66 does it give you pain now, when it is the act of another, and you have no more active part in the proceeding than to bear with patience, and look on with cheerfulness? To some this kind of trial is one recurring every day; it is specially their daily cross; "therefore to them it is of great importance that it should be "taken up" in a right spirit. First, then, they should carefully examine how far selfishness causes the sorrow they feel at being neglected and overlooked. As far as this sorrow is mingled with pain, they may be sure that selfishness is its cause. The most effectual cure is obedience to the commandment of God, "Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself." Compel yourself to the contemplation of the pleasure others receive, instead of the annoyance inflicted on yourself, and then, instead of your regret being aggravated *Matt. xxii. 39. xiii. 9. Gal. v. 14. Luke, xii. 31., x. 27. Romans, K by their happiness and tastes being consulted and gratified while yours are neglected, this circumstance will, on the contrary, prove the truest source of consolation. We can best obtain the valuable gift of a vivid sympathy with others' enjoyments by keeping our eyes steadily fixed on the contemplation of their pleasure, instead of our own pain. A generous nature will, after the first effort, find this comparatively easy, and the greatest part of the burden of your daily cross may thus be removed. But if you do not acquire, as a counteraction to your trials, an increasing love for your neighbour, the burden of the daily cross will become hourly more intolerable; as the tender place in the mind, from being continually irritated, will become continually more and more tender, and the surface of the wound more extended. There is no more common source of the unhappiness which too many complain of in their ordinary life, than the real or fancied experience that the welfare and the tastes of others are generally preferred to their own. The human heart naturally craves to be the first object, and that craving, in the diseased state of our nature, too readily leads to sin. You ought, under the circumstances of trial above described, to observe with care, and if possible without prejudice, whether the preference you complain of be perfectly, or even in a degree, justifiable. Finally, whatever be the case with respect to the human agents, you will easily ascertain, upon close self-examination, that this species of discipline was exactly suited to your need, exactly adapted for the detection of a hitherto-unsuspected sin. 66 Another form of selfishness may be brought to our remembrance," by the annoyance we feel at discovering that the truth has been concealed from us, or that actual deceit has been practised. In such cases, instead of directing the full weight of our indignation against the offender, it would be well to consider whether a large portion of the blame belongs to ourselves. It is a selfish neglect of the feelings, or the comforts, sometimes even of the rights of others, that frequently serves as a temptation to deceit, or want of candour. This is especially the case with respect to children or servants. If, during the course of this day, a part of your daily cross should be the sorrow of experiencing deceit or falsehood from either, examine whether in that particular instance a due regard to the apostolic injunction, “Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others," would not have averted from the child or the servant the temptation to the deceit they are blamed for. Having examined impartially into the facts of one case, it will then be easy for you to form a judgment how far your habitual want of consideration for others may first have almost forced them into falsehood, and then gradually established a habit of deceit. Whatever pain this discovery may cost you, if it lead to repentance, that pain may be a blessing, for you have exposed yourself, by selfish thoughtlessness (I only suppose want of thought, not deliberate injustice towards others), to the threatenings denounced against those who cause others to offend.* Genuine repentance can only be proved by an immediate alteration of conduct. Think carefully and scrupulously over the claim that children and dependents have upon you; the indulgences, the liberty, the consideration they have a right to expect. Reflection alone, it is probable, would be sufficient to show you the justice of many such expectations. You may hitherto only have been guilty of selfish thoughtlessness, *Matthew, xviii. 6. |
