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O! model of the travelling tribe,

Though homage Satire always pays ill,
She must, with great respect, inscribe

This book to you, Illustrious B-1!
How well you scourge the Yankee race—
Their codes uncouth, their garbs unsightly ;-
Should Yankees answer,-in their face
You smile your wise contempt politely.*
How well you show, O sapient bore!
The curse from taxes to be free;-
And prop the parsons with " one more
Apt illustration from the sea."†
If he be great who nobly dares

The greatest things with least resources,
Oh! who, most learned H-, compares
With you his courage-and his forces?
You ridicule a mighty state,

Without a grain of wit for satire ; On knottiest points, with ease debate,

Without one just thought on the matter;

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* "In short, said I, unable to suppress a smile."-Hall's Travels in North America, vol. iii. p. 411. I merely smiled, and said nothing." ** "The lady's suspicions instantly took fire, on seeing the expression of my countenance.”—Ibid. vol. i. p. 110. A nice, agreeable fellow, for a disputant or a guest!

I should say,

that

+ "To borrow one more illustration from the sea, the Established Church may be compared to the rudder, and the country, with its multifarious arrangements of society, to the ship," &c.-Ibid. vol. iii. p. 405.

This charming metaphor occurs in the most entertaining conversation

With scarce the Traveller's art to gaze,
You ape the Sage's to distinguish-
And while dear England's laws you praise,
You quite forget the laws of English.
Ev'n now, while Freedom through the lands
Sweeps gathering on-behold in all
His might on Murray's counter stands
And fires his popgun-Captain H!

"Tis said when famed Alcides slew

The Earth's dread son—that Slumber bound him

The Hero woke-attacked anew

And saw-the tribe of PIGMIES round him!

So Truth some mighty victory gains—

And, lo, the Dwarfs rush out to seize her!

The Giant crushed-there still remains

Some tribe of H's that can but teize her!

But from the Traveller now we turn

One moment to address the Reader,

imaginable.

Captain H. resolved to prove the blessings of an aristocracy, rotten boroughs, tithes; and lord-I beg pardon-the devil knows what! sets up an unfortunate Yankee, by way of an argumentative nine pin. Away bowls the Captain, blunder after blunder, folly after folly, as glibly as possible; and not a syllable of rational defence, ever by accident, comes out of the mouth of the nine pin. I cannot say whether a full-grown American could have answered Captain H.; but I know, that an English boy of ten years' old, with a tolerable private education would have been a great deal too much for him.

* There is an old tradition, that when Hercules (the great reformer of the ancient world) had conquered the giant Antæus-(a sort of Charles the Tenth)—he fell asleep in the Lybian desert, and was suddenly awakened by an attack of the Pigmies.

To him ev'n Satire's self must learn

To sink the' Accuser-in the Pleader. Forgive a Muse who long hath dwelt

From ladies of her tribe too distant, Nor learnt how like thoughts never felt, To things that never were existent.* She is not privileged to prose

Let finer bards aspire to weary us; Most humbly she resigns to those,

The misanthropic and mysterious.
And if she breathe a truth, at times,

She doth but rarely seek to quarrel;
She strains the Reason through the Rhymes,
And weaves the smile into the moral.

A friend to Wisdom, not to Schools

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Let Dreamers into sects enlist 'em ;

For me at times, if with the fools"Tis not the folly of a system.+ Be mine to hover round the heart,

To warn to warm you by a word— And-while I mock the Leader's art,

To shun the livery of the Herd!

* A very clever Author of the day said to me once, speaking of the present character of poetical similies, that they had only one faultthat of comparing what one had never seen, to what one had never heard of.

"The most ingenious way of becoming foolish is by a system."Shaftesbury, Advice to an Author.

BOOK THE FIRST.

CHAPTER I.

ARGUMENT.

The introduction of Mr. Fiam-Description of the personal attractions of that gentleman-The improper negligence of his lady-The birth of our heroes-The bustle it occasions-The hypocrisies of nameThe resignation of clergymen, &c.-Aristotle wrong-The danger the Twins incur-Their deliverance.

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