at my heart, and it really appeared, that to partake would be eating and drinking damnation to myself indeed, and it appeared that the Lord would leave me in darkness forever. Such was the exercise of my mind, that tho' I attempted to partake of the elements of communion three times, I yet left my seat without partaking.

Finding myself without any enjoyment in the use of the sacrament, I hit on a plan whereby I might find the truth, as to the enjoyment of others. When I found a member of society, who I thought appeared to be most favored in the use of the sacrament, I would interrogate them (citing them to some one who they supposed to be much favored in the sacrament,) whether they believed themselves as highly blessed in the sacramental. observance, as they were. When I had oc- . casionally made this inquiry, I found that as it had measureably been with me, so it was with them: because they did not receive that enjoyment which others appeared to receive, they were ready to attribute their lack to the sin of unbelief. Like myself, they were not apt to dispute the grace of the supposed sacrament, but supposed others to be highly favored, though they were not. Here I Here I perceived that they were following the example of each other, rather than their own experience; and that if they found any enjoyment, it was the approbation of their own conscience, for having done the thing which they

thought was duty, and not the approbation of God. I now became satisfied that it was my duty never to be found at the communion table again, and accordingly I never atteinpted it after.

Some may perhaps think strange that I should have so withstood my convictions, but because my way was singular to myself, to prove what Spirit there was within me, I pursued things to the last extremity; as in communion, so it was in prayer, and in preaching, and in other things. It was now that I became sensible of the part that I must act. I could no longer dream of any comfort in complying with the traditions of others, the apprehension and threatenings with which my mind was attended, seemed more to be dreaded than all the consequences which might attend my intended course, I must now make up my mind, to meet all the cold reception of insane superstition and contend with that duplicity which is too frequently the unsuspected result of long practice, and tradition.

On the force of education

It's conscience in effect-
And claims its approbation.

It's right, reason, yet man's will,

Found in shape and shaped again→

Diversified man's reason still.

It's found in doing and ir intuition,
Though still man's reason, still bere ft,

Of all but man's tradition

→To him all but the thing itself.

Tradition has neither eyes nor ears to listen to the most rational arguments, or to behold with the least complacency that which may tend to render a beloved dogma in this or that problematical.

Wearied at length with the dead and lifeless ceremonies to which I was daily subjected in a more or less degree, I began to project my escape. Whenever I appeared in public to preach, according to custom, I was obliged to introduce the worship of God (as it is called) by first introducing a Psalm or Hymn, and by this I frequently wounded my conscience, and not only so, but vocal prayer used many times in an unseasonable way, appeared no less improper. If I attempted the use of a text in the usual way, I was sometimes obliged, in the midst of my discourse, to change my text for some other one,. that I had never thought of; or I was obliged to leave my text altogether, and speak in a way of exhortation. Finding that I could not always travel the smooth and flowery path which man's wisdom had drawn, and believing that the Lord, by his Spirit, and by his judgments had taught me that I must bear my cross and be crowned with suffering, that I might be crowned with life, I became resolved to delay duty no longer.

Foreseeing by what had already past, that storm which always follows those who withdraw from society for conscience-sake, I thought it would be my best way to draw

from the society an acknowledgment that they had nothing against me, as a member of society, and accordingly I attended a monthly meeting and requested that if any member in society had any thing against me, that they would bring their accusation forward within one month from that time.

When the month had ended, no one appeared to accuse my conduct; I then requested a dismission from society, that I might stand by myself. I now cited the brethren to my first testimony against the ordinances, about two years then past, and told them that I had never given up the doctrine for which I then advocated. This undertaking was very unexpected, as I had been very quiet and kept my trials principally to myself. This first request was followed with a letter stating some of my principal grievances. I told them, that if ever they heard me preach again they must expect to hear me speak pointedly against the sacraments. Notwithstanding my request, many were unwilling to let me go, because it was contrary to the common custom of the church to let a member go out of society, who was in good standing, unless they attached themselves to some other denomination. But to join any other denomination, was out of my power, as I knew of none who believed as I did; therefore I urged the inconsistency of holding me as a member in society, when I was resolved to speak against such things as the society held most sacred.

I told them, that if they would not let me go, I would consider myself as free from them as if I had never joined them; but my request was, that they would give me a letter stating the difference between me and the society to be on account of tenets. I begged the privilege ofleaving society without being lampooned as christians were frequently for leaving society for conscience-sake.

When it was known that I was determined in my undertaking, the society agreed that I should have a letter, stating things measureably as they were; but some claimed the privilege, as a duty, if possible to reclaim me from my errors, as they were pleased to call them. When it was found that I was past being reclaimed by any arguments produced, the difficulties with which I must meet in my singular undertaking were next exhibited the awful consequence of turning christians from the sacraments, was represented as an unpardonable sin, and the way to destroy all the good that I had ever done, and that, whereas I might maintain a respectable membership in society, by my new undertaking, I should subjugate myself to the frowns of all denominations, I should lose my respectability-be laughed at for my folly, and counted enthusiastic for my religion. When all this was named to me, I signified that the difficulties represented was but the faintest representation of the difficulties with which I had expected to meet, and that, if there