"'Ev'n if one wish'd to chouse the people, "One's by the Lower House prevented; "There, by a slight expense of tipple, "We've all the Commons represented“And with such singular ability, "No groat's ere spent with inutility.* "Thus do we hold both license-and "Despotic fetters in ludibrium; "And thus must England ever stand "Erect-in triple equilibrium!
"These are the things that best distinguish men-
"These make the glorious boast of Englishmen !
"More could I tell you, were there leisure,
“But I have said enough to please, sure;
"Now, then, if you the resolution
"Take for a British Constitution,
“A British King, Church, Commons, Peers—
"I'll be your guide! dismiss your fears.
"With Hampden's name and memory warm you!
"And, d-n you all-but I'll reform you!
"As for the dogs that won't be free,
"We'll give it them most handsomely;
"To church with scourge and halter lead 'em,
"And thrash the rascals into freedom."
* Here the orator proceeds to enlarge upon the excellent formation of our House of Commons. But why print his prolix panegyrics after the Duke of Wellington's pithy eulogium? Besides, before this poem be published, that beautiful formation may be lost to the House of Commons.
Thus Hodges spoke, and ceasing, bowed,
Graceful as Burdett, to the crowd,
Who, need I say, could comprehend
No word ab ovo to the end.
But thought his accent vastly funny,
And hoped he meant to give them money.
Meanwhile, one wag, a little mellow,
Cried to his neighbours, with a grin,
Suppose we give this charming fellow
"A lift upon a palanquin!"
As sparks on tinder-words that call
To mirth-on vulgar meetings fall-
Our mob more joyously than gently,
Round Hodges closed incontinently;
On him with vigorous hands they set,
As from his tub he now descended,
And plunged him in a sort of net,
Or hammock, from a pole suspended.*
This then was placed upon the shoulders
(One at each end) of two upholders,
And thus the astounded patriot lodges-
On high-think what a rise for Hodges!
Then, to and fro, and up and down,
They trot the patriot through the town,
* "These palanquins consisted merely of a netting in the exact shape of a sailor's hammock, suspended from a pole; and each vehicle was carried on the shoulders of two men, one at each end of the pole. We at first experienced a little difficulty in preventing ourselves from rolling out of this contrivance."-Finlayson's Mission to Siam.
And mark, with many a jovial shout,
How well he 'scapes from rolling out;
As now he sits secure, and now,
With starting eyes, and horrent brow,
On brink of fate appears to hover,
Is all but in, and all but over;
Gripes with one hand the net, and shakes
The other at them in despair,
And asks if no damned statute takes
A British life beneath its care?
A toss breaks off the words he's uttering,
And swearing trembles into stuttering:
I'm sure you'll pardon him for swearing-
It is no joke, that sort of chairing!
And Claudian says-(how that old stuff
Boys read, to all men meet applies,)
• That men, like Hodges, must be rough
' In manner—when they take a rise !'*
Now Chang and Ching had all the while
Been two among the motley meeting,
And heard the speech--Ching, with a smile,
Listened—and thought some man of guile,
With juggling tricks the crowd was cheating;
But Chang, with wrinkled brow, and eyes
That like an owl's looked wond'rous wise,
Asperius nihil est humili cum surgit in altum."---Claudian.
Gravely perceived that must be grand,
Which was so hard to understand!
If facts were clear, what use in study?
The well of Truth is always muddy!
Of course these different ways of viewing
The good man, made them also eye
With different gaze, the seer pursuing
His" perilous career on high."
Gay Ching his hands with glee was clapping,
Shouting, "Ah, look! how near a toss over;"
Grave Chang, his arms around him wrapping,
Groaned, "What a state for a philosopher!"
Ching thought it was delightful sport,
Thinking not of the man's longevity;
Grave Chang made maxims on the short-
Sighted, and vulgar lust of levity!
And now the crowd's career at last, (Just as by Fiam's door it past,) Came all abruptly to an end!
For one of Hodges' two upbearers
Had an enchanting female friend,
(A chambermaid to Mrs. Fiam,)
And she, of course, was of the starers,
Who with stretched neck, and merry grin
Looked out, and saw the palanquin,
As now 'twas bouncing by 'em.
Who doth not know what mischiefs rise
From single glance of maiden's eyes ?*
Both, by the sport exhilarated,
And by the maiden's looks elated,
Willing to kill the girl with laughter
Not caring what might happen after,
This cursed fellow stopped, and sign'd
To t'other what was in his mind;
And then while Hodges, nought suspecting,
His breath was slowly re-collecting,
Deeming at length these barbarous men-a
Glimpse of reason had enlightened,
And that his course aeriâ pennâ
Would leave him now less hurt, than frightened,—
The two their sinews strained, and sent
Their load, with such a heave, on high,
You'd thought the luckless saint was sent
Upon a mission to the sky.
With hair erect, and long limbs sprawling,
The sight was really quite appalling;
So high he went, with such celerity,
It seemed as for some god-like merit, he
Carried from earth like great Alcides
To Jupiter's ambrosial side is.
But, oh! as maiden speakers break
Down, when their highest flight they take;
* I think this couplet I must alter,
It smacks too strongly of Sir Walter !
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