to the Spunging! While our astonish'd swarthy sad men,

Unconscious of the scrape they'd got in, Thought what a dangerous band of madmen

Fate suddenly had cast their lot in ! Much were they charm’d, you may suppose,

When they beheld their guardian Laneham, Once more at hand against their foes,

So opportunely to sustain 'em.

If e'er you want a friend to free,
Whom in a street-row you may see,
Two things are only necessary,
The first to be well dressed and very:
The second, to combine decorum
With a most copious vis verborum.*
Luckily Laneham both possessed,
And first the Serjeant he addressed :
“ Take off your new recruit, nor spare him ;

“But hark you, sir, if you molest “ This other gentleman, or bear him

Against his will—at your behest“Aye—but a single step from hence, Sir, · Why, tremble at the consequence, Sir.